Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 65884 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 329(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65884 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 329(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
I watched the video twice and read through the comments. His fans supported him, sympathized with him, said hello to Mabel, and gave tips for beginner’s yoga.
I called again.
Nothing.
My mood plummeted.
I went through the motions of a normal day. I woke up, went to practice, went to class, worked out…rinse and repeat. My teammates had given me a wide berth. We were all under a lot of pressure, and no, it wasn’t like me to clam up, but they probably figured I’d snap out of it eventually. I had to. We were in the fucking playoffs.
I should have been excited, pumped up, and ready to kick ass. Instead, I felt as if I were floating…there in body, but not in spirit. I couldn’t stop thinking about Walker.
I missed my friend. I missed the sound of his voice and his laughter. I missed his clever mind and twinkling eyes. I missed touching him, holding him, kissing him. The thought of “us” being over hurt like hell. I’d told him I’d figure it out, but he’d done that himself. He didn’t need me. And maybe that was for the best ’cause I was fucking useless.
Unlocking my front door, I dumped my backpack in the foyer and furrowed my brow at the big lug sprawled on my sofa. “What are you doing here?”
Gus stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “I think my roommate hates me.”
I scoffed. “He does. What did you do now?”
“I accidentally drank his orange juice…again.”
“Buy more.”
“I’m on my way.” He grunted as he stood, rubbing his belly. “This was just a quick pit stop to help Brady demolish the cinnamon rolls his mom sent.”
“Oh.” I glanced at the box on the counter and unzipped my jacket.
“Oh? Gooey, cinnamony, sugary deliciousness, and all you got is, ‘oh’? You love those fuckin’ cinnamon rolls. The last time she sent them, you mowed two in under five minutes, and you wouldn’t shut up about how awesome they were.”
“He licked his fingers a lot too,” Brady piped up from the hallway. He fell onto the space Langley vacated.
“True. It was gross.” Langley narrowed his eyes. “Out with it, Czerniak. What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
My friends shared a look that clearly said one of them was going to have to deal with me.
Gus blew out a rush of air and sucked it in again. “Okay. Fine. If you don’t want to talk, we’ll eat cinnamon rolls.”
Brady growled. “No, you’re done, Langley.” Finished, I corrected in my head. “Grow a pair and deal with your roomie. I’m not sharing anymore.”
“That’s good. I’m stuffed anyway,” Gus groused. “Party at my place tonight, and don’t even think about not coming, Czerniak. You need to get laid, pronto. I’m gonna introduce you to this girl from that terrible statistics class I had to retake last year. Her name is Hannah and she’s a fucking knockout—big tits, great personality.”
“Thanks, but—”
“No buts.” Gus squeezed my elbow as he stepped around me. “I say this in the nicest way possible…you gotta let it go. Move on. Maybe the timing was wrong or something.”
My heart lurched into my throat. I swallowed my protests. There was no point in pretending I didn’t know what he meant. Just like there was no point in pretending I wanted to meet someone new. The thought made me sick. Literally. Bile rose in my throat. The sickly, sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar didn’t mix well with fear and sorrow.
Brady waited till Gus closed the door to speak, shifting his gaze from the video game he was playing on the flat-screen to me. “You’re gonna be okay, Ty.”
This time my eyes welled ’cause I wasn’t so sure.
The wall I’d erected over this past week wasn’t holding up.
I’d been thinking about the future, weighing obstacles, and wondering if Walker had given up on me the second I’d walked out the door. Everyone left him. In this case, he’d pushed me out the door, but…still.
I couldn’t let it go, and I wondered why I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t fix him. I couldn’t make his life easier. I couldn’t erase his painful past. All I could do was love him and—
Holy shit.
I loved him.
The debilitating, soul-crushing, panicky angst I’d been carrying for a week wasn’t just confusion laced with concern and a healthy dose of fear. It was so much more. It was me sticking to a path I’d outgrown, too fucking paralyzed by expectation to realize I had power too. This was my life.
And I fucking loved him.
Maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe we were too different.
It didn’t matter. He needed to know.
“I…I gotta go.” I rezipped my jacket, grabbed my keys, and bolted.
“Walker’s not here.”
I leaned on the doorjamb and whipped my sunglasses off, leveling Robin with my best work-with-me-here look. “Any idea where I can find him? It’s important.”
I wasn’t above using my height and broader frame to intimidate. Desperate times and all that.