Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I don’t think so.”
“Let’s see if you do.” I held up the picture and watched as his eyes grew wide as I asked, “Do you know this guy?”
18
BROOKE
“Ryan?”
I thought I was dreaming, but the second I saw the pained look in his eyes, I knew this was no dream. He was here, and he seemed just as surprised to see me as I was him. I eased up on the sofa, trying to shake off the cobwebs of my nap. It didn’t help matters that my heart was hammering against my chest so hard I could barely make a complete thought.
I blinked, trying to clear the fog from my head as I asked, “What time is it?”
“Just after three.”
“Really? I can’t believe I slept that long.”
“Why aren’t you at work? Are you sick or is Anslee…”
“Anslee’s fine. I am, too. I just haven’t been sleeping well, so I took the day off.”
“Oh, okay. I’m sorry. I thought you wouldn’t be here.” His eyes searched mine. “I just came by to grab some clothes and stuff.”
“It’s fine, Ryan. This is your house. You can come by any time.”
My words settled like a weight on my chest. I had no idea how we’d gotten here, and I hated it. All of it. It hurt to even look at the man I’d always considered my best friend, so I looked toward the window, sighing as I looked at the afternoon sun stretch across the living room floor.
“You okay?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
For the past two years, Ryan had been my person. I talked to him about everything from issues with my parents to crazy stuff that had gone on at work. I trusted him to be honest and forthright, and I did the same for him. We relied on each other, we were always there for each other, and we’d built a special relationship that I’d come to treasure.
I thought it was enough. But that was before.
Before that night at the fair.
Before I knew my heart still belonged to Brayden.
Before he packed up everything and moved out. Things were different between us now, and justifiably so. I’d hurt him. I didn’t deserve his friendship, his thoughtfulness, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want it.
I did.
I didn’t want to lose him.
But I feared I already had. And if I hadn’t, it was only a matter of time. That thought made my heart ache. My life was unraveling so quickly I could barely remember what normal felt like. I wanted to say that to him, but I couldn’t find the words.
He could see that I was struggling, so he dropped his duffle bag and sat on the edge of the coffee table, facing me with a look of concern. “I’ve been trying to give you space. I thought that was what you needed, but…”
“It was.”
“Why doesn’t it feel that way?”
“Because it’s all so hard.” I looked down at my hands as I told him, “I wanted to make sure I’m doing the right thing.”
“And are you?”
“Yes. Without a doubt.”
Silence stretched between us. He knew I’d made my choice, and it wasn’t him. In true Ryan fashion, he didn’t get angry. He didn’t yell and tell me I was wrong. He simply let the truth of the realization sink in. Eventually, he asked the question I knew was coming. “What happens now?”
“I don’t know.”
I wished I’d had a better answer. He certainly deserved one, but that was all I had. He let out a quiet breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “You know, but you just don’t have the guts to say it.”
“Ryan.”
“You want him… You’ve always wanted him.”
His words took my breath. Not because they weren’t true, but because they weren’t that simple. “I never told you I didn’t. You knew I loved him and how hard it was to lose him. You also knew how much I cared about you… You’re my best friend. I’ve been closer to you than anyone, and the last thing I want to do is hurt.”
“Too late for that.”
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I never meant for things to play out like this.”
“And yet, here we stand.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
“When you finally told me about Brayden, I kept hoping that this was about Anslee.”
“It is.”
“It was never just about her.” His eyes met mine. “It was about him, too.”
He was right.
Seeing Brayden again hadn’t brought on new feelings. It had simply confirmed that they’d never gone away. There was no way to explain that to him, so I left those words unsaid. He glanced back over his shoulder and stared down the hallway to Anslee’s room as he said, “I loved her like she was my own… I still do.”
“I know, and she loves you. She has from that first day in the park.”
“I loved you, too.”