Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 48730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 244(@200wpm)___ 195(@250wpm)___ 162(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 48730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 244(@200wpm)___ 195(@250wpm)___ 162(@300wpm)
“And I told them I have plans,” Mom said in exasperation. “They whined a little, but they’re fine. Jesus, you’d think I killed their dog or something.”
I stared at her, somehow still amazed that she could have so little self-awareness.
“We’ll see you later,” I said slowly, stepping toward Cian. When we were shoulder to shoulder, I leaned in a little so we were touching.
This wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t surprising or shocking. This was our life. I wasn’t sure why Cian was arguing with her about it.
“What’s in your hand?” she asked, waving those red nails at me. I instantly regretted not hiding it. I hadn’t ever been able to prove that Mom stole from us, but more than once, the cash I’d given the kids for school trips would go missing out of backpacks. Once, I’d even come up almost a hundred dollars short when I’d gone grocery shopping, when I knew I’d counted the money carefully the night before.
“A graduation present from Richie.”
“Lemme see.” She walked toward me and looked down as I opened the box. “Oh, that’s nice.”
“Thanks.”
“You better not let that boy get you pregnant,” she said, taking a step backward. “You’re obviously having sex.”
Cian let out a choked noise beside me.
“I’m not going to get pregnant,” I ground out, my face burning.
“You shouldn’t even be having sex,” she continued. “One slip up, and boom, your life’s over. If you think that boy is going to marry you…” She laughed derisively. “Don’t count on it.”
“I’m not going to slip up.”
“You’ve clearly been going at it.” She gestured at my hair. “I’m just saying.”
The mix of embarrassment and rage that flowed through me made my hands shake. Did she not realize that her thirteen-year-old son could hear every word she said? How in the hell did she delude herself into thinking it was appropriate to talk about my sex life in front of him?
“I’ve had an IUD for the last two years,” I snapped, trying to ignore Cian standing right next to me.
“Thank Christ,” she said easily, her voice suddenly cheerful and unconcerned. The abrupt mood shift wasn’t surprising. “Don’t wait up.” She turned and swayed toward the front door, and I tried to hide my scowl.
She shouldn’t be driving. We all knew it. We all thought it. But I didn’t say a word, and neither did Cian. We’d had that fight more than once. The worst time, I’d had to cake makeup on my cheekbone for a week to hide the bruise after she punched me in the face—the best time, I’d been able to dodge her, and we’d hidden her keys after she’d passed out on the kitchen floor.
It wasn’t as if we could call the police. If she was arrested for driving drunk, the kids would go into the system. I refused to think about how fucked up it was that I spent so many hours of my life hoping that the police wouldn’t do their job and my mom didn’t kill anyone.
The front door closed with a slam, and I turned to Cian.
“What the fuck?”
“I fucking hate her,” he ground out, his voice rough. “I hate her. I hope she dies.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” he shouted. “I fucking hate her.”
“What the hell happened?”
“She came out here, had dinner with us like everything was all fine,” he choked out. “You should’ve seen Ash and Ro. They were watchin’ her like she was the second coming of Christ. She’s askin’ them about school and all this bullshit. Me and Sersh were just starin’ at her, wonderin’ what the fuck she was up to, but the littles were soaking that shit up.”
I didn’t have to imagine it. I could see it. Ronan and Aisling were still young enough to hope things were changing. That someday Mom would just suddenly turn into the person they needed.
“So, we get through dinner, and they’re practically vibrating with excitement. They ask her to play Monopoly or some shit, I don’t remember.” He waved his hand dismissively. “And she says, set up the board, so they do.”
My stomach twisted with a familiar mix of frustration and anxiety.
“Then she goes off to her room, and when she comes back out, she’s dressed like a fuckin’ hooker, and she tells them to have fun.”
“Jesus,” I mumbled.
“They were confused as fuck, and I have no idea why,” he barked in frustration. “They know she doesn’t play fuckin’ board games! They fuckin’ know it!”
“They were hoping—”
“I know what they were hoping,” he choked out, struggling to keep his emotions under control. “So, then, Aisling starts fucking crying, and Ro is just starin’ at Mom in shock, and I fucking lost it.”
“Where are they?” I asked quietly. I wanted to hug him, but I knew he didn’t want me to. He was angry and upset, and I knew he hated that I was seeing him that way.