Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
But that first kiss with Ryder felt nothing like this one with Kendrick. I don’t know if that’s because I’m not scared of what comes next with Kendrick, only excited, or if it’s simply because the mind of an experienced adult processes these things differently than the mind of a virginal teenager. Or maybe it’s simply because I’m kissing Kendrick. All I know is I’ve never swooned like this in my life. Surely, that’s a good sign for what’s about to happen. Will sex with Kendrick feel sort of like a first time, too? God, I hope so, since my first time with Ryder wasn’t anything memorable. At least, it was nothing like I thought it’d be, based on what I witnessed of Kendrick going to town on Florence on his couch.
Kendrick breaks away from my lips and kisses my cheek. “Come with me, sweetheart,” he whispers, grabbing my hand. “I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.”
I pause, and Kendrick immediately stops.
“You’re having second thoughts? That’s okay. We can cuddle or—”
“No, I want to do this. No second thoughts.” It’s the truth. An understatement, actually. But thinking about Ryder and the letdown of my first time, which has always been entangled in my mind with the disappointment and embarrassment I felt about my surprise trip to visit Kendrick, has planted the seed of a fantasy, just this fast. One I can’t resist requesting from Kendrick, even if it’s a little bit weird. Kendrick said this fling is all about me, after all. My desires and fantasies. And if I don’t speak up now, this one-of-a-kind moment will be gone forever. “W-would you be willing to do a role-play with me?” I ask, my heart thumping. “Just this once. For our first time?”
Kendrick’s eyebrows lift. “Anything, yes. Of course.” He presses his lips together, his body language communicating he’s on tenterhooks to hear my idea.
“It might be weird,” I warn him. “But, since you’re the guy who wrote a song called ‘Spank,’ I figure . . .” I trail off, feeling vulnerable. “You know what? Never mind.”
“No, tell me. Please. Whatever it is, my answer is yes.”
My cheeks feel hot. My heartbeat is crashing in my ears. “Could we maybe pretend I’m a virgin . . . and you’re . . . my first?”
Kendrick’s chest expands. “Yes,” he chokes out, like he’s barely able to get the word out.
“Nothing too complicated,” I add quickly. “I’m not asking you to lay rose petals down or pretend I’m a serf and you’re a lord.”
One side of Kendrick’s mouth hitches up. “I’m down to do all of that, if you want.”
“No. I mean, okay, maybe later.”
We both chuckle.
“But for now, for this time, you’ll still be you and I’ll still be me. I just mean, maybe you can take it extra slow and gentle, or however you’d do it if knew I’d never had sex before and you wanted to make it feel extra special.”
His breathing is shallow. “That sounds good. I can do that, yeah.”
I rub my forehead nervously. “I don’t even know what this would entail, honestly, compared to what you were already planning to do, but—”
“Ruby, yes. I love the idea. It’s a huge turn-on for me.”
I meet his gaze. “Really?”
“Really.” He smiles wickedly. “Are we our actual teenage selves, only on an alternate timeline? Or are we our present selves, but all prior sexual experiences have been wiped from our memories?”
I can’t help giggling. “I’m thinking we’re teenagers.”
“Okay.”
“But not kids. We’re, like, nineteen going on twenty.”
Kendrick bites back a smile. “I lost my virginity at nineteen, so that’ll be easy for me to role-play.”
“I did, too. Nineteen.”
We stare at each other for a moment, the mention of our past lovers thudding like lead balloons onto the floor between us.
“Be honest with me,” I say, “if this idea doesn’t work for you.”
“It does. Like I said, it’s a turn-on. A big one.” He shifts his weight. “It feels right to do it this way for our first time.”
“It does, right? After this, we can swing from the chandeliers.”
“Or not. Whatever works for you, when the time comes, is what will work for me. No performances required or desired, okay, Ruby? We’ll take it one honest minute at a time.”
“Okay,” I squeak out. “Fair warning. I’m pretty sure, after this, I’ll go right back to being the horny wildebeest who begged you to fuck her in Reed’s laundry room.”
Kendrick bursts out laughing. “You can be whatever and whoever you want to be, sweetheart. Whatever feels good to you and turns you on, whatever fantasies you have, tell me, and that’s what we’ll do. I want to do it all with you.”
My breath comes out in a slow, stuttering stream. “Thank you.”
He cocks his head. “Wait, so am I a teenage virgin, too, or just you?”