Series: Cobalt Empire Series by Krista Ritchie
Total pages in book: 220
Estimated words: 215301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1077(@200wpm)___ 861(@250wpm)___ 718(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 215301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1077(@200wpm)___ 861(@250wpm)___ 718(@300wpm)
Except, I’m holding a gift I got him out of the fucking blue.
Half my time in my head is already spent thinking about him.
And hearing we’re just “bandmates who only fuck each other” makes me want to scream, and not in a melodic way.
“You don’t do relationships,” I mutter.
“That’s not why we’re not in one,” he says firmly, but almost choked. “You don’t want a serious one with me.”
It hurts to hear the truth out loud from him. My lips part, but words catch in my swollen throat.
He rises, his legs brushing against mine, but he turns his head away from me. “I need a minute.”
My chest caves.
He’s pushing out into the aisle of the plane.
I throw his gift on my chair and follow. “Phoenix—”
“Just give me a minute, Tom.” His voice breaks. “Fuck.” He stops like hardened cement a few feet from me.
I don’t bridge the distance. I give him that space, at least. My mind is whirling through a thousand different responses. We can’t risk the band. We should be focused on work. This tour is more important. What does it matter if we label what we are? It doesn’t change my feelings for you.
It doesn’t change my feelings.
It doesn’t change anything.
We’re already committed to each other.
So why am I riding a brake pedal when I crave to ease off? Phoenix is everything I’ve ever dreamed, and I’ve wanted a relationship. I’ve wanted what I realize he’s been willing to give.
Why stop now?
“Be my boyfriend,” I say with my entire chest, my entire heart.
He flinches, then rotates to face me. His eyes are as red and raw as mine feel. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” I begin to smile. “I don’t go around asking guys to be my boyfriend for shits and giggles, but I can see how you’d think it since I am perfect boyfriend material.”
He grinds his teeth, his lips nearly upturning. “Perfect boyfriend material, huh?”
“Yeah.” I risk a step closer. “I’m easy to work with.”
He laughs.
I smile more just hearing the bright sound. “I have the voice of an angel.” One more step. “I’m extraordinary in bed, my boyfriend would say. He’s rated me five stars every time.”
“Which boyfriend?”
“The only one I’ve ever had.” I’m inches from him. “You.”
Phoenix clasps my face, and our chests rise and fall in time together. And I tell him, “I think you’ve probably been my boyfriend for a while, and I was just too immovable in my mindset to accept it. But I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
“What shouldn’t?” he murmurs.
“That you move me. Away from my fears. Away from the things holding me back.”
He grips my gaze so strongly, so affectionately. There is helium in my lungs. He’s injecting this soaring feeling in me, and I want it all.
Everything with him.
“So you’re my boyfriend?” I ask.
His smile almost makes my eyes well up. “Yeah, I’m your boyfriend, Tom.”
I grin wide, able to tell how much he’s wanted this too. “Great, perfect. Then your boyfriend is giving you a gift on a random day. You can hold the applause. I know you’ll want to clap for me.”
He shakes his head slowly at me. “Rethinking this boyfriend thing as we speak.”
I smirk. “Because you want to marry me instead?”
“Shut up.” It’s the least harsh shut up, which somehow makes my cheeks burn. Tearing away from him, I return to my seat just to grab the gift I abandoned on my chair.
My pulse is racing when I head back to Phoenix, and his eyes flit all over me. Then he finally notices the neck massager in my clutch. A device that splays over the shoulders like a scarf.
“It’s for your neck,” I explain. “I know it’s been bugging you.”
I don’t have to ask if he likes it. His lips are on mine. His hand against my flushed face, and his kiss speaks what words can’t. I slide my fingers into his hair, clutching Phoenix, and I try not to let it hit me.
The bad truth among all these amazing feelings.
I’m keeping the Adderall a secret from my boyfriend.
47
PHOENIX ST. PIERRE
Tom crashes as soon as we make it back to his apartment. The sun has risen, and it definitely does not feel like nine in the morning. Going from pacific time to eastern two days out of the week has wrecked my already busted circadian rhythm. I’m off-kilter.
Do not know when I will sleep, but I’m just glad to have Tom tucked next to me on his bed. Really, I’m on my back, and he’s clung to me like I’m a body pillow—one leg draped over my legs, arm curved over my abdomen, and head pressed to my chest.
His ear is right over my heart, and I know he hates sleeping to total silence. But it does something to me knowing he’s fallen asleep to the rhythm of my heartbeat.