Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 412(@200wpm)___ 330(@250wpm)___ 275(@300wpm)
I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, pinching the bridge of my nose before running a hand over my face. “I think we’re going to need some coffee.” Because apparently, I wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.
I went into the kitchen, and Elijah followed me. He sat at the bar, watching as I moved around the space and got the caffeine brewing.
I stood on the other side of the counter, unsure what to say. “I don’t know what you expect from me here. You say I have sex with a lot of people like it’s a bad thing. I’m single and sexual, and the people I’m with want to be with me, so what’s wrong with that? There’s nothing wrong with safe, consensual sex with as many people as you want to have it with. And I can know something is okay and good for me, while acknowledging that it’s not the same for everyone else. Like you. I don’t think you do the casual-sex thing as often. I worry how it would affect Rural if he did it and then went back to being alone. Last, is it a crime to be confident? I’ve never understood that—disliking confident people. It would be different if I put others down or if I were mean to them. The same people who tout being strong in who you are, oftentimes are the same ones who will look at you differently if you are.”
“I don’t mean to do that.” Elijah shook his head. The thing was, I knew he didn’t. “Do I really do that?”
Yes, yes he did. “I think the coffee is ready.” With my back to him, I grabbed two mugs. “How do you take yours?”
“Oh my God. I’m an asshole. That’s totally what you’re saying.”
“By asking how you take your coffee?”
I could practically hear him roll his eyes, and damned if I didn’t grin. “It’s just…”
I began to turn around when he said, “No don’t. Keep your back to me, please.”
“Okay.”
“Sometimes I feel like the odd man out, if that makes sense. I’m not judging anyone or stereotyping, but it’s hard to find people our age who want the same things I do. And I’m not as good at that, ya know? The completely casual thing. Or even the confidence thing. I play it off, but I don’t feel it, and then I go back to how it was when I was younger, when I didn’t fit in. If it wasn’t for Danny… Ugh! I can’t believe I’m saying all this to you!”
Slowly, I turned around. What he’d said was part of the reason I didn’t think he was really in love with Danny. Danny represented comfort to him, security, and for whatever reason, Elijah not only needed that, but didn’t think he could get it elsewhere. “Email it to me.”
He frowned. “What?”
“If it’s easier, email it to me.”
“Right here? While we’re standing in the same apartment?”
I shrugged. “If it helps. I’m good at this, remember?” I winked, which earned me a smile. It was a cute smile. I liked it. He should show it to me more often.
I put one of the cups of coffee in front of him before grabbing sugar, a spoon, and creamer from the fridge and handing that over too. He doctored his cup, then I took a turn, and we were just…looking at each other.
“Who are you?” he asked again, this time without jamming his finger in my chest.
“Just Shaw.” It felt like an oddly intimate moment, which made the hairs on my arm stand on end. This was me and Elijah. We weren’t supposed to have these kinds of moments. Hell, I wasn’t real fond of having them with anyone. “Stop looking at me like you wanna jump my bones,” I teased, because I had to. I was getting all itchy from…I didn’t know. Whatever this was.
“You wish,” he replied, but he was smiling. Elijah took a sip of his coffee. “Do you really think you can help? With Danny?”
The itchy feeling didn’t go away. He was determined to do this thing with his friend. It also didn’t escape my attention that he’d changed the subject from emailing me or talking about all the mushy stuff. “I’m very good at what I do.”
“Have you done this part of it before? The…what are we even talking about here? Trying to make someone jealous?”
I shook my head, wanted to run as far away as I could. Why in the world I was willing to fake date, or hang out with, or whatever I was proposing with him, I didn’t know. But I had offered it, and I was still offering it, and well, I did like flirting with him, so I’d just blame it on that. “No, but I’m good at everything I do, so I don’t see why this would be any different.”