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		<title>Raw (RAW Family #1) Read Online Belle Aurora</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/raw-raw-family-1-read-online-belle-aurora</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Mar 2021 09:11:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Angst]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bad Boy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mafia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Belle Aurora]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.booksnovels.com/raw-raw-family-1-read-online-belle-aurora</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/angst" rel="category tag">Angst</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male/bad-boy" rel="category tag">Bad Boy</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/mafia" rel="category tag">Mafia</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/belle-aurora" rel="tag">Belle Aurora</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>108<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>103753 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=108'>108</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Raw (RAW Family #1)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora Books</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>ISBN/ ASIN:</strong></td>    <td><h6>B00HNG4AB4</h6></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
***Author Note: This is not a love story. This is a story of love gone wrong.***<br />
Growing up the way I did, you’d think I’d be more screwed up than what I actually am. Soon as I turned sixteen, I left that bump in the road I called home and took my chances on the street.<br />
Best decision I ever made. Now, at the age of twenty six, I’m educated, employed and damn good at my job.<br />
My friends have become my family. Like me, they know what it’s like to grow up unloved. But the saying is true.<br />
The world makes way for those who know where they are going. That’s me.<br />
I know where I’m going and I’ll get there eventually. On my own terms and at my own pace. But then there’s him.<br />
I feel his eyes on me. I see him hiding in plain sight. He watches me. He makes me feel.<br />
It’s unconventional. But it’s real.<br />
I’m sure you’re wondering how a person falls in love with their stalker. So am I.<br />
This isn’t a story.<br />
This is my life.<br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>Twenty years ago…<br><br>I can hear them again.<br />
<br />
My neighbors are fighting. The little boy screams for him to stop.<br />
<br />
I kneel down by my window. Closing my eyes tight, I cover my ears and sing to myself.<br />
<br />
I don’t like it.<br />
<br />
Then, nothing.<br />
<br />
I listen hard, then uncover my ears.<br />
<br />
Turning around, I stand a little, peek over the edge of the window, and see him walking fast by the side of my house. He stumbles, falls, and crawls out of my sight.<br />
<br />
He’s hurt.<br />
<br />
My heart races.<br />
<br />
I could get in a lot of trouble. Daddy would be real mad.<br />
<br />
Kneeling down out of sight for a moment, I stand quickly and creep to the doorframe.<br />
<br />
I listen. Hard.<br />
<br />
The TV plays and I hear him snore.<br />
<br />
Hope ignites.<br />
<br />
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I sneak into the kitchen. Getting a chair from the small dining table, I stand on it and reach for the top shelf.<br />
<br />
I get what I need, slide the chair back in, and make my way to the back door.<br />
<br />
My hand reaches for the knob, grips it tight, then…I still.<br />
<br />
I could get in a lot of trouble for this.<br />
<br />
My heart beats out of my chest.<br />
<br />
Turning the knob, it squeaks a little, and fear washes over me. Stopping, I turn it so slowly that it takes forever to make the rotation.<br />
<br />
Finally, I feel the latch click over, and I pull the door open. Taking off my slippers, I put them in between the door and frame so the door can’t close.<br />
<br />
Barefoot and dressed only in my white nightie, I tread softly through the backyard, the soft grass cold under my feet, following the sound of the heavy breathing and soft crying.<br />
<br />
Finding him at the back of the property line under a tree, I see him cover his face with his hands. His body shakes.<br />
<br />
Even hidden away in the dark, he doesn’t want anyone to see his tears.<br />
<br />
He’s trying to be strong.<br />
<br />
My heart hurts.<br />
<br />
Slowly walking closer, I step on a twig. It breaks, and his face snaps up to look at me.<br />
<br />
Jumping up like a jack in the box, he yells out, “Get away from me.”<br />
<br />
Not coming any closer, I put down my supplies and whisper, “You’re hurt.”<br />
<br />
He watches me carefully, looking between the things I’ve brought and my face, as if searching for some hint of this being a joke.<br />
<br />
He scowls and says quietly, “I’m always hurt.”<br />
<br />
Even in the dark, I see the hatred in his eyes. It shines bright as day.<br />
<br />
I see his cheek become darker. Stepping forward with wide eyes, I tell him, “You’re bleeding.”<br />
<br />
Reaching up to his cheek, he touches the wound with his fingertips, pulls it away, then looks at his blood. He rubs it between his thumb and middle finger slowly. Caressing the blood, as if in apology.<br />
<br />
I stutter, “I- I can help you.”<br />
<br />
Lifting his cold eyes to me, he spits, “No one can help me.”<br />
<br />
He can’t boss me around.<br />
<br />
