Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78016 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“Fuck,” Braxton curses under his breath as I climb off him. Without a condom, his cum drips out of me and down my leg. I run to the bathroom that’s connected to the bedroom and turn the water on while I go pee. I expect him to stay where he is, so I’m shocked when he joins me in the shower. On the bus I ride, one person can barely fit in the shower, but the bus for the guys is custom built with the two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room all bigger than the average New York apartment.
We’re both quiet as we wash our hair and bodies. I don’t know what to do or say. The ball is in his court. He’s the one who’s mad at me. It’s not that I’m allowing him to string me along, but I don’t know where his head’s at, and since it’s been six damn years, and so much has happened and come to light, I’m giving him a moment to breathe.
When I go to step around him so I can rinse off, he stops me, pushing me against the wall. One hand slaps the tiles next to my head, and the other squeezes the curve of my hip.
“I hate you,” he says, and my stomach drops at those three words.
I close my eyes, unable to look at him while he says whatever it is he needs to say, but when he pinches my chin, forcing me to look at him, I have no choice but to make eye contact with him.
“I hate you,” he says again, his eyes alight with silent chaos stirring in his hazel orbs. “I hate that you lied. That you didn’t talk to me. I hate that you let me go instead of holding on. That it took six years to learn the truth, and it was only because I overheard you and my dad. That you didn’t believe in us. I hate that the moment my mouth was back on yours, that I was back inside you, it felt so damn right...”
His admissions cause me to choke up, and I thank God the water is spraying over us, so he can’t see the tears racing down my cheeks.
“I fucking hate that no matter how much I hate you, I still fucking love you.” He grabs my chin a bit tighter, and I release the sob I can no longer keep in.
“Fuck, I love you so damn much.” He releases my chin and strokes the side of my cheek with the backs of his knuckles. “I never stopped. And I don’t know what the hell to do about that. So yeah, baby. I hate you...because no matter how much I don’t want to, I can’t stop loving you.”
His mouth crashes down on mine, and the taste of him, of his tongue plunging into my mouth, sends me into an emotional frenzy. My arms lock around his neck as he lifts me and slams my back against the wall. He breaks our kiss, and when his eyes meet mine, they’re filled with a myriad of emotions—love, hate, confusion, desire. And I feel every one of them down to my marrow.
My legs cup his hips, and he drives into me, his thick, long, pierced shaft massaging my vaginal walls in the best way possible. As he bottoms out in me, he releases a pained groan, telling me he’s battling with himself. He both loves and hates me. Likes and loathes me. He wants me but wishes he didn’t—and I don’t blame him. I did this. I hurt him, and while there’s a chance whatever we’re doing won’t leave this room, this bus, I’ll take Braxton any way I can get him if it means I simply have a piece of him.
I fist the chocolatey strands of his hair and bring his face to mine for a passionate kiss as we lose ourselves in each other. And as we both find our release, I tell myself that I’ll accept whatever this is, for however long it is. As much as I’ve longed for this day—never thinking it would ever come—I know I have no right to make any demands. So I’ll just roll with it and see where it goes.
When Braxton pulls out of me and I slide down the wall to my feet, he’s silent. We finish showering, and he hands me a towel so I can dry off. I stay in the bathroom while he goes out to the bedroom to get dressed. I towel dry my hair and brush my teeth with an extra toothbrush I find under the sink, all while obsessing over what’s going to happen next. I literally just told myself whatever it is, I’ll go along with it, but it’s hard when I don’t know where Braxton stands.