Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com Sun, 02 Mar 2025 13:35:10 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 http://www.ilovenovels.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/favicon.png Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.ilovenovels.com 32 32 Peacocks (Licking Thicket #5) Read Online Lucy Lennox http://www.ilovenovels.com/peacocks-licking-thicket-5-read-online-lucy-lennox Sun, 02 Mar 2025 13:35:10 +0000 http://www.ilovenovels.com/peacocks-licking-thicket-5-read-online-lucy-lennox Categories Genre: Contemporary, M-M Romance Tags Authors: Series: Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
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Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 42882 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 172(@250wpm)___ 143(@300wpm)
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Lane’s Tips for Licking Thicket Newcomers

If at all possible, find yourself a hot and helpful landlord like Jaybird Proud who mows the lawn shirtless… and hope your grass grows quickly.

Expect the unexpected at work. If you’re a veterinarian, this might mean letter-cows, pet pigs that aren’t pets, and Butterscotch the Pomeranian, who has Strong Feelings about his glands.

Offer your help around town when needed… especially when that gorgeous landlord knocks on your door because his (pea)cock won’t stop displaying.

Learn about local customs, including: matchmaking, leaving Italian Gentlemen on the doormat, ordering tater tots, and entwining dead vines into wreaths as a sign of true love.

Get your car washed on the regular… especially when your landlord is the one doing the scrubbing.

Above all, keep things casual, even when Jay ends up at your place every night. And every morning. And the occasional afternoon.

But when you find yourself falling for someone like Jaybird Proud (and life in his weird and wonderful town), let go of everything you thought you wanted… and Entwine that Thicketeer forever.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Lane’s Tips for Licking Thicket Newcomers

If at all possible, find yourself a hot and helpful landlord like Jaybird Proud who mows the lawn shirtless… and hope your grass grows quickly.

Expect the unexpected at work. If you’re a veterinarian, this might mean letter-cows, pet pigs that aren’t pets, and Butterscotch the Pomeranian, who has Strong Feelings about his glands.

Offer your help around town when needed… especially when that gorgeous landlord knocks on your door because his (pea)cock won’t stop displaying.

Learn about local customs, including: matchmaking, leaving Italian Gentlemen on the doormat, ordering tater tots, and entwining dead vines into wreaths as a sign of true love.

Get your car washed on the regular… especially when your landlord is the one doing the scrubbing.

Above all, keep things casual, even when Jay ends up at your place every night. And every morning. And the occasional afternoon.

But when you find yourself falling for someone like Jaybird Proud (and life in his weird and wonderful town), let go of everything you thought you wanted… and Entwine that Thicketeer forever.

Chapter One

Lane

After my last disaster of a relationship, in which I’d been accused of being “a master of emotional evasion” who was “fundamentally indifferent toward romantic partnerships”—don’t date a law professor, people, just don’t—I never expected to find myself interested in another man.

And even if I had? Even if, somewhere in a sealed-shut compartment in the back of my brain, there existed a part of me that wasn’t entirely “indifferent toward romantic partnerships” on the whole?

I’d sure as hell never expected the object of my fascination could be someone like Jaybird Proud.

Jaybird had offered to rent me the apartment over his garage when I moved to Licking Thicket six months ago… then refused to cash my rent checks because I was his cousin Charlie’s boyfriend’s friend, which “practically makes us family, Lane!”—an assessment I disagreed with on many, many levels.

Jaybird greeted me most evenings, come rain or come shine, with a bright, handsome smile, a cheery “Howdy, neighbor!” and occasionally the offer of a dinner casserole. Or a beer. Or, on one memorable occasion, a “dirt cake”… whatever the hell that was.

Jaybird wore snap-back hats with misspelled John Dear logos (“on account of Kitten Montgomery’s confusion at Valentine’s Day while working the embroidery machine,” Jaybird had explained. “But I don’t wanna make her feel bad by not wearing it, do I?”).

Jaybird’s career ambition began and ended with working at the Suds Barn as a full-time Automobile Cleansing Artisan (not joking) because “there’s nothin’ more satisfying than settin’ things to rights.”