Placing a hand on my hip, I glare at him and whisper-hiss, “I could get into a lot of trouble. My daddy would be real mad. And…and I came to help you.” Suddenly scared for myself, I say a hushed, “Please, let me help you.”<br />
<br />
I need to get back inside before my dad finds out I’m not in bed.<br />
<br />
My face must show my fear because his posture relaxes a little, and he asks, “Why would you help me then?”<br />
<br />
I’m not sure.<br />
<br />
I shrug. “You’re hurt.”<br />
<br />
“No one else cares if I’m hurt.”<br />
<br />
My heart races.<br />
<br />
I whisper, “I do.”<br />
<br />
We stand there, staring at each other a long time.<br />
<br />
Finally, he comes closer to me and asks, “What’s your name?”<br />
<br />
“Alexa. Alexa Ballentine.”<br />
<br />
He nods, but says nothing.<br />
<br />
“What’s your name?”<br />
<br />
He kicks at a stone. “Doesn’t matter. You’ll forget it once I’m gone.”<br />
<br />
My stomach aches. I need to know his name.<br />
<br />
Stepping closer, I promise, “No, I won’t.”<br />
<br />
Lifting his head, he runs a hand through his messy brown hair to keep it out of his face. He watches me a second more before he utters, “Antonio Falco.”<br />
<br />
I want to say it’s nice to meet him, but it doesn’t feel right.<br />
<br />
Shuffling around from foot to foot, I ask, “How old are you?”<br />
<br />
He leans back on the tree trunk. “Eight.”<br />
<br />
He seems older to me.<br />
<br />
He asks, “How old are you?”<br />
<br />
“Six.” Pause. “I’ll be seven soon,” I lie.<br />
<br />
His brow furrows. “You look older.”<br />
<br />
Wow. I just thought the same thing about him.<br />
<br />
Not thinking, I blurt out, “Why does your daddy hurt you?”<br />
<br />
His jaw steels and he explains, “He’s my step-dad.”<br />
<br />
Hearing a noise in the house, I turn, and my eyes widen in terror. Turning back to Antonio, I whisper, “Please let me help you.”<br />
<br />
Lowering his eyes, he murmurs, “Okay.”<br />
<br />
Relief and joy swirl through my body.<br />
<br />
He steps forward into the moonlight and I gasp. The top of his cheek is gaping.<br />
<br />
I swallow hard, trying not to be sick.<br />
<br />
Taking some cotton and antiseptic, I warn, “This smelly stuff stings.”<br />
<br />
But when I dab it on his wound, he doesn’t even flinch. His eyes never leave mine.<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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<div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=108'>108</a></div>


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							<content:encoded><![CDATA[
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
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		<title>Dirty (RAW Family #2) Read Online Belle Aurora</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/dirty-raw-family-2-read-online-belle-aurora</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Mar 2021 09:11:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Angst]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bad Boy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mafia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Belle Aurora]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.booksnovels.com/dirty-raw-family-2-read-online-belle-aurora</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/angst" rel="category tag">Angst</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male/bad-boy" rel="category tag">Bad Boy</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/mafia" rel="category tag">Mafia</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/belle-aurora" rel="tag">Belle Aurora</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>145<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>136731 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=145'>145</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Dirty (RAW Family #2)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora Books</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>ISBN/ ASIN:</strong></td>    <td><h6>9780994371027</h6></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
My marriage seemed perfect from the outside looking in. People envied me. They wanted my life, wanted to be me.<br />
Mrs Alejandra Gambino. Wife of Dino Gambino. Daughter of Eduardo Castillo. Respected. Loved. Mob royalty.<br />
They had no idea of the horrors that lurked behind closed doors. They didn't know I was at the lowest point a person could reach.<br />
Enter Julius Carter. Aloof, handsome, blue-eyed Julius Carter.<br />
He saved me. I screwed him over.<br />
Now everybody was after me. My life was forfeit. It was only a matter of time. I was a dead woman walking.<br />
The question was, who would get to me first?<br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>I was confused.<br />
<br />
At least, I remember being confused.<br />
<br />
Being called away from school to join my father in the office is not a good thing. The office is where he conducts business. I have been there before, but it is no place for a girl like me, or so he says.<br />
<br />
The hall somehow looks longer than it ever has before. I walk it not knowing what to expect, clutching my schoolbag to me tightly.<br />
<br />
Have I done something wrong? Why did he sound so tense on the phone?<br />
<br />
My feet shuffle forward. I swallow hard, looking down at my shoes. My shoelace is undone.<br />
<br />
He won’t like that.<br />
<br />
I stop where I am to make sure my appearance is near perfect, running my fingers through my long, straight black hair and smoothing my hands over the skirt of my private school uniform. I take my time, pulling my white socks up to my knees and being careful not to mark them.<br />
