Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 48730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 244(@200wpm)___ 195(@250wpm)___ 162(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 48730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 244(@200wpm)___ 195(@250wpm)___ 162(@300wpm)
“What’s the point?” I asked dully.
I’d wrestled with the decision every day since we got to Oregon. Richie was probably frantic with worry, but I was too much of a coward to call him. I was afraid if I heard his voice, I’d give in and tell him to follow us. The longer we went without speaking, the harder it was.
“You know, we might be able to go back,” Cian said, raising his eyebrows. “If Aunt Ashley can get it all settled.”
“I’m not getting my hopes up,” I replied, stopping in the middle of the baking aisle. “That social worker was pretty fucking clear.”
“Yeah, but Aunt Ashley said it’s different if she’s the legal guardian, and she shifts it to you.”
“I don’t know how that’s possible. Sounds like bullshit.”
“It could happen.”
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I warned him. All of us were missing our house and everything familiar, but I couldn’t even think about moving home again. I’d focused so hard on getting us to Aunt Ashley that the idea of living in our house with the kids seemed like a pipe dream. Unattainable. Outlandish.
“We’ll probably have to go back to empty the house, at least,” Cian reminded me. “If we’re selling it.”
“I was talking to Aunt Ashley about that,” I said, putting a bag of flour into the cart. “If the house is paid off like she thinks, it might be smarter to rent it out for a while. It would be extra income.”
“Or we could get a big chunk of money all at once,” Cian said with relish. “We could get a boat or something.”
I let out an incredulous laugh. “A boat?”
“Boats are the shit.”
“If we sold the house, I think we’d have to split the money between us,” I said, bringing him back to reality as I grabbed a bag of sugar. “And none of you would get your portion until you were older. Like eighteen or something.”
“Well, that’s bullshit.”
“Not sure that giving an eight-year-old thousands of dollars is a good idea,” I pointed out.
“That’s a fuck-ton of Barbies,” he agreed reluctantly.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said with a sigh as we kept moving. “Wherever we end up, we’ll be together.”
“I never doubted it,” he said easily. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at me. “You know, Aunt Ashley would take us.”
I stared at the back of his head.
“You could move back with Richie. The four of us would stay together now. It’s not like we’d go to strangers or anything.”
I pushed the cart into the back of his legs, making him stumble.
“What the fuck?” he snapped, turning to face me.
“You stay with me,” I said firmly. “Got it?”
“I’m just saying—” He jumped out of the way with a nervous laugh as I pushed the cart toward him again.
“I don’t care what you’re saying,” I shot back. “It’s not up for discussion. We stay together. That’s it.”
“You could have a whole ass life.” He threw his hands up in the air.
“I like my life with you guys. I don’t want anything else.”
“Except Richie.”
“If things are going to work out with Richie, it’ll happen,” I replied. “That’s not my priority right now.”
“Fine,” Cian snapped. “If you want to just give up your whole life to be our mam, that’s your problem.”
“I’ve been your mam since you were Ronan’s age,” I argued in frustration. “Why would it be any different now? Because an aunt we hardly know is willing to step in? Fuck that.”
Cian’s mouth snapped shut.
“Where is this coming from?” I asked as we started walking again.
“I don’t know,” he replied, scuffing his shoe along the floor. “Aunt Ashley came out here and went to grad school, and she’s got that house and all that stuff.”
“And I bet she’s lonely,” I pointed out.
Cian laughed. “I don’t think she’s lonely,” he replied dryly.
He was right. From what we’d seen since we got there, Aunt Ashley seemed to have a very full life hanging with friends and traveling and working whenever she needed the money.
“Let me rephrase,” I said, laughter in my voice. “I would be lonely with that kind of life. I don’t want to be without you guys.”
“Fair enough.”
“But maybe that’ll be your life,” I said, bumping him with my shoulder. “College and grad school and some job that you barely have to do, and you still get paid loads of money.”
“Sounds boring,” he said with a grin. “Except the money part. That sounds sweet.”
“Come on, let’s finish this so we can get back. I don’t like the way Ronan’s been eyeballing those llamas.”
“They’re alpacas,” Cian corrected.
“What’s the difference?”
“No fucking clue.”
Later that evening, the kids were watching a movie while I baked. I’d never had a chance to make Cian’s cake for him, and I’d grabbed all the ingredients while we were shopping so I could remedy the situation. After the way he’d been my right hand for the last week, he deserved a little treat.