Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104185 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Laurel moaned when my tongue touched hers, and then she answered back, curling a hand up into my hair. Her other hand ventured inside my jacket, as if wanting to pull me tighter. But she drew it back like she’d been bitten.
I lifted my head, dazed.
“Your gun.” She gave me a small, embarrassed smile. “I’d forgotten.”
So had I, about everything else. Shit.
It was like rapidly coming down off a drug as the logical side of my brain fired back up. She must have sensed the change in me because her hands clutched tighter, especially when I started to pull away.
“No,” she pleaded, but I didn’t listen.
“Fuck,” I muttered. “I shouldn’t have done that.” I straightened, letting my hands fall to my sides, and then staggered back to give her space to climb down.
But she remained sitting there on the round tabletop in defiance. “This is it for me, Jason. I don’t want to play this game.” The words were edged with pain and frustration. “I’m so tired. I’m tired of fighting it, of wanting you, even when I know I shouldn’t. But I can’t stop,” she admitted, “and it’s just . . . exhausting.”
I released the air in my lungs in a slow, controlled breath, but my heart stumbled.
She touched the pads of her fingertips to her lips as if trying to remember where my mouth had been just moments ago, and her eyebrows tugged together. “Maybe I could deal with it better if I knew I wasn’t alone in this.” Her eyes softened and her voice dropped to a hush. “I know it isn’t allowed, and I don’t make it easy for you, but just give me that one thing, please.” Her expression was full of longing. “Tell me you want this.”
God, no, she wasn’t alone . . . but I couldn’t tell her that because I wasn’t ready to face the consequences. I’d lose my job, and it was the only thing I had. And I certainly couldn’t tell her the truth, that what I felt for her might develop into more.
It was already too much.
Words wouldn’t come. They were lodged painfully in my chest, and I stayed quiet like a coward.
I was too afraid to admit to myself what was happening.
“Answer me,” she demanded. “Say something.”
“No.” It was all I could choke out. “I can’t.”
She folded her hands over her stomach and doubled over like I’d just landed a punch to her kidneys. I kind of wished she would do that to me. But abruptly, her face tilted up so she could deliver a cold glare that rivaled the one my mother used when she felt disrespected.
“You’re a fucking liar,” she hissed.
I’d never heard her swear before, and the profanity made her words stab into me. “Laurel, I—”
She lifted a hand, cutting me off. “Enough.”
I ceased to exist to her then. She hurried to undo the ribbons on her ankles and yanked her ballet slippers off. Thoughts twisted in my head, trying to work themselves free, but everything was chaos. The only thing I could make sense of was that I was a fucking liar.
I wanted her so badly it was painful.
When she slid down off the table and pulled on her street shoes, the atmosphere in the room was frosty. It forced me into action. I grabbed my phone out of the glass and followed her from the banquet room, fully expecting her to turn and slam the door on me when she charged through it.
Derrick cocked an eyebrow when we reappeared. We had to be quite a sight. Laurel looked pissed, and I was guilty as hell.
She said absolutely nothing as she marched across the parking lot, moving so quickly Derrick almost fell behind. When I attempted to say goodnight, she ignored me and shut her motel door.
“What the hell happened?” he asked. “You paid that guy a hundred bucks to piss her off?”
No, I wanted to snap, I can do that for free.
My frustration reached critical mass by the time I got to my room.
I’d lied to her, and if she didn’t trust me, what use was I? She could request a new marshal in the morning, and I’d be gone instantly. There was no other option, I had to fix this. Because the idea of her being gone forever?
It was somehow scarier than anything else.
17
LAUREL
I refused to shed a tear over Jason Dunn. He had paid for my time on the floor, and for a moment it made me able to cope with the disaster that was my life. But the sweet gesture only made me bitter now.
Calling his bluff had proven he was a liar, but there wasn’t any victory in that.
I changed into my pajamas, crawled into bed, and squeezed my eyes shut, leaving the lights on. Maybe it would save me from the darkness threatening to overtake everything. I felt so unbelievably alone.