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	<title>The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn &#8211; Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read</title>
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		<title>Obsession Read online Ann Mayburn (Cordova Empire #1)</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/obsession-1-read-online-ann-mayburn</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jul 2018 13:57:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ann Mayburn]]></category>
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			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/ann-mayburn" rel="tag">Ann Mayburn</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>115<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>106948 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>535(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=115'>115</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Obsession (The Cordova Empire #1)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
Hannah<br />
All my life, I’ve only wanted one thing: someone to love me and someone who will let me love them in return. This seems like a simple request, but I was born to parents who wished I had died of childhood leukemia, instead of my younger sister, and who have ignored me no matter how much I’ve tried to please them. I’m starved for affection, addicted to the feeling when someone cares about me, which has led to a love life filled with either boys I’ve scared off, or men all too eager to take advantage of me. I thought I would never find a man who could feed my craving for constant attention—and then I met Leo. He fills the void inside of me, haunts my dreams, and does things to me in bed that are so good, they’re probably illegal. I can only pray I don’t scare him off once he figures out just how needy I really am.<br />
<br />
Leo<br />
There are very few people in this world I’ve ever been able to form an emotional attachment to, but the moment I saw Hannah, I knew she was mine. We were bound together by fate, our paths crossing first as children, then as adults, each time marking me. She doesn’t know it but I’ve been watching her for a year now, studying her, stacking the deck so when I do make my move, there’s no way she’ll ever escape me. But my world is a harsh, cruel place, and the cartel I work for demands absolute loyalty and trust…a loyalty Hannah has yet to earn in the dangerous eyes of my employers. There is only one way to ensure Hannah’s absolute devotion, and I hope that she doesn’t hate me forever when she finds out that not only have I brainwashed her into loving me, but that I don’t feel an ounce of guilt about doing it. She’s mine, only mine, and I’m keeping her forever.<br />
<br />
Warning: This story features a rough and demanding Dom who’s completely devoted to bringing his baby girl pleasure through such unconventional means as spanking, mild BDSM, D/S, roleplaying, and various other forms of wicked kinkery.<br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is and loving him for it.<br />
<br />
~Jim Morrison<br><br>Prologue<br><br>Leo – Age Eighteen<br />
<br />
Tucson, Arizona<br><br>There are few emotions that I experience with any intensity, and fewer still that are what ordinary people would consider “nice”, but of those occasional bouts of negative feelings I have to endure, sorrow is by far the worst. Once it sinks its poisoned claws into you, it debilitates your body, steals your will to function, drains your life, and leaves you hollowed out and blistered raw inside. The only thing I’ve found to combat the choking depression of sorrow is violence, but my grief at this point is so absolute I couldn’t fathom anything but pain.<br />
<br />
Usually I’d be multi-tasking, touching base with the various members of the cartel I belonged to as we went about our daily business and shit like that. But with my mother dying in a room not too far from me in this barren medical wasteland, I could barely function enough to breathe.<br />
<br />
My sweet, gentle, kind mother, who always smelled like cherries and vanilla, was pumped full of strangers’ blood in a vain attempt to keep her heart beating and replace the liters she’d lost as I’d held her in my arms, trying in vain to stop the bleeding as she clung to me with the last of her strength.<br />
<br />
Guilt and sorrow battled for supremacy in my chest, my lungs tight with the need to cry out against the injustice of it all.<br />
<br />
If it wasn’t for my mother’s unending patience and kindness, her generous nature, I may have grown up having no idea what it felt like to care for another person, to have any form of compassion. If that had happened, I’m sure I would have become a monstrosity in the truest sense of the word. Instead, I’ve managed to channel my taste for the high violence gives me into a profession that had, ever so briefly, given my mom the kind of life she’d always dreamed of.<br />
<br />
Tears burned my nose, but I turned my head up to the ceiling and closed my eyes, willing them away.<br />
<br />