Jaybird had never met a T-shirt with sleeves that hadn’t seen the sharp edge of a pair of scissors (which, okay… shoutout to Jesus for that one) even when the weather turned cold.

He was like a splinter under my skin. Too silly to take seriously, too friendly to be genuine, and too sexy not to fantasize about… sometimes multiple times a night.

“The man’s gonna drive me to drink,” I admitted to my friend Hunter before taking a bite of my ham and swiss. I only had a half-hour lunch break today between a morning full of spay and neuter surgeries and an afternoon packed with wellness appointments, so I was glad Hunter had agreed to get to the Thicket Tavern early and order for us.

Hunter had heard my complaints often enough now that he didn’t bother asking for clarification.

“What’s Jaybird done now?” He crunched a cucumber slice, looking way too amused at my plight.

“Cleaned the ice off my windshield this morning,” I muttered. “Mirrors too. Said he didn’t want my fingers to freeze off before I did surgery this morning. Who does that?”

Hunter let out a low whistle. “Diabolical.”

“It is,” I insisted.

I knew I probably sounded ridiculous, but I simply didn’t understand why Jaybird did the things he did. In my experience, people didn’t do nice things—not so many nice things, at least, and not all in a row—for no reason.

But try as I might, I couldn’t puzzle out what Jaybird’s agenda was.

If he was a dog, or a cat, or even a turkey, like Hunter and Charlie’s pet, Tammy Wynette, I’d have known exactly what he wanted and how to handle him.

Men had always been much, much harder for me to read… and unfortunately for me, Jaybird was undeniably a man.

All six feet and several sexy inches of him.

“You know… you could move out,” Hunter suggested. “Morris and Danica Borris are retiring down to Georgia and selling their spread.”

I glanced up at him. “Morris Borris?”

He ignored me. “You’d like their place. Ten acres at the edge of town. Super quiet. River access for fly fishing. It’s exactly what you talked about when you considered moving up here.”

My stomach twisted at the idea.

Yes, fishing had been one of the draws of moving to Licking Thicket from Athens last summer. There had been many. First and foremost was the opportunity to escape the quasi-scandal that had resulted from my breakup with Professor Chadwick Montgomery. The University of Georgia was a big school but a tiny town, and if I’d had to respond to one more well-meaning, whisper-voiced, “How you doing with, uh… with Chad’s wedding and all?” I was going to lose it.


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Fools (Licking Thicket #3) Read Online Lucy Lennox http://www.ilovenovels.com/fools-licking-thicket-3-read-online-lucy-lennox Sun, 07 Mar 2021 09:05:38 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/fools-licking-thicket-3-read-online-lucy-lennox Categories Genre: M-M Romance, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
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Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87942 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
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Fools (Licking Thicket #3)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

Lucy Lennox
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B08L86PVD6
Book Information:

Tucker Wright’s Clues for Life:
What’s a 4-letter word for an utterly oblivious, totally commitment-phobic, heartbreakingly gorgeous man with a pet pig named Bernadette?
That’d be D-U-N-N, as in Dunn Johnson, my very best pal and fishing buddy since I moved to Licking Thicket.
What’s a 6-letter word for a nerdy, crossword-loving town doctor who’s doomed to be hopelessly, thoroughly, irrevocably, in love with that straight best friend for the rest of his born days?
That’s T-U-C-K-E-R, as in me.
But when I agree to let Dunn be my 24/7 dating coach, and he decides to get our whole nosy town in on the act, there’s only one 5-letter word to describe the pair of us.
F-O-O-L-S.
Books in Series:

Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
Books by Author:

Lucy Lennox


1

Tucker

2-Down: Fallacy; hallucination (8 letters)

“Doc Wright?” my office manager called. “Hey, Tuck, ya got a visitor! Where’d you get to?”

I froze, pencil in my hand and crossword book on my knee, glasses sliding down my nose, half an unchewed mint Milano cookie between my teeth, a thirty-six-year-old picture of guilt.

I reached up and flipped off the light on my headlamp.

