Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
It’s quiet in the wake of my confession. I hadn’t thought of that photo, but it’s in a drawer by my bed. I rarely take it out, but I know it’s there. I need to know it’s there.
“Three’s enough,” Verity says softly, reaching across the small space separating us to cup my jaw.
I turn my head to kiss her palm and cover her hand with mine. “Come back to bed. You gotta get up soon.”
She casts an anxious glance at the papers strewn all over my living room floor. “But I just hit my stride and I—”
“Need to rest.” I reach over and drag her into my lap, her long smooth legs falling to either side of me. “You’ve barely slept this week.”
“It’s due soon. I need to finish this.” She hooks one arm around my neck and slumps against me. “I got plenty of sleep.”
I brush a thumb over the shadows under her eyes. “These dark circles tell a different story.”
My legs shake because she’s tapping her toes against the floor. Her fingers restlessly twist the hem of the T-shirt she’s wearing, one of mine. She’s practically vibrating in my arms.
“You okay, Vee?” I lift her chin and check her eyes. I know how little sleep she’s gotten, but she seems wired and emits this unrelenting energy so different from the relatively laid-back woman I’m used to.
“Of course.” Her smile is much too bright for three a.m.
“How many Red Bulls have you had this week?” I ask only half jokingly. “I know you got this project due, but—”
“Stop worrying about me.”
“Never.”
I lean forward to kiss her cheek, her nose, her lips. It’s hard to believe I’ve known her less than a year. Sometimes these feelings wash over me, a powerful wave that could drown me if I’m not careful.
And I don’t even care.
Ever since my parents’ marriage fell apart, our lives fell apart, I’ve been cautious about romantic relationships. It’s why I’ve only ever fucked and bounced my whole time at Finley. Leave it to me to meet the girl of my dreams when I’m graduating and she has another year left.
“I’ve been thinking about Juilliard,” I venture, watching her face for a reaction.
“Yeah, me too.” Her expression clouds, and she drops her gaze to her lap. “Hard not to, since you’ll be gone soon.”
“What if I delayed going a year?” I rush ahead of the protests I already know will come. “I could keep working at the studio and do gigs with Tony around town.”
“Why would you do that?” she asks, a frown gathering on her smooth face.
Because I’m in love with you.
It’s a silent declaration that bounces only off the walls inside my head. It’s too soon to tell her. She probably wouldn’t believe me. My advisers would try to talk me out of waiting. My mom, who instilled my love of music from such an early age, would freak out. My instructors at Juilliard, with whom I’ve communicated over the last two years, would be deeply disappointed by any delay. Music has been the most important thing in my life for as long as I can remember, but that was before Verity.
And I know it sounds unreasonable to delay something so vital to my future for her, but how could I explain that she feels like my future? And where I live, what I do—it’s just details I’m willing to reshape and build around her; around this connection that has felt deeper and more significant from the moment I met this woman than any other. That not one day has passed since that first night that I haven’t thought of her?
But I can’t say any of that. When we started this, she told me the intensity between her parents had been too much. The last thing I want to do is reveal how deep this goes for me already. I might scare her away.
“Why would I delay a year?” I repeat her question, pressing my forehead to hers. “Because I don’t want to leave you. Petra might swoop in and take you from me again.”
I chuckle to keep it light and she searches my eyes, yielding a smile after a few seconds.
“I don’t want you to sacrifice that kind of opportunity for me, Monk.”
“I wouldn’t be sacrificing anything. Just delaying a year, the way you did.”
“Like I did?” She goes still, lifting her lashes to look into my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“When you withdrew from USC and waited till you were ready to come back to school.”
A hoarse laugh slips past her lips. “That was a very different situation. I certainly didn’t have Juilliard waiting for me while I got my shit together.”
“We’ve never really talked about what happened. I mean what really happened that last semester in Cali.”
“What do you mean, what really happened?” Her eyes narrow suspiciously. “Why are you digging in my business?”