My dad had died not long after I was born, and my difficulties with processing the world like everyone else would be a challenge to anyone, let alone a single mother with only a high school education. Still, she’d always been there for me, helping me understand people and their emotional motivations like an interpreter translating a foreign language. It was through her that I learned to mimic the unspoken rules of our society, how to blend in. At least as much as I could ever blend in. I’m one of those people you look at and just know something is wrong, different. Nothing overt, nothing you can put your finger on, but when people meet my gaze, some animal part of their brain screams that I’m dangerous.<br />
<br />
And I am. I carried within me the ability to do great violence without balking. If I had any respect for authority, I might have gone into the military; they tried to recruit me, but I had other plans. In the rough neighborhood I’d grown up in, violence was a fact of life and boys aspired to work for the biggest drug cartels, not the government. It was survival of the fittest, and I was born a predator, so it didn’t take me long to move up through the ranks, even when I’d joined the Cordova cartel at the tender age of fifteen.<br />
<br />
I’d grown up poor, but over the last few years had managed to move us into a decent house north of Tucson, the result of my working for the Cordova cartel as one of their enforcers. Turns out they had a use for a man of my talents, and while being sadistic would never serve me in the world occupied by offices and people standing in never-ending lines, it did allow me to flourish in the deep underbelly of society. The money was good, but the release of tension I felt after killing someone was even better, and because of my willingness to do gruesome work without a blink, for the first time in her life, my mom didn’t have to work two jobs to support us.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, my activities had blown back on me—and my mother had paid the price. Someone had done a drive-by on our house and she’d been standing directly in the line of fire, getting ready to go bowling with her girlfriends.<br />
<br />
She’d been so excited to show off the two-carat diamond pendant I’d gotten her for her birthday, hadn’t been able to stop touching and admiring it. She had to have known my money wasn’t legal, but she allowed me to think she bought my lie about working as an errand boy for a local construction company the cartel owned. My mom was brutally practical, and I’m sure she knew better than anyone I wasn’t meant for the nine-to-five world.<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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							<content:encoded><![CDATA[
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
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		<title>Sweetest Obsession Read online Ann Mayburn (Cordova Empire #2)</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/sweetest-obsession-2-read-online-ann-mayburn</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jul 2018 01:57:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Erotic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ann Mayburn]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/sweetest-obsession-2-read-online-ann-mayburn</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/ann-mayburn" rel="tag">Ann Mayburn</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>124<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>116046 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>580(@200wpm)___ 464(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=124'>124</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Sweetest Obsession (The Cordova Empire #2)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
This is a STANDALONE insta-obsession erotic romance set in the Cordova Empire series (no cheating-HEA-no cliffhanger.<br />
<br />
Ramon<br />
In my family, there’s an old story going back generations about love at first sight. I used to think it was a fairytale, until I met my sweet Joy. The more I got to know her, the more I wanted her. But the world of the cartels is a dangerous place, so I watched her from afar, wishing things were different and I could claim her for my own. Despite my best efforts to keep her safe, evil found Joy. After she endured a savage beating at the hands of a rival cartel, I vowed to do everything in my power to make her mine and win her heart. I can only pray that when she finds out the truth about me, and the things I’ve done to bind her to me forever, that she’ll be able to love the monster I really am.<br />
<br />
Joy<br />
Without a doubt, Ramon Cordova is one of the biggest jerks I’ve ever met. He’s egotistical, bossy, and seems to know how to push all my buttons. Too bad he’s also sinfully handsome, utterly charming when he wants to be, and is the only man I feel safe with. After the attack, I’ve become afraid of the world outside of my home—afraid of crowds, afraid of loud noises, afraid of everything. When I’m in Ramon’s strong arms, those fears melt away. I know there’s a darkness inside of him that he tries to hide, and I’m afraid that when I finally find out the secrets he’s been keeping, he’ll destroy what’s left of my battered heart<br />