Vienna Goodley had one of those voices that carried—as in, through the walls of my medical practice on the ground floor of the old Victorian and up the stairs to my apartment, down Walnut Street and over the highway, southwest as far as Nashville, and east to the Smokies. She was lovely and kind and terrifyingly efficient, but the way she yelled made vases tremble and cracks appear in the enamel of my teeth.

Still, I couldn’t exactly fire her. For one thing, I genuinely liked her most of the time. For another thing, I hadn’t ever really hired her. I’d just sort of inherited her when I bought the practice from Doc Thorne before he and his wife retired to Cape Coral a couple of years back, and I’d found it easier not to question things.

My first morning in the house, I’d stepped out of the shower dressed only in a towel and found her coming out of the utility room off the kitchen in my private living area carrying an enormous wrench.

“Mornin’, Tuck! I’m Vienna Goodley, your office manager,” she’d said cheerily, once I’d peeled my testicles off the ceiling and finished screaming. “I remember you from when you were a little boy. Noticed the hot water pressure was a little wonky, so I fixed it for ya.”

I hadn’t known it then, but this was Vienna’s MO: she identified a problem, and she solved it, by God. And she preferred to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

Most of the time, this was a wonderful thing. She’d managed my bookkeeping and dealt with insurance hassles. She’d enforced a flawless scheduling system for patient appointments, working with my receptionist, Annie, that helped me run more efficiently and guarded my personal time for fishing and volunteering. She gave practical advice, and always made extra roast beef on Sundays so I could have her leftovers.

But there were also times when her take-charge attitude was less wonderful. Like the time she’d cleared my pantry of refined sugar (an incident I privately referred to as the Great Cookie Massacre of 2017), or the many times she’d leaned over my shoulder to provide unsolicited feedback on my crossword puzzles (if a man happened to spelled sassafras with the extra s in the wrong spot, that was his own damn business and nobody else’s), and most recently, after what I could only assume was a pumpkin pie–fueled Hallmark movie marathon, her insistence on overhauling my lackluster love life by inviting prescreened “gentleman callers” to the office for me to “interview” as potential lovers.

One guy had brought a list of references.

Not kidding.

I’d tried talking to Vienna about this a whole bunch of times, but she never seemed to get the message, and to be honest, that was probably my fault. I was shit at setting boundaries with people who cared about me.

Strangers and acquaintances, colleagues and patients? I could lay down the law without a problem. But how did you enforce a boundary when someone genuinely had your best interest at heart? How were you supposed to tell someone they weren’t loving you the way you needed, you know?

I’d found the easier thing to do was to simply avoid the situation entirely. Vienna couldn’t get me to agree to a date if she couldn’t find me.

“Doc Wright? You in here?” Vienna knocked on my office door before pushing it open with a squeak. “Well, I just don’t know where he could’ve gone! I’d swear I didn’t hear the door.” I could picture her in her fall wardrobe of black turtleneck and khaki pants, hands propped on her hips, peeking under my desk in case I’d somehow gotten stuck there and needed an assist. I heard her cross to the window and pictured her peering out at the leaf-strewn backyard, wondering if I’d made a break for it.

My mouth started to go cottony around my cookie, and I felt the urge to cough.

“No worries, Ms. Vienna,” a familiar, deep voice reassured her. “I’ll just sit right here, put my feet up—” I heard a squeak as my best friend settled his large, muscular frame into my chair and no doubt tilted himself backward with his hands stacked behind his head, like my ultra-ergonomic desk chair was the old, plaid recliner in his fishing cabin. “—and wait for Tuck to show up.”

The voice rumbled with hidden laughter I liked to think only I could hear. It made my heart squeeze and an answering smile hover on my lips. Dunn Johnson always, always found something in life to smile over. It was one of the things I loved best about him.


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Flakes (Licking Thicket #0.5) Read Online Lucy Lennox http://www.ilovenovels.com/flakes-licking-thicket-0-5-read-online-lucy-lennox Sun, 17 Jan 2021 19:49:02 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/flakes-licking-thicket-0-5-read-online-lucy-lennox Categories Genre: Contemporary, Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Novella, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
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Total pages in book: 21
Estimated words: 19689 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 98(@200wpm)___ 79(@250wpm)___ 66(@300wpm)
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Flakes (Licking Thicket #0.5)

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

Lucy Lennox
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B08L86BTPQ
Book Information:

Colin’s Do’s and Don’ts for a Happy New Year:
1. Do not develop a crush on your archnemesis, contractor Ryder Richards.
2. Do finish remodeling the heinous mega-mansion with him well before the first snowflakes fall on New Year’s Eve.

