Total pages in book: 33
Estimated words: 30151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 151(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 30151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 151(@200wpm)___ 121(@250wpm)___ 101(@300wpm)
Goddamn him. How the fuck was I supposed to eat when Anurak, the sweetest boy I’d ever known, was in fucking pieces because I’d failed him?
“It’s not your fault,” I told Anurak. “My job is to protect you, and those men had plans to kidnap you. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“I told you, perrito, that this was his job,” Rico told his boy gently, cupping his face to tilt it up so they were looking at each other. “Bento has always known the risks associated with being your bodyguard, and he did exactly as I expected of him. He risked his own life to save yours.”
“But he could have died,” Anurak cried, his voice wobbling and his breath hitching.
“It would have been honorable,” I quietly assured him. He turned to look at me, and I offered him a soft smile. “I will always gladly lay my life down if it means you get to live another day, kid. And not because it’s my job, but because you’re my friend. And I want to protect you, okay? There are risks associated with being your bodyguard, and I’m aware of that. I’m okay with that.”
He shook his head, his jaw clenching. “Then I don’t want you as my bodyguard anymore.”
I felt his words like a punch to the gut. I’d worked fucking hard to gain the position I’d gotten as his bodyguard. Niran was the head of all of us, and I was just about right beneath that. Being the bodyguard of the boss’s significant other was something most only got to dream of. It was more laid back, less hours, and more pay. But it wasn’t just that.
It meant you were trusted. You were family in a deeper sense than just belonging to the man who signed your paychecks.
“If that’s what you want,” I managed to get out. But saying the words was about as easy as swallowing acid. Because Anurak wasn’t just someone I protected. He really was my friend. I cared about what happened to him. And I also didn’t trust a single other soul to protect him the same way I did. The same way I could.
“It’s not what I want,” he croaked, “but I can’t stand the thought of this happening to you again.”
I sighed. “Anurak, the odds of this happening again are slim to none,” I assured him. “It’s been several years since you and Rico got together, and this is the first time someone has gone out of their way to target you.”
“But it can happen.”
I opened my mouth to try to tamp down his fears, but Rico spoke before I could. “Perrito, why don’t we go cuddle in bed and watch a movie?” he suggested. “And once you’re calm, we can talk more about this. Okay?”
Anurak nodded, and Rico lifted him. Once Anurak twined his arms around his husband’s neck and legs around his waist, Rico carried him from the room, calling for Ace as he did so. I sighed and stared down at the burrito. My appetite was fucking gone.
“He didn’t mean it, kon-dii,” Niran said quietly. His voice was stiff, but it was nice to know he was still trying to comfort me, even he wasn’t all that sure how to do that.
I sighed. “He did,” I assured him. “Anurak doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean. And while he didn’t mean it the way it feels because I know he only wants me to be safe, it still fucking hurts.”
Niran grunted. “Eat,” he instructed. “And don’t wallow.”
I scowled at him. “Fuck you, Niran.”
He heaved a heavy breath. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m not good with comforting people, Bento. Even you. I just can’t empathize like that. It’s not one of my abilities. Give Rico and Ace time to calm him down and talk some sense into him. You’ll be out of commission while you heal, but you won’t be losing your position as his bodyguard. I can promise that.”
“If that’s still what he ultimately wants, Niran, Rico will give it to him.”
Niran tapped the bar top. “Eat, kon-dii, and stop worrying. You are the closest thing Anurak has to a best friend. Just… I don’t know. Hang in there.”
My lips quirked at how uncomfortable he looked. “You really are shit at this whole comfort thing, aren’t you?”
He rolled his eyes. “Eat. I’m tired of repeating myself.” He headed for the doorway to leave the kitchen. “When you’re done, come to my office to get your medicine. I need your assistance with something.”
I saluted him. He snorted and left the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the fear that I was not only about to be demoted, but I was going to lose someone I considered family.
15
Niran
Ididn’t like the way Bento being upset made me feel—like I was crawling out of my fucking skin. And there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do to help him because I didn’t know how he felt. How was I expected to comfort him when I couldn’t relate? I didn’t want to give him something half-assed. That wasn’t who I was. But Bento was mine, and I was supposed to be able to take care of him in all the ways.