Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“Holy shit. Really?”
“I denied it when he accused me. But he was right.” She smiles wickedly. “I was. A really good one.”
I’m blown away, dizzy with excitement. “So you never told Cooper you wanted to fuck me?”
“How could I tell him that when I didn’t even realize it myself? Yes, I was having sex dreams about you, but I convinced myself they didn’t mean anything. Or maybe they were just symbolic of our close bond, I don’t know. I twisted myself into pretzels to explain it away.”
“But Cooper could see the truth.”
“Apparently so. I told him he was delusional and crazy. Because, honestly, I thought he was. But looking back, he was right to feel jealous of you.”
I snort. “Poor Cooper. No wonder he wrote that song.”
“Poor Cooper?”
“You gaslit him, babe.”
“What?”
“I’m sure he was out of his head with jealousy. He could see what you couldn’t, and you kept telling him he was delusional and crazy. That’s textbook gaslighting.”
She swats my shoulder. “Whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Always and forever.” I kiss her forehead. “But you have to admit you kinda did mindfuck him.”
“Not on purpose. And enough with the poor guy stuff. I didn’t understand my feelings for you, Kendrick. Our friendship was complicated. And he was a total and complete dick to me.”
“That’s for damned sure. So, yeah, fuck him. He dated you for, what, three months and got a blockbuster song out of it—one that’s going to buy him and all his bandmates condos, at least. Maybe even houses, if they get lucky and get a follow-up hit.”
“Right?”
“I think Cooper would probably say getting gaslit by you was well worth it in the end.”
Ruby cracks up. “He already told me that, basically.”
Ruby tells me the story about her conversation with Cooper in Laila’s dressing room yesterday, and we both hoot with laughter till we’re crying.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was freaking out. Right before Cooper came to talk to me, Laila said something that made me realize I’m in love with you, and I—” Ruby clamps her mouth shut, her eyes wide. Obviously, she didn’t mean to say those three little words out loud.
I touch her cheek and smile from ear to ear, feeling like my heart is about to explode. “I’m in love with you, too. I love you, Ruby. I’ve always loved you.”
She sighs. “I love you, too, Kendrick.”
And I always will.
They’re the words on the tip of my tongue. But I don’t have the courage to say them. Not yet. Baby steps.
We embrace and kiss, and after a bit, Ruby breaks away and says, “I have a confession to make, too.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “The spark didn’t happen for me instantly, like it did for you. But only because you were a football player, and I thought those were totally gross.”
I laugh.
“But when you went off to school, I missed you so much, it felt like a physical ache was wracking my body. Like I was missing a limb. I dreamed about you every night, Kendrick. At first, we’d be playing music together or watching a movie in my dreams. But then, I was kissing you. And then . . .” She blushes. “I was losing my virginity to you.”
My breathing catches. “Oh my god, Ruby.”
“I realized I wanted that in real life. Not only in my dreams. I wanted you to be my first.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this back then?” I’m beside myself. I sit up in the bed, my legs bent and my mind racing. “I would have dropped everything to come to you, Ruby! Do you have any idea how many girls I turned down in high school, specifically because I wanted you to be my first? Because I was in love with you, and only you? Because being with you for my first time was my biggest fantasy? I was totally obsessed with the idea.”
Ruby runs both palms down her face. When she emerges, she’s red-faced and panting. “I didn’t tell you—not over the phone, anyway—because I decided to surprise you at school on your nineteenth birthday and ask you to take my virginity in person.”
My jaw drops. “Why didn’t you go through with it? I would have said yes.”
“I did go through with it. I took the train and made it all the way to your doorstep.”
“What?”
“But then, I saw something through your front window that made me turn around and hop the next train home.”
“You were there? What did you see?”
Ruby presses her lips together. “You and Florence. Having sex on a couch. I saw you without meaning to do it through a tiny gap in your blinds.”
I palm my forehead. “No. No.”
“I turned around and went home and never told another living soul about what happened and the stupid thing I did.”
“Oh my fucking God, Ruby. It wasn’t stupid. I wanted you. Only you. You’re the only one I’ve ever truly wanted, baby. Fuck me. If only I’d known.”