Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 53417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 267(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 53417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 267(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
“Oh, please. You can spare a couple minutes for me.”
“Yeah.”
“We need to get together again. What are your plans on Thursday? All my wife talks about is seeing you two again.”
You two.
I go the opposite way from the lobby, following the hall without looking where I’m going until I find an alcove with a bench.
“I’m not sure I can make that happen.”
“What?” Scott laughs, like I’ve made a hilarious joke. “We all want to see her again, and we’re sick of seeing you twice a year.”
“You see me twice a year because I’m busy.”
“We’re all busy,” he argues, still laughing. “We can’t let you slip away, man. That’s how you lose people.”
“I…” What am I supposed to say to that? Not having dinner together isn’t how you lose people. They work themselves to death and die. That’s how you lose them. And I don’t think eating at fancy restaurants will do anything to stop that.
Except...he’s right. I felt miserable last night because there was nobody to call. Nobody I wanted to talk to except Maddie. Because I’ve pulled myself away from all of them. “I know that.”
“You okay?” His voice gets softer, and I can tell Scott’s catching on to the fact that he got me at a bad time.
I almost lie out of habit. That’s what I’ve done all this time. There’s no reason to burden anyone else.
Then I think of Maddie, crying in her bed.
“I don’t know.” Unwanted emotions surface and I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“What happened?” There’s a creak in the background of the call, like he’s sat down behind his desk. A door closes somewhere nearby. Scott didn’t call me to listen to me complain about my own foolish mistakes, but somewhere in the city, he’s sitting down, ready to listen.
“I don’t know.” I feel sick from how little I know. From how little I asked. From how unwilling she was to confide in me. “Something’s going on with Maddie.”
“Oh,” he says, thoughtful. “And she didn’t tell you what it was?”
“No.” I don’t know how much to tell him. It’s not really my business, what’s happening in Maddie’s life, only…it is my fucking business. I care about her, and I’m not going to stop because something happened that I wasn’t there to prevent. “I went up to see her last night, and she was crying. Told me she wanted me to leave.”
“And have you talked today?”
“No.”
“This was last night?”
“Yeah.”
“Jesus, Graham. Go knock on her door.”
“I don’t think she wants that.”
“You're her boyfriend. I’m sure she wants that. Even if she doesn’t want to lean on you, she wants to lean on you. Trust me.”
This is the worst possible time to admit that I lied about all the details I gave my friends. “We didn’t meet at the bar. We met at the building.”
Scott lets out a surprised laugh. “At your building, you mean?”
“She lives here. And she fell behind on the rent, so...”
“So you swooped in to be her hero?”
God I love his version so much better. Her hero. I roll my eyes and know damn well I took advantage. If only he knew how much I wanted to tell him that story. If only he knew how much I wanted it to be true.
“In a way.”
“Um...what kind of way?”
“The kind where she told me she’d do anything if I could help her out with the rent, and I agreed.”
He doesn’t say anything.
I check my phone.
Call’s still connected.
“Scott?”
“You made a deal with her for sex?”
“It sounds terrible when you say it like that.”
“I’m not judging.” I think he might not be. Scott’s always been the most levelheaded of us all. I can hear him drumming his fingertips on the desk in a slow rhythm. “She was into it, I’m assuming, since—”
“Yes, she was into it,” I snap. “I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. You know that.”
“I do,” he says quickly. “I do. Then what happened? You decided to date her?”
“The arrangement continued in a way where we became closer and there are feelings…at least on my end.”
“Okay,” he says slowly and appears to be more agreeable with the situation. “But...it’s nothing formal.”
“We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend,” I say, hating how cynical it sounds and how petulant the statement is.
“You might want to have a conversation about that, if...things are happening.”
“Yeah.”
A minute passes. It starts to seem like a good idea. To tell her that I’m her boyfriend now and that she can confide in me for more emotional things. I shift where I stand, thinking it’s not going to work, but if she’s going to leave me, it’s an offer. I don’t know what it’s worth, but it may be worth something.
Scott just waits on the other end of the line.
“Graham.”
“Yeah?”
“Go talk to her. You’re not going to fuck up your life by telling someone you love them.”