Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75656 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75656 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Weston, full of good humor while he tries to stop everyone’s pain.
Calder, dark and restless in ways he hides from almost everyone but me.
All of them currently discussing me like I’m a box of important documents they need to route to the correct location.
I laugh once without a trace of humor. “Federal protection? Deciding who goes with me? Do you have new names picked out for me and T.J. yet?”
“We’re trying to keep you safe,” Weston says.
I take another step closer to them. My feet are chilled, but anger is keeping me warm. “I know, and I appreciate it, but it seems like my role here is to be moved around like cargo while you three make all the decisions.”
“That’s not what we think,” Buck says.
“Then why am I finding out about these conversations by accident?”
None of them answers.
“You don’t get to make contingency plans for me without me,” I say. “You don’t get to decide where I go, who I go with, or what kind of life I’m supposed to build out of the wreckage if something happens.”
Buck’s jaw ticks. “If something happens, I need to know you and T.J. are protected.”
“And I need to know the three men I’ve apparently lost my mind and fallen in love with actually see me as a partner instead of a liability.”
Buck goes still, Weston’s breath catches, and Calder’s gaze lifts to mine, sharp and searching.
“That’s what you’re all dancing around, isn’t it?” I continue. “I’ve spent weeks in the middle of all your restraint and circling. First, it was noble intentions and everyone acting like desire was the problem. Then it was timing, then guilt, then danger, and now this.” I spread my hands. “You’re making private plans that treat me like I’ll just be reassigned if one of you dies.”
Weston flinches, but I still don’t stop. “I’m not choosing one of you as my primary future and the others as heartbreak I’ll have to survive. I’m not keeping little emotional escape hatches open in case this gets complicated. It’s already complicated.”
They all seem stunned, but my words keep flowing with surprising ease.
“I love you,” I say, looking straight at Buck first, because his face is the hardest to read, and he needs the direct hit. “I love how you take care of everyone around you, even when you’re running on fumes. I love how you make people feel safer just by walking into a room.”
Then Weston. Sweet, dangerous Weston, who looks at me like he wants to memorize every word. “I love you. I love your patience and your kindness, and the way you see what people need before they can say it. I love that you can hold pain in your hands without looking away.”
Then Calder. He’s looking at me with a kind of naked intensity that makes my heart pound harder. “I love you,” I whisper. “I love the parts you think are too damaged and difficult, and I love the way you keep showing up for people anyway.”
I look around at all three of them. “I choose all of you. Not temporarily, and not because we’re all scared and clinging to each other because there’s a threat hanging over us. I choose all of you, and I choose this family we’re somehow building, no matter the risk or the messiness.”
My throat tightens, but I force the rest through. “If there are contingency plans to make, I need to be part of them. I’m in this, and if we survive what’s coming, I’m still in it. If we don’t …” I draw a shaky breath. “Then I hope none of us spend one more day acting like this is anything less than it is.”
I flatten my palm over my chest. “I’m in this. All the way.”
There’s silence after that, but it doesn’t feel empty. And it’s only a moment before Buck steps toward me with his expression stripped bare.
“You should have been a part of the conversation,” he says. “That’s on me.”
Weston follows it with a quiet, “Me too.”
Calder huffs out a laugh that breaks in the middle. “I don’t have a defense that doesn’t sound stupid.”
Despite everything, I almost smile.
“You’re not a liability.” Buck’s voice is filled with conviction.
“Then stop treating me like one.”
He keeps looking into my eyes. “All right.”
“I wasn’t trying to leave you out.” Weston’s voice is low and rough. “I was trying to imagine every way to keep you alive.”
“I know you meant well,” I say. “You just forgot I’m a person in the middle of all this, not a prize at the end.”
He winces as Buck’s gaze drops to my bare feet, then back to my face. Even now, part of him is cataloging details like cold, exposure, and risk.
“You should go inside,” he says.
When I stare back at Buck, Calder chuckles under his breath.