<br />
My father didn’t raise a pack of animals. He raised ladies, and in my brother’s case, a gentleman.<br />
<br />
My siblings and I pride ourselves on being everything my father wished for. The only mob family with grace and humility, I’m sure.<br />
<br />
At eighteen, I know my place. My place is to make my father happy. And I do.<br />
<br />
At least, I think I do. So far, there have been no complaints.<br />
<br />
I study hard to maintain an A average. I dress appropriately, never showing too much skin, and I watch over my younger sisters with love and care, molding them into the ladies they should be. Even I have to admit I’m a decent person, and I love my family.<br />
<br />
There are six of us in total. In order of age, there’s Miguel who is twenty-four, myself, Veronica who is sixteen, Carmen who is fifteen, Patricia who is thirteen, and Rosa who is only nine. She was the last of us, born only a year before Mama died. I know Rosa doesn’t remember her. I also know it hurts her. She has photos like the rest of us do, but it’s not enough.<br />
<br />
My mother’s name was Dorina, affectionately known as Dori to anyone she liked. She met my father when they were both just kids, running around, playing on the street. He threw dirt in her face. Instead of crying like the other girls had, she’d simply stood and shook the dirt off her. She walked home that day and told her mama about the silly boy who threw dirt at her. Her mother, my grandmother, laughed joyously and hugged her little girl. She explained, “Oh, gatito, boys are funny in the way they do things. And the worse they treat a girl usually means the more they like them.”<br />
<br />
Mama heard this and was set.<br />
<br />
She was going to marry that boy.<br />
<br />
Fourteen years later, Mama became Mrs. Eduardo Castillo. They lived happily for the length of my mother’s life. She was the only woman in the world who could make my father laugh. He loved her so much that when she died, he mourned. And it scared the crap out of me.<br />
<br />
My father is a reasonable man, but something changed during his mourning period. He became colder, more closed off. He started to shut us out.<br />
<br />
The only person who can make him see reason is my brother, Miguel.<br />
<br />
As I reach the office door, I knock lightly with a shaking hand.<br />
<br />
“Come in,” calls a familiar voice.<br />
<br />
My brother? My body turns rigid. What is he doing here? He shouldn’t be here.<br />
<br />
Pushing the door open, I step inside and quietly close the door behind me. I walk to stand in front of the desk my father sits at, but look up at my brother, who stands emotionless behind my father. I haven’t seen him in a year. He looks good. Papa holds a hand at his forehead. He has yet to acknowledge me. I spare a sweet smile for my brother. When he doesn’t return it, my chest aches and Miguel catches my hurt. His eyes turn soft and apologetic.<br />
<br />
He looks like he’s about to cry.<br />
<br />
It’s here I’d like to note that the men in my family don’t cry.<br />
<br />
When my father lifts his face, my skin prickles at the look in his eyes. There is something there I haven’t seen before. Something calculating.<br />
<br />
I know Papa isn’t a good man, but he is good to us. He’s a family man. He would do anything for us.<br />
<br />
He would kill for us.<br />
<br />
In fact, I know he has.<br />
<br />
I clear my throat and ask gently, “Papa? Is everything okay?”<br />
<br />
Surprised at my own ability to hide the quiver in my voice, I stand taller, feigning my calm. My father looks me in the eye. I haven’t noticed till now how much he’s aged since Mama died. The lines in his tanned face have deepened so much that he looks ten years older than his fifty years. The dark skin under his eyes seems as though he mustn’t have slept in months. But the laugh lines around his eyes… they’re gone.<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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		<title>Raw: Rebirth Read Online Belle Aurora (RAW Family #3)</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/raw-rebirth-3-read-online-belle-aurora</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Oct 2017 01:57:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suspense]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Belle Aurora]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/raw-rebirth-3-read-online-belle-aurora</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/suspense" rel="category tag">Suspense</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/belle-aurora" rel="tag">Belle Aurora</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>178<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>170884 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=178'>178</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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﻿<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Raw Rebirth (RAW Family #3)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
It had been six years since my world was turned upside down. He exposed me to the darker side of life and I could never go back to the person I was. I had been through more things the average person couldn’t even relate to.<br />
If I had the chance to go back and do things differently though? Not a chance.<br />
I’d pick him a thousand times. A million times. For eternity.<br />
I guess not much has changed.<br />