<br />
Dark(ish) Erotic Romantic Suspense<br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>Prologue<br><br>The leathery-skinned guard manning the little white booth behind the elaborate black iron gates looked from me, to my license, and back again with far more scrutiny than I think the situation warranted. His bushy grey and black brows furrowed as he spoke softly into the microphone strapped to the shoulder of his uniform. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it was in Spanish, and he was kind of creeping me out. Usually, the booths at gated communities were manned by lazy rent-a-cops, but this guy reminded me more of someone you’d see guarding a military base. He was one hundred percent no-bullshit and obviously regarded me as someone unworthy to pass through the flowering desert cactus lined gates.<br />
<br />
“I look different with my hair down,” I smiled at the guard holding up my license and comparing it to me, trying to appear harmless.<br />
<br />
Ignoring me, he looked down at something inside the booth and spoke into his mic while shooting me a quick glance. I forced what I hoped was a sweet smile, and he grimaced in return. Okay, maybe trying to look sweet when I was inwardly fuming wasn’t the best idea. I’d had a couple hours to stew over the injustice of this situation during the drive from Phoenix to Sedona, and my already hot temper was at a slow boil.<br />
<br />
If there was one thing I hated, it was being taken advantage of.<br />
<br />
He slid the window between us shut while still holding my license. I was tempted to bang on the glass and yell at him to let me through, but that probably wasn’t the best way to handle this situation. My twenty-year-old silver Honda Civic—one year younger than me—gave a hard rattle and my gaze darted to the dashboard. I wondered, again, if taking a car with over two-hundred thousand miles for a drive through the desert was such a great idea. Without looking away from the guard shack and the guy still examining my ID, I gave the sun-bleached dash a little pat, mentally encouraging my ride to keep on chugging.<br />
<br />
Normally I didn’t drive outside the greater Phoenix area, other than to go back home to Tucson, but desperate times called for desperate measures.<br />
<br />
Finally, the window slid open again. The uniformed guard leaned out, handing me my ID back with an impassive expression. “Thank you for your patience, Ms. Holtz. If you’ll follow the drive up to the main house, Mrs. Roja is expecting you. Just park out front.”<br />
<br />
I gave him a toothy smile with no warmth. “Thanks.”<br />
<br />
As the mammoth wrought iron gates smoothly slid open, I put my car into gear and eased up the long, winding asphalt drive that led to a massive Mediterranean style home perched on the edge of a big hill, dominating the red stone landscape. The entire property was gorgeous and well maintained, like celebrity homes you’d see on TV.<br />
<br />
I knew Jacob’s family had money, but not this kind of money.<br />
<br />
Growing up in wealth like this would certainly explain his ‘entitled little shit’ behavior.<br />
<br />
The nervous clench of my stomach increased. I was sure that, if I touched my abs, I’d find them rock hard with tension, something they never were. Nope, I was a curvy girl, about thirty pounds over my ‘ideal weight’ as my doctor liked to put it, and soft all over. It wasn’t that I was lazy and sat around eating crap all day. I was pretty active and tried not to pig out too much, but my body held onto those extra thirty pounds like my life depended on it. No amount of dieting seemed to make a difference. Thankfully, most of that weight was distributed between my breasts and ass. But my belly always had a pooch, no matter how many salads I ate, and the last time my thighs didn’t touch when I walked was when I was ten.<br />
<br />
The landscaping was beautiful, all done to compliment the desert surrounding the driveway, with big cactuses and flowering succulents brightening the red rock boulders surrounding the house. Overhead, the clear sky burned an impossibly bright blue and I was thankful the weather seemed to be at lease twenty degrees cooler here. Back home in Phoenix, I baked anytime I was outside and longed for the days when I had nothing better to do than hang out in my parent’s backyard and swim in our small, aboveground pool.<br />
<br />
What I wouldn’t give for a dip right now—but, no, my moral compass demanded I address injustice immediately. Instead of sleeping in on Saturday morning, like any sane person with my busy schedule would, I decided to get up at the butt crack of dawn and drive my ass north. I had to be crazy if I was willing to sacrifice the one day I had to myself and waste thirty dollars in gas for the trip, all because some punk ass little spoiled rich kid lied to me.<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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							<content:encoded><![CDATA[
]]></content:encoded>
					
