Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75656 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75656 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
We both watch each other as he holds me steady and presses inside, slowly stretching me and filling me. His eyes close as his hips meet mine, and when I squeeze my inner walls, he moans quietly.
He bows his head and buries it in my neck to muffle the sounds of his pleasure as he pulls back, then presses in again.
When I have a chance, I pull his shirt over his head and off, because neither of us has taken the time to do it yet. Like his SEAL brothers, his torso tells a story of hard work, discipline, and battle. There are a few scars, but my eyes go to a dark tattoo etched on his side under his ribs, the bones of a frog holding a trident.
But I can’t focus for long, because Calder’s cock is stroking into me so deep, I’d swear I can feel it in my chest. His pace seems desperate, but he moves with control, checking my face to make sure it feels good.
It feels so good. And even better when he reaches between us and presses his thumb to my clit, rubbing and teasing until I’m the one smothering my face in his skin, trying to stay quiet as everything overtakes me.
I grip his arm like a drowning woman as the first wave hits, then a stronger one, then another, ecstasy rolling over me, pulling me under, washing me clean before hitting me again.
I’m lost in it for a blissful eternity, and then, with a shuddering breath, I’m back in his arms, still upright only because of his support. He strokes his hand across my cheek and threads his fingers into my hair, his hips pumping into me the whole while, his cock knocking shaky breaths out of me with every thrust.
His eyes, full of wonder, are locked on mine, and I can’t hold back a smile. Even though it probably comes across more like a devastated gasp, it triggers him. He moves in a frenzy, his cock hitting a spot deep inside me as he wraps a handful of my hair around his fist and gently tugs.
His hand moves back to my hip, to a spot I’m going to think of as his, just before his eyes squeeze shut and his body stiffens. His cock swells, then pulses inside me with his release.
It’s long and deep, and seems to wring everything out of him.
When he opens his eyes again, he blinks like he’s just coming awake. When he eases out of me, he scoops me into his arms and lays me on the bed. After he takes care of the condom with tissues from my nightstand, he lies down next to me, brushes hair back from my face, and searches my eyes. “You okay?”
I let out a breath that feels years old as I assess. Maybe I should feel uncertain or embarrassed or at least drained in the fading glow, but I don’t. I feel calm and clear and safe. “I’m good.”
He nods, satisfied when he verifies my response with what he sees on my face.
It’s a different Calder in bed with me now. Softer, unarmored. Maybe a little confused.
I stroke his arm with my fingertips. “Are you okay?”
“Still figuring that out,” he says, but his expression doesn’t trouble me. After several quiet seconds, where we lie there touching, but not moving, he says, “I need to tell you something, and it’s probably going to sound stupid.”
“It won’t.”
His mouth tilts, unconvinced. “I’m not used to this.” I blink at him, not sure what part of this he means. “Not the sex,” he says, seeing my question. “The feeling part.”
I squeeze his hand and give him a small smile.
“In the past,” he says, “anything shared was just … physical. No promises, no complications. Everybody knew what it wasn’t.” His jaw moves. “This isn’t that.”
It definitely isn’t, I think, but I stay silent.
His hand goes to that spot on my hip and flexes as his eyes dart away. “I don’t know if sharing you with Buck and Weston means what’s between us matters less.”
His vulnerability cuts straight through me. There’s no jealousy in his tone, but maybe there’s fear, as if something that isn’t exclusive can’t be real.
“What I feel for you isn’t smaller because I feel something for them, too.” I touch his face and wait for his eyes to return to mine. “It’s different with each of you. Not more or less. Different.”
I brush the corner of his mouth with my thumb, and his lips part slightly. “The way you’re honest with me makes me want to be more honest with myself.”
His brows pinch into a frown. “About what?”
I look up at the ceiling before meeting his eyes again. “A lot of things, like how well I’m actually handling things, how much stress I’ve been carrying, and even how I feel about the three of you and what I really want.”