My name is Alexa Ballentine, and I am still in love with my stalker. <br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/raw-family-series-by-belle-aurora">RAW Family Series by Belle Aurora</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/belle-aurora">Belle Aurora Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>Prologue<br><br>A.J.<br />
<br />
A.J. was a smart boy. He was only five years old but knew the value of a secret.<br />
<br />
He didn't like keeping secrets from his mum, and when he asked her if it was okay to lie, she told him it was never okay to be dishonest.<br />
<br />
It didn't make sense.<br />
<br />
A.J. had heard his mother lie before.<br />
<br />
Why was she able to lie when he wasn't?<br />
<br />
His mother explained that sometimes people told lies to stop another person from being sad, and these were called “little white lies.”<br />
<br />
A.J. thought about this.<br />
<br />
His secret would hurt his mum, he'd been told, so it wasn't really a lie, he thought.<br />
<br />
Keeping his secret was more a “little white lie.” As his mother tucked him in to bed, he smiled up at her. "I love you," he told her, and he meant it.<br />
<br />
His mother's smile softened. "I love you more, honey," she responded quietly as she ran gentle fingers through his messy hair.<br />
<br />
She blew him a kiss as she left his room, turning off the light and closing the door behind her.<br />
<br />
A.J. lay in his bed, awake and waiting.<br />
<br />
He wasn't sure how long he waited, but when he heard the window rattle then lift in excruciating slowness, he smiled excitedly.<br />
<br />
His little white lie was here.<br />
<br />
Daddy was home.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Lexi<br />
<br />
“Mummy?”<br />
<br />
I heard him. How could I not?<br />
<br />
But I continued to drive in silence. I wasn’t really in the mood for conversation; however, the little monster in the back seat had other ideas.<br />
<br />
My chest felt heavy, weighed down.<br />
<br />
What a day.<br />
<br />
Everything felt tight. My insides, my jaw, my grip on the steering wheel. Even my eyes felt tightly fixated on the road. But that wasn’t A.J.’s fault, and I wouldn’t let him know I felt like I was dying on the inside.<br />
<br />
A sigh left me.<br />
<br />
Daddy Day was never a good day for me.<br />
<br />
“Yeah, honey?”<br />
<br />
He didn’t answer for a long while, and when a frown tipped my brow and I glanced back at him through the rearview mirror, his eyes were fixed on me, unblinking.<br />
<br />
My heart ached as I looked into his soft brown eyes.<br />
<br />
His father’s eyes.<br />
<br />
Well, shit.<br />
<br />
My nose began to tingle. And just like that, fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. I swiped at them quickly and blinked rapidly, trying in vain to quell the familiar sting of sadness.<br />
<br />
Jesus Christ. Get a grip.<br />
<br />
My son, he didn’t like to see me upset. His voice was little over a whisper and near desperate. “Don’t cry, Mummy.” His voice steeled, and he muttered, “I don’t like it.”<br />
<br />
I heard his daddy in those hardened words.<br />
<br />
Ugh. He was killing me.<br />
<br />
We drew to a stop at a set of traffic lights and I took my hands off the wheel, looking back and forcing a smile. I spoke softly, almost pacifying. “Sorry, bud.”<br />
<br />
It was his father’s birthday, and we were driving home from the cemetery. Every single time I saw that gleaming white marble headstone, it took me back to a time I chose to remember, when I would be better off forgetting. That time so long ago, yet so vividly fresh in my memories. No matter how much time passed, I was stuck there, in that time. In a place where I was wild and careless and in the arms of the man I loved.<br />
<br />
Make no mistake about it. I was dangerously in love.<br />
<br />
Recklessly in love.<br />
<br />
The lights turned green and I twisted back, driving on, once again gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline. We were halfway home before I realized I was driving on autopilot, not at all paying any attention to my surroundings.<br />
<br />
My heart lurched in apprehension. I swallowed hard and shook my head in a poor attempt to snap myself out of my stupor.<br />
<br />
Maybe conversation wasn’t such a bad idea after all. “How about we go to the grocery store, get a bunch of junk food, and watch a movie tonight?”<br />
<br />
The wide smile on my face was genuine then. There was only one man in my life, and he glued my heart together with mud, giggles, and drawings crafted with crayon and love.<br />
<br />
A.J. smiled, my toothless monster, but as quickly as it came, it went. “What day is it?”<br />
<br />
I stalled.<br />
<br />
Umm...<br />
<br />
I couldn’t help my quiet laughter.<br />
<br />
What a question?<br />
<br />
Amused bewilderment stunned me and my brows rose. “Uh...” I tried to quell the urge to laugh again. “Sunday.”<br />
<br />
He blinked down at his lap before looking back at me through the mirror. He shook his head before staring out the window. “No, thank you.”<br />
<br />
Confusion marred my brow.<br />
<br />
Huh?<br />
<br />
He was passing up junk food? Since when?<br />
<br />
I didn’t want to push, but I was slow to realize I needed time with my son, today more than ever. I was going to have to sweeten the pot. “Maybe we could stay up really late, sleep in, and then go out for pancakes tomorrow.”<br />
<br />
Ooh. I smiled inwardly.<br />
<br />
He looked tempted.<br />
<br />
“What about school?”<br />
<br />
Did he even know me? I was a cool mom. What was one day of missing school to bond with my son? “Forget about it. I’ll tell them you’re sick.”<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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