Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 583(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 389(@300wpm)
Still… fear had a way of lingering, like smoke that clings to your clothes long after the fire’s out. And sitting here surrounded by my best friends, I realized I wanted to say it out loud. I’d kept my friends in the dark on so many things in my life, so many feelings, but I needed them through this. I needed to be vulnerable, even if it was hard.
“I know we’re all buzzing over this,” I said, wiping the tears from laughing away with a swipe of my thumb. My smile waned a bit. “But… can I admit that I’m also a little scared?”
“Well, of fucking course you are,” Grace said. “It’s a baby. It’s a whole ass human that you have growing inside you.”
“I’d be more concerned if you weren’t scared,” Mia added.
I nodded. “It’s not even really being pregnant or giving birth. My relationship with my mom is just so…”
“Fucked,” Grace finished for me, and we all laughed at that.
I’d confided in all of them not too long ago about everything going on with my family. Maybe knowing I would be a mom soon had emboldened me, because suddenly I couldn’t figure out why I’d felt the need to hide it from all of them save for Maven. Of course, they’d all listened and comforted me, vowing their support for me no matter what I decided to do about my sister’s wedding. But more than that, they didn’t pity me when I told them the reasons behind my family’s detachment. They treated me like the survivor I was, helping me through a tough storm of emotions while also reminding me that none of what happened in my past defined who I was now.
And that’s the thing about girlfriends — the real ones. They’re soulmates, too. They’re the ones who show up in ways no one else can, who remind you of your worth when you forget, who fight for you and laugh with you and refuse to let you go through the hardest parts of life alone.
“Exactly,” I echoed Grace. “And I guess I just… I don’t want to get this wrong. I don’t want to hurt someone. I want this kid to have the best childhood possible, better than mine. And some days I worry about whether I’ll be enough to give them that.”
The suite was quiet for a beat before Grace leaned forward, her expression fierce in that way only she could manage. “Livia. You will be an incredible mother. The fact that you’re even asking these questions proves it.”
Chloe reached for my hand. “You’ve already broken the cycle. You know what you don’t want to repeat, and you’ll build something better. That’s what matters.”
Mia nodded, her eyes glossy. “And you’re not doing this alone. You’ve got Carter. And you’ve got us. We’re here for every step.”
“Every contraction, every craving, every meltdown,” Grace added. “We’ll be right there with you.”
The knot in my chest loosened. For the first time, I let myself believe them.
“Can I ask… has any of this impacted your decision with Lacey’s wedding?” The question came from Chloe, who was flushing red like she wasn’t sure she should have asked.
I let out a breath. “Yeah. It has. I finally put boundaries in place and told her the truth. The whole thing — about the abuse from…” I swallowed down bile the way I always did when I had to say his name. “From Robert. I told her how our parents covered it up, and how they disowned me when I refused to stay quiet.”
“Oh my God,” Grace whispered. “What did she say?”
I shrugged. “Honestly? I think she’s always known. She just didn’t want to admit it, because then she’d have to choose between me and our parents. And I don’t think she knows how to do that yet. She told me she loved me. That she was sorry it happened. That it was awful. But she didn’t denounce them, either. Maybe one day she’ll call them on it. Maybe she’ll keep living in denial. That’s her path to walk.”
My throat tightened, but I forced myself to keep going.
“She did say she understood my decision not to go to the wedding. Or any family function ever again. And…” I hesitated, then smiled faintly. “I told her I was pregnant. That if she wanted to, I’d love for her to be a part of her niece’s life.”
A beat of silence passed before Mia asked softly, “Will you tell your parents?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t have anything more to say to them.”
The girls all stared at me with glossy eyes, the weight of what I’d said settling between us. Then Maven reached over and laced her fingers through mine, squeezing so tight it almost hurt.
“You’re so strong, Liv,” she said, her voice firm, steady. “We’re proud of you. And you don’t need them. You’ve got us. We’re your family now.”