Series: Cobalt Empire Series by Krista Ritchie
Total pages in book: 220
Estimated words: 215301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1077(@200wpm)___ 861(@250wpm)___ 718(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1077(@200wpm)___ 861(@250wpm)___ 718(@300wpm)
He’s not entertaining a look backward. “You nervous?”
I try not to cage breath. “Dude, I could sing to millions without breaking a sweat. I have nerves of Cobalt steel.”
“Then why do you keep flicking open your lighter?”
Anticipation (just anticipation) pricks my skin. “Habit.” I shove my traitorous Zippo lighter in my pocket, then I hold out my palms. “Steady. Unshakeable. Hands that’ve made you come.”
“You think that’s noteworthy, nepo baby?” He inspects my hands, his fingers skimming my knuckles.
There is no way he can hear my pounding pulse. “I’m sure I’ve made you come the hardest of all the hands that’ve ever touched you, so yeah.” My breath shallows. “Yeah.”
He’s twisting the two stacked black rings on my pinky. I have a thicker onyx ring on my middle finger, and he thumbs that one before kneading the pit of my palm. “You think I’d like you less if your hands shook?”
My eyes sting. “I don’t know, dude.” I shrug. “Maybe I’d like myself less if they did.”
His knitted brows darken his features. “Expand on that.”
My chest is tight. “I have brothers who bulldoze. Parents who can slaughter. I do not want to be the Cobalt that people look at and see weakness. I’ve wanted to be exactly what is expected when people think of the Cobalt Empire. Intelligent, unflappable power.”
Phoenix processes this with his usual puncturing glare.
It feels familiar. It helps me continue on, so I add, “When guys are looking to hook up with me, they’re expecting a Cobalt—and I get you don’t know the extent of what that means. But it’s unbridled confidence. It’s composure and control. You think they want to be with someone who’s unsure and scared? I mean”—I laugh at the old memories of being propositioned at parties—“everyone wants to sleep with a Cobalt god. Don’t you?”
“No,” he says. “I want to sleep with the guy who shared his fears with me in his bedroom. I want the guy who can get scared and nervous. I don’t want to sleep with steel and iron that can’t hurt. I want to be with flesh and bone that can. I just want you, Tom, and you’re so fucking far from being weak. You’re just human to me. You’ve been human.”
It barrels so deep into me that I sway backward from the force of his words. His hand is in mine, so I don’t move far. I’ve never been with someone who wanted this side of me.
“Wow,” I murmur, almost speechless. I fight to speak more than monosyllables. “I think… you’re the first person who’s ever said anything like that to me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Maybe there’ll be more after you. I’m sure I have a whole line of suitors clamoring to be with this new vulnerable me.”
“Wow, should I barricade my door so they don’t bust through here?”
I smile at his dry tone and head tilt. “Probably. It’d be kind of hot.” I nod a lot.
He nods back.
I am nervous. Really nervous for this next part. “I, um…” I scratch the back of my head and side-eye the bed. “I don’t know if this is a turn-off of yours, but I’m not that experienced, dude. Like I am, but I’m not.” I read his gaze so fast.
Phoenix is very, very unsurprised.
My chest caves. “Wait, could you tell?”
Holy shit, did I give a subpar blow job? No way, no way. I’ve given A+ epic blow jobs that’ve had his eyes rolling backward. I add quickly, “Because I am experienced when it comes to what we’ve fucking done so far.”
“Tom.”
I’ve ripped my hand from him. My palms slide to my head while I back up. My legs hit the bed, and I sink down on the edge. My pride feels lightly sucker-punched. Lightly. I am not letting this knock me over. I run my fingers through my hair and intake a sharp breath.
“Look at me.” Phoenix is right in front of me, thwacking his foot against mine.
I raise my gaze. “I don’t know if I like this whole vulnerable thing. We might need to reverse. Or hey, maybe I can return it. You think customer service is open?”
“Yeah, let’s go to Target and return a moment in time.”
“Great. You want to take your Suzuki?” I’m antsy, twisting my rings.
“Just listen to me, Tom.” Okay. “I would’ve assumed you were really experienced. This whole time. It would’ve never crossed my mind that you weren’t. Honest to God.”
The reassurance isn’t hitting. “Then why did you look so unsurprised, Phoenix?”
“Because your brother said—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” My eyes explode. “Which brother told you what?”
“Charlie said you’ve only taken one dick in the ass, and that was his wording, FYI.”
An inhuman noise comes out of me. “I’m going to kill him.” I fall backward on the bed and reach for a pillow.
I smother my face in it. Charlie?!?!