3. Do not notice that he's still the hottest man in Licking Thicket.

4. Do not let that gorgeous man provoke you.

5. Do not let his provocation distract you.

6. Do not let your distraction leave you stranded at the house with him during a blizzard.

7. Dear heavens, do not let him crack open the moonshine and light a fire.

8. Do not play drunken truth or dare with him.

9. And for gravy’s sake, do not let yourself fall in love.
10. But if you do… Don't be surprised if this is the happiest year ever.
Books in Series:

Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
Books by Author:

Lucy Lennox


1

Colin

“Are you suggesting I’m some kind of flake, Kearns?”

Ryder Richards stood in the middle of Ruby Granger’s almost-finished kitchen with his corded, tattooed arms folded across his broad chest. His toolbelt hung low over jeans that were criminally tight, his long dark hair looked freshly tousled, his normally olive skin was flushed pink, and his dark blue eyes spat fire at me.

Sadly for him, this wasn’t the first time (or the 101st time) he’d gotten all riled up over one of my perfectly innocent, entirely helpful comments in the three-ish years we’d found ourselves working the same remodeling jobs.

Sadly for me, a riled-up Ryder Richards was not one whit less enticing now than he’d been years ago, nor was he any more interested in hooking up with a skinny, straightlaced interior designer than he’d ever been.

Which was a good thing. Obviously.

Or maybe not a good thing, per se. He was extremely good-looking—rich, dark hair that was always messed up from his motorcycle helmet and blue-green eyes that seemed to notice everything. But me mixing business and sexytimes? Heck to the no, no matter how handsome the guy was. I’d learned that lesson a long time before Ryder and I ever met, and it had stuck.

And yeah, it had maybe stung that Ryder, who seemed to have a coy smile and a flirty joke for every contractor, inspector, delivery person, pizza guy, and golden retriever he encountered, seemed to save all his scowls for me. There were miles of land between scowls and sexytimes, after all, and there was a hot minute there where I’d have liked to be friends. Friendly. Something.

Nowadays, though? Pffft. I barely noticed.

Or, okay, maybe I noticed—maybe I couldn’t help but notice—but at least now I could rationalize his weird dislike of me as me doing my job.

Ryder might be an incredibly talented carpenter, and his company, Richards Renovations, might be the best in the business, but Ryder had let all the praise go to his big, dumb, sexy head. It was, therefore, my duty to call him on his bullshit, right? That’s what I tried to tell myself. And never let it be said that Colin Kearns, lead designer and soon-to-be partner in Marvel Interiors, shirked his duty.

“A flake? Gosh, no! You misunderstand me, Mr. Richards.” I clasped my iPad to my button-down shirt with both hands. “After all, weren’t you voted Best Carpenter in all of Tennessee by that magazine last month?”

Ryder’s head went back just a little, like he was surprised I’d noticed or mentioned it. “Just East Tennessee,” he growled modestly.

“Still! What an honor! And I don’t think it matters one iota that it’s a free magazine you can pick up in the checkout aisle at the grocery store, or that probably only six people voted, or that you’d probably slept with all of them, so don’t let anyone tell you different.” I beamed at him sunnily. “Your workmanship is… just fine.”

I was mature enough to admit that this was a massive understatement.

I was also immature enough that his narrowed eyes and his frown gave me a hard thrill.

“I merely pointed out that Ruby Granger—who happens to have 1.5 million Instagram followers and a slightly larger reach than the Cumberland County Shopper’s Gazette—probably expects to have her cabinet doors installed at some point before her charity open house in three days. I was being helpful.”