		
		
			</item>
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		<title>Secret Obsession Read online Ann Mayburn (The Cordova Empire #3)</title>
		<link>http://www.ilovenovels.com/secret-obsession-3-read-online-ann-mayburn</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[testblog]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Jul 2018 13:57:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Alpha Male]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BDSM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dark]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ann Mayburn]]></category>
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			<span class="cat-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Categories </span>Genre: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/alpha-male" rel="category tag">Alpha Male</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic/bdsm" rel="category tag">BDSM</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/dark" rel="category tag">Dark</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/erotic" rel="category tag">Erotic</a>, <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/genre/romance" rel="category tag">Romance</a></span> <span class="tags-links"><span class="screen-reader-text">Tags </span>Authors: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/authors/ann-mayburn" rel="tag">Ann Mayburn</a></span> <span class="cat-links">Series: <a href="http://www.ilovenovels.com/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></span><br />	
	
	
	
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<div class='book-details-pages-words'><strong>Total pages in book: </strong>94<br /><strong>Estimated words: </strong>88447 (not accurate)<br /><strong>Estimated Reading Time in minutes: </strong>442(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm) <br /></div><div class='pagination-custom-post-pages'><a href='#'><<<</a><a href='#'><</a><a href='#' class='active'>1</a><a href='?mypage=2'>2</a><a href='?mypage=3'>3</a><a href='?mypage=11'>11</a><a href='?mypage=21'>21</a><a href='?mypage=2'>></a><a href='?mypage=94'>94</a></div>	
	
	
	
	

