Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26105 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26105 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
CHAPTER 4
Charley
Liam’s words are as sharp as shards of glass. They pierce my chest, releasing a fresh wave of anger and sorrow. The audacity of his accusation leaves a bitter taste on my tongue and fuels the fire inside me.
“You’re an asshole, you know that? Not all of us enjoyed the luxuries you had growing up. Some of us had it harder. Had to make choices that broke our hearts because it was the right thing to do. Some of us couldn’t walk through life playing football and living in the clouds. You had a good life. Your parents had more money than all of my extended family combined.”
I gesture to the room around us, the distillery, the huge house with its marble floors and crown molding. “You have no idea what it’s like to struggle. You were a selfish, self-absorbed boy, and now you’re an angry, entitled man. Not everyone gets a silver spoon; some of us get tarnished stainless steel.”
Anger and resentment roll off him as he cages me between the unforgiving brick wall and his looming form.
He’s the only man I’ve ever loved, the boy who stole my heart and the man who holds it captive for eternity. The only man who, despite the rage simmering between us, still makes my breath catch and my heart ache. I still love him, but the weight of our history is a crumbling bridge too dangerous to cross.
“Money isn’t everything. You were my fucking life. I lived in a world of black and white until you barged in and turned everything technicolor. But then you left me behind, as if I didn’t matter. Like we didn’t matter. Wanna know what happened to me after you left, Charley? The darkness that wrapped around me? You left me fuckin’ broken. Sadness isn’t a big deal when it’s all you’ve known. But when you’ve experienced perfect joy, and it’s ripped away from you, it’s pure fucking agony. I tried everything to fill the void you left. Women, drugs, alcohol, parties. I was ready to die.”
His confession is shocking, even though his voice remains calm. “I fucking loved you. You were everything. You hear me? Everything.”
Before I can reply, Liam crashes his lips to mine. The kiss roars with anger, echoes with sorrow, and sighs with relief. I kiss him back, throwing my arms around his neck and desperately trying to forget everything—the pain, the loneliness, the fear that consumes me. Nothing seems to matter at this moment, but his arms wrapped around me and his lips on mine.
“I fucking hate you,” he hisses as his teeth dig into my bottom lip and blood trickles into my mouth. “But I also love you. It’s fucked up, but I want to make you cry and comfort you at the same time. You fucked me up, Charley. You really fucked me up.”
I close my eyes and let his words wash over me, knowing I deserve his wrath. I’m willing to accept his punishment as long as it’s followed by his love. How fucked up is this? How fucked up am I? One desperate decision made seven years ago mangled my mind and my heart.
Being near Liam, having his body and mouth touching mine, causes the memories to come crashing back. How will we ever be okay with the weight of it all? How can he conquer his hatred of me to make way for the love?
The weight of everything crashes down on me, and grief rushes in. I crumble to the floor like a stack of dominoes, my head in my hands, my body shaking as tears flood my cheeks.
“I’m so tired of trying to keep our heads above water. The moment I think we’re okay, something else happens, and we fall further behind. I want to feel something, anything other than this. I wish I could wear the bruises on my skin instead of on my heart. I want visible scars and marks. I’m so fucked up.” The past I tried to run away from has finally caught up with me, and before I can stop myself, I whisper, “Hurt me, Liam. Please. I need you to hurt me.”
Liam’s hands tangle in my hair. He tugs until my scalp stings, exposing my neck. He doesn’t hesitate; his teeth grazing my delicate skin. “You want me to hurt you, Charley? You want me to bruise your body the way you’ve bruised my heart?”
I nod, my heart beating in my throat.
“That’s not good enough, Charley. I’m gonna need to hear you beg for the pain. I want you to tell me exactly what you want from me. Go on, Charley, beg me. It’s your turn to crawl. Your turn to feel the devastation of wanting something so badly that you’d do anything to get it. Do it, Charley. Beg.”