“Would we call it helpful?” Ryder’s cheek twitched like he was fighting a smile, and he pursed those bee sting lips that on someone else—someone less Ryder—would have been sexy as all hell, but on him just looked big and sweet and kissable and… never mind. “’Cause I can’t lie, Kearns. Telling me something I already knew sorta felt like the opposite of helpful.”

“Gracious gravy, no! No, the opposite of helpful would be if I said something like, ‘It’s barely five o’clock, with three days go to before turnover, there’s a ton of work left to do, and only an idiot would let his whole crew go home two hours early.’ The opposite of helpful would be to say, ‘If you’d spent as much time working this afternoon as you did chatting up the party planners and conning them out of baked goods—’” I thrust out a hand toward exhibit A, a giant platter of cupcakes covered in edible gold leaf and silver glitter, which was way more than any one man should be able to consume without sliding into an irreversible carb coma “‘—we might have been done by now.’ See the difference?”

“It’s New Year’s Eve.” Ryder shrugged. “The guys have plans, and the weather’s turning crappy. Besides, it’s not their fault the client wanted custom pink iridescent cabinets for her garish mountain love shack that didn’t get delivered until yesterday. Work ain’t the be-all, end-all, Kearns.”

“It is New Year’s Eve,” I agreed, chin in the air. “And I had plans too. But getting this ‘garish’ work done is the be-all, end-all if I want to be promoted to partner this year.” I used finger quotes to call him out for his snide remark about the decor even though I may have silently agreed it was garish. Not my fault Ruby had horrific taste.


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Liars (Licking Thicket #2) Read Online Lucy Lennox http://www.ilovenovels.com/liars-licking-thicket-2-read-online-lucy-lennox Sun, 01 Nov 2020 20:21:37 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/liars-licking-thicket-2-read-online-lucy-lennox Categories Genre: Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
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Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100070 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
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(Licking Thicket #2) Liars

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

Lucy Lennox
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B08KS4MYWV
Book Information:

Parrish Partridge’s True Facts:
There’s nothing hotter than a tall, gruff, bewildered, tattooed mountain of a man cuddling a sweet, orphaned baby, so you can tell yourself that you’ll resist him...
But that’s a lie.
And when that man asks you to do him a favor and pretend to be his very temporary, very fake fiance to help him get custody of that adorable baby, you can pretend you know better than to say yes…
But that’s a lie, too.
And when you actually get to know your kind, strong, pullet-loving prince of a fiance, and all his crazy, lovable, meddling neighbors, you can tell yourself you’re not really falling for Diesel Church and the town of Licking Thicket…
But that might be the biggest lie of all.
Books in Series:

Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
Books by Author:

Lucy Lennox


Parrish

Mid-August

“There you go, handsome. One license for the new Partridge Pit flagship store.” Brandi, the pretty, forty-something redhead in the planning office at the county courthouse gave me a flirty wink as she handed over my manila folder. “Can’t believe you came all the way out here again, all by yourself, all dressed up in your fancy shirt and tie.” She bit her lip. “I’d think y’all have other folks who can do this sort of thing?”

“Er.” I glanced down at my plain gray shirt and black tie and wondered when they’d become fancy. “Yes, ma’am. I suppose. But my uncle Beau says if you’re gonna do a thing, you should do it right, and he taught me everything I know about business.” I smiled politely. “You might say the flagship store is kind of my baby.”

This was not a lie. My uncle, General Beauregard T. Partridge, the founder and CEO of Partridge Pit BBQ, with its one hundred restaurants and a bestselling line of sauces, really did say that all the time. And he really had put me in charge of the new flagship location we planned to open too, which was why I’d moved my few belongings out of my furnished studio in Nashville and into the Jackson King Bed and Breakfast in tiny Licking Thicket.

But Uncle Beau also said things like, “For the love of Larry, Parrish Partridge, get you an assistant!” and “Work won’t love you back, son,” and “Barbecued chicken won’t keep a man warm at night, Parrish,” and more recently, “Heaven’s sakes, boy, if you don’t find yourself a fella, your aunt Marnie’s gonna do it for you, and then Lord help you both,” so maybe it was sort of dishonest to blame him for my need to dive headfirst into this project. Truth was, Uncle Beau and I had been thinking about this store for months, but I hadn’t been a hundred percent committed until I’d gotten a stupid Facebook message a couple of weeks back and immediately decided my life would be simpler if I left Nashville temporarily—or permanently—and begged Beau to send me down here.