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<table id="bookdetailstable">  <tr>    <th><h2>Read Online Books/Novels:</h2></th>    <th><h2>Secret Obsession (The Cordova Empire #3)</h2></th>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><h4>Author/Writer of Book/Novel:</h4></td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>Language:</strong></td>    <td><h5>English</h5></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td><strong>ISBN/ ASIN:</strong></td>    <td><h6>B07VJ8PMX5</h6></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><strong>Book Information:</strong></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td colspan="2"><br />
Layla<br />
From the moment of my birth I’ve been rejected by those who should have loved me, labeled as a freak because of my birthmark, bullied and tormented because I look different. When you’re told every day that you’re ugly and worthless you start to believe it. I managed to escape my malicious family and build a life for myself, but they’d broken something inside of me. I’m afraid to go outside, afraid to be around large groups of people, afraid of any type of confrontation and my panic attacks have left me pretty much house bound. If it wasn’t for my online friends I probably would have given up on life long ago. But there is one special friend, a man by the name of Mark, who keeps me going. He’s brave, smart, strong, and kind…and has no idea that I’m secretly in love with him.<br />
<br />
Mark<br />
Once I was a good man with a perfect life. I had a job I loved training dogs for the police with my wife, had a great family who filled our lives with laughter, and I woke up every day with a smile on my face. I was completely content in my blissful ignorance. I had no idea about the criminal world that thrived all around me, no idea that I’d made some powerful enemies who do anything to destroy me. Including killing my wife. I swore my revenge, and got it, but in the process I lost my soul. It was during these dark times, after my vengeance was fulfilled and I was drifting in anguish, that a beautiful soul rescued me from my own personal hell. I tried to keep my distance, tried to shield her from the villains of the world, myself included, but the evil that surrounds me wouldn’t be denied. Despite my best attempts to keep her safe, someone is out to destroy Layla, and I’m the only one who can protect her. But who’s going to save her from me?<br />
<br />
Author's Note- Each book in the Cordova Empire series can be read as a stand alone, but for the most enjoyment I'd suggest reading them in order. <br />
  </td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books in Series:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/series/the-cordova-empire-series-by-ann-mayburn">The Cordova Empire Series by Ann Mayburn</a></h3></td>  </tr>  <tr>    <td>Books by Author:</td>    <td><h3><a href="/authors/ann-mayburn">Ann Mayburn Books</a></h3></td>  </tr></table><br><br>Chapter 1<br><br>Mark<br><br>Three years ago<br />
<br />
A slight vibration shook the smoky, mirrored walls surrounding me while I stared at the closed elevator doors. My gaze darted up as the lights embedded in the shiny gold ceiling flickered. After another brief dimming, they held steady when we stopped at one of the floors on our way down. People got on, people got off, but I couldn’t care less. Normally, I’d study every person that breeched my personal space.<br />
<br />
Looking for my enemies everywhere I went.<br />
<br />
Today, I stared at the display above the door, watching as the pale blue digital numbers counted down from thirty-eight. My mind was dazed, and my thoughts floated like poisonous bubbles inside the razor-sharp confines of my skull.<br />
<br />
One of those bubbles burst, releasing toxic memories when the elevator stopped at floor twenty-four.<br />
<br />
Gracie was twenty-four when she was murdered.<br />
<br />
Sweat prickled on my palms as I struggled to suppress memories of a life that no longer existed.<br />
<br />
Of a man I no longer was.<br />
<br />
A happy guy back then, someone who greeted every day with a smile. Why wouldn’t I? Married to my beautiful high school sweetheart and owner of our own successful police dog training business—our lives had been complete. I’d been so fucking happy, so secure in the knowledge that I’d have kids and grow old with the love of my life. We’d even talked about starting a family, and she’d thrown away her birth control pills the month before she’d been killed.<br />
<br />
One of the thoughts that tortured me was wondering if she’d been pregnant when she died. What if a tiny, perfectly innocent soul had been stamped out that terrible day?<br />
<br />
Usually, I was good at not thinking about my personal history.<br />
<br />
Usually, I could live in the now, with no regard for the past or fears about the future.<br />
<br />
But today, on the anniversary of her death, my sweet Gracie haunted me.<br />
<br />
The events of the past week—the senseless murder of a child I’d loved—shattered my normally strong mental walls. Jason, the treasured and only grandchild of the heads of the infamous Cordova Cartel, had been adored every day of his all-too-short life. Such a good kid, he always smiled and laughed. He made even the most hardened of men fall in love. You couldn’t help it; the kid was love. Jason would hug you and for a moment, with his little arms wrapped around your neck, all would be right in the world.<br />
<br />
He’d been a beautiful, caring little boy—his only crime was being born to a greedy cunt of a mother.<br />
<br />
Flashes of sorrow laden images from Jason’s memorial service a few days ago hit me, mixed with heart-wrenching memories of burying Gracie’s charred remains in a closed casket funeral.<br />
<br />
While Gracie’s funeral had been soaked with rain, Jason’s burial took place on a bright sunny day.<br />
<br />
Regardless of weather, the pain and grief had been the same.<br />
<br />
Jason’s father Fernando had screamed in mortal agony as the first shovel of dirt hit the coffin, the terrible sound enough to drive most people to their knees.<br />
<br />
I could sympathize with the horrified misery that comes from putting someone you love in the ground.<br />
<br />
When the hauntingly familiar plink of earth falling onto hollow wood reached my ears, I’d nearly thrown up.<br />
<br />
My twisted mind focused on what it must be like to be them.<br />
<br />
To wonder if they were still aware.<br />
<br />
Paralyzed, trapped in a rotting corpse, being buried alive and sealed away from those they loved.<br />
<br />
In the dark.<br />
<br />
All alone in the suffocating dark.<br />
<br />
Unable to stop the shovelfuls of dirt cutting them off from the world of the living forever.<br />
<br />
Trapped in the unbreathing dark.<br />
<br />
A shudder whipped down my spine, and I tried to think about something—anything—else. These dark torments had been haunting me for days. They robbed me of any sleep or sanity. I felt fragile, brittle, and on edge—a dangerous combination for a man of my profession. One wrong move, one mistake caused by my inattention, and the people I cared for and guarded could be dead.<br />
<br />
I had to get a hold of myself.<br />
<br />
I had to find control.<br />
<br />
I had to stop thinking about Gracie before I drove myself crazy.<br />
<br />
I vividly recalled the way her dark blonde hair gleamed in the sunlight coming off the lake at my parent’s house. Each individual strand glowed with glints of gold, framing her heart-shaped face. She’d been seventeen years old, dressed in a cherry red bikini that showed off her curvy frame. That memory was shortly after we had sex for the first time, so we were still going at it like rabbits. Which reminded me of making love to her in a sleeping bag on one of our endless camping trips in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I’d proposed to her beneath those brilliant stars.<br />
<br />
My wife loved the outdoors. Gracie connected to nature in a way few people could understand, and that link gave her an incredible gift with animals. When we trained police dogs for the Detroit police department together, I always marveled at her ability to communicate with our pack. Hell, with any animal. They instinctively understood that she had a good, pure heart.<br />
<br />	
	

			
			

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