Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 86537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86537 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
I’d dreamed of reading to my kids, one book after the other. I wanted to do everything my parents hadn’t…as if that might patch one of the many holes inside me. Maybe it would work. Or maybe it was unfair to think a child could heal broken pieces. Chances were high that I’d end up creating my own brand of dysfunction.
Wasn’t that what humans excelled at? Fucking up and passing on the trauma?
I sat gingerly in the rocking chair Viggo had made, my teeth chattering. I splayed my palms along the armrest and imagined him shaping the wood and sanding it precisely…with intention.
Somehow, I knew he’d made the crib for Annika—something to honor her connection to Freya. A penance, a token of mourning, an expression of love through grief.
At least that was how it had started.
Now…it was something more. There was love in the dresser, the bookshelf, the rocker, in the countless hours spent in his workshop, in the doctors’ office, on the road between Wood Hollow and Burlington. It was for us. For me, for a child he didn’t know but would accept as his own if I were brave enough to ask. If I were brave enough to try.
Jag älskar dig. I repeated the words over and over in my head so I could look up the translation later, but I didn’t need to. I knew what they meant.
The realization rocked me to the core. He’d told me what he wanted. He’d just said it in another language. My eyes welled and tears ran down my face unchecked.
So this was love.
It was simple and yet, so complex. Two people with a fuckton of baggage, comparing notes and finding puzzle pieces that shouldn’t fit and somehow did. There was magic here. I could feel it. But I was afraid that once again, the timing was all wrong. And it fucking broke my heart.
CHAPTER 34
DEXTER
Knock knock
I checked the peephole, frowning as I unlocked the door. “What are you doing here? It’s so early.”
Reg looked every bit the imposing cop in his police uniform with his shiny badge and holster. If I didn’t know better, I’d worry I was about to get arrested for something.
“I’m doing a wellness check. And save your smartass comments about taxpayer dollars. Where were you last night?” He brushed past me into the foyer, his brow furrowed in concern.
“Am I in trouble?”
“I don’t think so. A patrol car saw your vehicle on Belvedere at two a.m. and according to Janey, you didn’t show up to open the store this morning, but you called her at six a.m., left instructions regarding today’s special, and said you’d be in a nine o’clock. It’s now ten fifteen.”
“It is?” I scratched my nape and padded into the kitchen.
“Janey’s worried. You’re not answering your cell. Also, she says Viggo didn’t come in for his usual seven a.m. fritter, and according to the officer on duty last night, there was no passenger in your SUV.”
“Oh, Jesus. Do you think there’s a dead body in my trunk?”
“No, but I think there might be a story, and since you’re not answering anyone’s calls—even the chief of police’s—I’m here to make sure you’re not dead.”
“As you can see, I’m alive and well. Want some coffee?”
Reg inclined his head. “Sure. Everything okay with the baby?”
“Yeah, but we had a scare last night.” I gave him a brief recap and assured my friend all was well.
Unfortunately, Reg had been trained to pay attention to details.
“Don’t you and Thor usually drive together?”
“His name is Viggo and yes, but…he was at work and had to drive from Rutland.” I slid a cup of coffee toward him and cradled mine for warmth. It was still fucking freezing in my house. “I was going to stay with Freya last night, but I came home instead.”
“Hmm.”
We sipped coffee leisurely as if neither of us had a million other things we should have been doing midmorning on a weekday.
“Is Gretchen going to dance this afternoon?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah. I meant to tell you she wouldn’t be coming by for her donut lesson, but that was before the whole town got up in arms, ready to call a search party for your ass,” he snarked.
I rolled my eyes. “This town…”
Reg quirked a smile. “I warned you about small-town living when you first rolled into Wood Hollow, but you’ve been here a while now, so I don’t think you mind so much.”
“No, I don’t. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Do you think you’ll ever get married again?”
Reg choked on his coffee. “Married? Whoa, Nelly. I dunno. I’m not seeing anyone and I don’t know if—”
“I meant…do you think it’s possible to have kids and raise them with someone who didn’t initially sign up for parenting? And yeah…I know the answer is theoretically yes, but—” I shoved a hand through my hair, aware that it had to be standing on end, and barreled on. “What about doing everything out of order? Is that bad for the child? Kids come first. That’s the rule. You said so yourself and—”