Leaving the state would have been preferable, or possibly signing up for one of those one-way Mars expedition things, but I couldn’t do that to Beau and Marnie.

“And here I thought maybe you were coming out here especially to see me.” Brandi pouted and leaned toward me over the counter. “I was hoping you’d invite me to the new restaurant. I was hoping you’d buy me some tater tots.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

I blinked. Buy her tater tots? Was that some sort of straight-person euphemism for something?

I decided I didn’t want to know.

“Er… No.” I said it gently but also firmly, because honesty was always the best policy. “I mean, I do like you, Brandi. Very much. You’ve been a huge help in getting all this done. But, um…”

“Oh, Parrish.” She laughed merrily and waved a dismissive hand. “You’re a sweetheart. But you need a wife to take care of you, honey, and that’s the truth.”

I shook my head. I didn’t bother addressing the large gay elephant between us, but I did dart a look at the calendar on the counter to confirm that I hadn’t somehow traveled back in time. “No, ma’am. Truth of the matter is, I’m not the type who’ll ever get married. To anyone.”

Not anymore.

And if she didn’t believe me, she could ask my ex-fiancé. Or his new girlfriend.

Brandi set a hand on her hip, instantly morphing from pouty seductress to fond older sister. “That’s what they all say! You’re young yet. Wait and see.”

“Sure,” I agreed, letting her pat my hand as we said goodbye, “I’ll wait and see.” But I knew in my heart there were some mistakes I’d never be tempted to make twice, not when I was totally content with my life the way it was. I had a great job, a supportive family, and a kick-ass vintage red Mustang. What more could I want?

There was a line at the elevator, so I trotted down the back staircase clutching my folder. Four o’clock on a Friday wasn’t the best time to organize a meeting, but if I talked to the contractors tonight, I could—

A bloodcurdling wail echoed through the little stairwell, and I froze for a second, then rushed headlong down the steps two at a time, skidding to a halt halfway down the staircase when I found the source of the sound—a wriggling baby in a fuzzy pink sweater who was literally crying herself purple, possibly because the giant, tattooed mountain of a man holding her was growling down at her with a ferocious scowl on his face.

I gripped my folder tightly and opened my mouth to protest even though the guy was twice my size, when the baby’s cries quieted for half a second and I caught that the man wasn’t growling. He was… singing?


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Fakers (Licking Thicket #1) Read online Lucy Lennox http://www.ilovenovels.com/fakers-licking-thicket-1-read-online-lucy-lennox Sun, 16 Feb 2020 13:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/fakers-read-online-lucy-lennox Categories Genre: M-M Romance, Romance Tags Authors: Series: Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
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Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
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Fakers

Author/Writer of Book/Novel:

Lucy Lennox
Language:
English
ISBN/ ASIN:
B0892N2YDD
Book Information:

Brooks Johnson’s Words To Live By:
When returning to Licking Thicket, TN, for the first time in ten years to reunite with your nosy neighbors, heart-broken ex-girlfriend, and matchmaking mama who never quite believed you were gay, it’s best to bring a fake boyfriend as backup...
Just don’t be surprised when your ex-girlfriend does the same.
And when her incredibly hot fake boyfriend becomes the one island of calm in a sea of bovine-based insanity, it’s best to exercise caution… especially when he pushes you up against the rough barn wall to check you very thoroughly for splinters...
Just don’t be surprised if you fall head-over-hooves in love with him.
Books in Series:

Licking Thicket Series by Lucy Lennox
Books by Author:

Lucy Lennox


1

Brooks

Have you ever seen a train wreck happen in real time?

Yeah, no, me neither.

But then I watched Kale Storms, heir apparent to Storms Marketing, LLC, lean across the glass table in our Midtown Manhattan conference room and fucking purr at our potential client, General Beauregard T. Partridge—the octogenarian founder and CEO of Partridge Pit BBQ, with its ninety-seven dining locations across the South and a brand-new line of specialty sauces—like it was leather night at the club and the General had been a naughty boy.

