Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145746 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
“So young,” she whispers, eyes cast down to her lap where her fingers twist. “Finley feels like a lifetime ago.”
“I’m sure we’ve both changed…” I pause, weighing the words that could derail this conversation. “I know I have. If we do this, I wouldn’t expect to be the only one this time.”
She stares at me, the light in her eyes dimming. “You’re saying that because you think I would cheat on you.”
“I’m saying that because that’s not what this would be. I still want you more than any woman I’ve ever met. We have another four months or so on this film. It’s either iron out this mess between us and move on, or walk around hard as a rock for the immediate future, but this ain’t rainbows and picket fences and soulmate shit.”
I ignore the voice inside reminding me that is exactly what I believed Verity was. Can someone be your soulmate if you’re not theirs? Because even as I say the words, they feel like a betrayal of what I felt back then: that she was it for me.
I just wasn’t it for her.
And I’ve had to reconcile that to make it this far. To have this conversation.
“I see,” she says softly, eyes lowered. “So we’re just fucking each other and can fuck anyone else, too, is what you mean.”
Something violent whirs in my belly, an uprising I subdue. I want this. I want her, and that gut reaction is just… habit. I’ve done no-strings relationships, nonexclusive hookups, before. It’s never been a problem. It’s just unfortunate that I tried to make the woman I desire most an exception. We can have sex and that’s all and with other people, too.
“I just ask that you use protection,” I force the words out. “I mean, obviously, when we’re together, we will, too, but—”
“I’ve never had unprotected sex with any man but you.” She looks up then, her chin tilted in defiance as if she dares me to call her a liar.
“Me neither. With a woman, I mean.”
She smirks with the sly humor only those closest to her usually get to see. “I’d be fine if you’re a little bi-curious, Monk. I’m not one of those girls who’s freaked out by a man in touch with the pleasures of his prostate.”
I sputter a laugh and shake my head. “No one’s ever been near my prostate. Not even me. I’d need turn-by-turn directions to even find it.”
“Now that’s a shame.” She lifts her brows in a taunt, in a dare. “Maybe we should add pegging to the list of things we explore.”
“Fine with me,” I say, not sure that it is, but not wanting to back down.
She sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
“We’ll see who blinks first.” I chuckle. “So… we agree? If we do this, it would be casual and open?”
“Yeah.” The humor in her eyes and on her face fades to nothing. “Casual and open.”
“Let’s take Thanksgiving break to make sure we should do this, and if we both still feel this way when we get back…”
We fuck.
I don’t have to say the words aloud. We both know what it would be, but it’s so different from what we were back then.
“Sounds good,” she agrees with a decisive nod.
“Great,” I say. “So when do you fly out? I assume you’re headed to Georgia for Thanksgiving with the aunties.”
“They’ve already started preparing the feast. You headed to Virginia?”
“Yeah. I’ll see my mom, brother, and sister. The nephews and nieces.”
“You’re an uncle?” She gasps. “I had no idea.”
“Shrieva and Charlie both married pretty young and got down to business in the baby department. Being fruitful and multiplying.”
“Does everyone ask when you’ll settle down and have some kids?”
“Pffft. They know better than to put expectations on me. They’ll only be disappointed.” I run my hand over the thin comforter covering Dessi’s prop bed. “I’ll have kids when I’m ready.”
“It does usually take more than just one person,” she says wryly. “I notice you didn’t say ‘settle down.’ You may fool everyone else with the cynic thing, but that happy ending you always wanted is still in there somewhere. I know you, Monk.”
“You knew me,” I remind her. “Things change.”
We stare at each other for a few seconds, and I reassess her, sizing up this new version in front of me. I already know she tastes the same, feels as good as she ever did, but she has changed. So have I, and maybe we won’t know how much until after Thanksgiving.
“So… how’s your dad?” she asks. Her tone implies how are things with your dad. The last she knew, he and I were completely estranged.
“Eh.” I shrug with deliberate nonchalance. “We talk from time to time. It’s not perfect, but since my mom remarried, it’s gotten better.”
“Your mom remarried? Wow, that’s wonderful.”