Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
“I saw your prescription bottles in the medicine cabinet,” Mel fires back. “The bottles were full.”
“Not all of them!” Tessa says. “Look, some of those meds suck the life out of me. Verity, you get it. How am I supposed to act when I can’t feel? I didn’t even want to have sex for so long. Me! You know how much I love dick.”
“It’s, like, in your top three fave things,” I half joke, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere on the video call.
“And it ain’t two or three,” Tessa replies, silently thanking me with her eyes. We’re usually near telepathic, and yet I didn’t know.
“Being on those meds is like looking at the world through a veil,” Tessa continues. “I just want to lift that for a bit. If you can’t enjoy your life, why even live it?”
Worry and panic rise to the surface, but I try to school my features so Tessa doesn’t detect it.
“Of all people,” Tessa says, tears in her eyes, “you understand, Ver. I know you do.”
“Of course, honey,” I reply gently. “You know when we were trying to find the right balance for me, I was miserable, but you can’t just stop cold turkey. That’s really dangerous.”
Tessa’s eyes narrow and her lips thin. “I gotta go or I’ll be late for an audition.”
She disconnects, leaving me on the call with only Mel.
“Jesus,” I whisper, and blink away tears. “This is bad.”
“Yeah.” Mel blows out a breath and lifts her eyes to the ceiling. “And we both know from experience, if she doesn’t get back on her meds, it’s only gonna get worse.”
“I’ll come for Christmas. I need to see her. And we did say we’d go somewhere. Let’s plan it.”
“I won’t be here,” Mel says, and her lips twitch against a smile.
“Wait.” I wave a finger at my own mouth. “What’s going on in this area? Anything you need to share with the class?”
“I met someone.” Mel lets the grin out. “He’s amazing. His name’s Clint. He’s over in HR at my cousin’s firm, and we met at her company picnic. I was tagging along and BAM!”
“How long have you been seeing him?”
She looks a little sheepish and one-shoulder shrugs. “A few weeks.”
“And this is the first I’m hearing about him?”
We’ve always been oversharers when it comes to our love lives, telling each other every detail as soon as there is a detail.
Mel sighs and shakes her head. “Tessa and I haven’t been good. This turn she’s taken has affected not just her work, but some of her friendships. Our friendship. I’ve been spending more and more time at Clint’s.”
It’s only then that I notice her background is unfamiliar, not any room I recognize from their apartment.
“So Tessa’s basically living alone right now?” I ask cautiously. “When she’s not taking her meds regularly?”
“Not alone. I haven’t abandoned her,” Mel rushes to explain, a defensive note in her voice. “We still live together, but I needed some space. It’s a lot. She’s a lot right now.”
She’s a lot.
I’m a lot, too, when my moods swing. It’s more than most can handle, even people who know everything and have been with you for years. The hazard of letting people that close is the pain when they pull away because it’s too much. I just got Monk back, even if it’s casual. He’s close enough to touch again, and I don’t want to lose that.
“I know it’s tough, Mel,” I tell her, holding her eyes with my own, spotting her guilt. “You’re a good friend to us both. Thank you for all you’re doing, how you’re taking care of her while I’m out here.”
Mel swallows and pastes on a smile that tries really hard to look normal.
“So,” she says, her tone overbright, shifting us away from this contentious topic and back to the one I wanted to avoid. “When are you gonna tell Monk what was really going on back then?”
Yeah, no. I don’t think I will.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Monk
“Did you have any notes for that Hazel Scott scene tomorrow?” Canon asks from the speakerphone on Verity’s kitchen counter.
“Nope,” she replies, warning me to be quiet with a finger to her lips when I enter the room. “I think we’re locked.”
We’ve managed to keep our… whatever this is we’re doing… a secret from the crew, but this is Canon. I wouldn’t care if he found out. Yeah, he’d tease me mercilessly, the same way I always rib him about his attraction to Neevah, but it wouldn’t be a big deal. I’d actually love to talk to him about this. Ask him if I’m delusional, naive, or something in between to let Verity this close again. She and I agreed to keep it on the low, though, and that’s fine for now.
Because I only allow myself to think for now. I don’t want to consider how tangled up my feelings will get if we keep doing this. I wanted her however I could get her, and I have her. That’s about as far ahead as I let myself think.