“So I think you’ll find that what we’ve designed for you here, Mr. Partridge, is something really sleek but also raw. Something fresh but also classic. Something sexy that also encapsulates the inherent impotence and mortality in all of us. Something that’s going to elevate your barbecue sauce from a humble condiment people slap on grilled flesh into something better.” Kale’s lips pouted and his eyes smoldered. “I think you know what I mean by that, Mr. Partridge. I think you’re ready for the sexy. And I think you want it.”

As I sat in my chair, momentarily paralyzed, I suddenly had the distinct impression I was watching that train wreck from inside the fucking train.

Putting Kale in the lead on this project had been a shit idea from the get-go, and I’d told Pamela so. “He’s twenty-three,” I’d reminded her. “Enthusiastic and full of potential but green. You know? And Storms Marketing has a reputation to uphold.”

This was Brooks Johnson speak for “Holy fucking shitballs, Pamela! What were you thinking, giving this ginormous opportunity to your idiot nephew, who has approximately the same IQ as the leafy green he was named after? And furthermore, how could you do this without talking to me, the guy who’s spent the last five years as your right-hand man, helping you build the solid reputation Kale’s about to toss in a dumpster and set on fire?”

But Pamela had brushed an imaginary fleck of lint from her fitted blouse and smiled her Botox smile. “We all have to start somewhere, Brooks, darling. You were an absolute prodigy at twenty-three, remember? Besides, Kale has you for a mentor, so I’m confident nothing will go wrong.”

Which, I happened to know, was Pam Storms speak for “Yes, I know he’s a total fuckup, but I gave you a chance once upon a time, Brooks, so you owe me. You’d better make damn sure nothing goes wrong.”

And I’d tried. I’d really, really tried.

I’d offered Kale help brainstorming concepts. He’d given me a patronizing smile and said brainstorming stifled his creativity.

I’d suggested he loop in Paul Siegel, the senior marketing communications director and my second-in-command. Kale had informed me he’d “hired his own team, Brooks. Fresh blood. People who really know advertising”—which was infuriating on many levels, but primarily the financial one, since I happened to know Storms Marketing didn’t have anywhere near the kind of budget “fresh blood” cost.

I’d insisted on seeing his mock-ups. He’d refused.

I’d threatened to go to his aunt. He’d ignored me.

I’d been ready to hack Kale’s laptop to get the info, when Paul reminded me that I had no clue how to do that. “Besides,” he’d said reasonably, pushing his glasses up his nose, “how bad could his presentation really be, Brooks?”

Watching Beauregard Partridge’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush pink beneath his white-white hair as Kale reminded him of his impotence and mortality, I could confidently say it was pretty fucking bad.

I lifted one eyebrow at Paul across the table. He winced and rubbed his forehead below his receding hairline, and I knew we were thinking the same thing: How the hell is Brooks going to fix this?

But I would. It was what I did. I smiled and I was polite, I never argued or let anyone down, I tap-danced like a fucking champion, and I made shit happen.

It was how I’d gotten the scholarship that had gotten me out of my tiny, ridiculous town. It was how I’d landed a job right out of college and worked my way through grad school. It was how I’d become Pamela’s VP before I’d turned twenty-five. It was how I was going to save up enough money to start my own agency within the next seven years. Once I had a goal, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t sacrifice to make it happen, so somehow I was going to fix this too.

I cleared my throat and moved to hijack the meeting when Kale turned off the lights and hit Play on the ultramodern wall projector. The room was suddenly filled with a terrible screeching of birds, and glowing, stylized letters on the screen spelled out Plate of Bones… Flavor is Coming.

Oh. My. God.

Scratch pretty fucking bad. Try epically terrible.

I slumped back in my seat, and the next three minutes passed by like a sort of black-and-white Stanley Kubrick fever dream. I had vague impressions of a Throne of Iron made out of forks and knives, of a tablecloth saying House Partridge with a stylized chicken logo in the center, and of a psychopathic-looking guy slurping reddish sauce—which did not look like sauce—off his fingers.


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