Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104802 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
“You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad word.” I turn my head away.
“I’m not. I’m just surprised. And maybe feeling a little guiltier about telling you I want to fuck you.”
That makes me turn my head back to him. “Why? Believe me, I’d rather not be a virgin. I’m just not the type of guy people usually go for.” Shut up, shut up, shut up. I really wish I wasn’t talking.
“You’re the kind of guy I go for.”
“School-obsessed and too skinny?”
“You’re not too skinny. I love your body.” His fingers dance down my stomach and then back up again. “It surprises me how much. I can’t look at you without wanting to tell you how fucking cute you are.”
Cute but not hot.
“Want to know a secret?” he asks, and I nod. “It’s kind of like I’m a virgin.”
“You were just telling me about all the threesomes you’ve had!”
He grins. “Yes, but I’ve never been with a man before.”
“You literally just told me you want to have sex with me.”
“No shit, but last I checked, we haven’t fucked yet, have we?”
The room spins slightly, my insides feeling like I’m on a merry-go-round that’s turning too fast. “If you’re not queer, then why do you want to have sex with me?”
“Clearly, I am queer because I want to have sex with you. I’ve just never met a man I wanted to fuck before, and now I have.”
I gulp. Cillian O’Shea has never been with a guy, and he chooses me? “Are you insane?”
He barks out a laugh. “Because I want to have sex with you? You seriously turn me on, Kitten. A lot of it is that attitude of yours.”
Up and down, up and down, he keeps touching me, making me tremble, making warmth spread to my groin, and my cock begins to grow.
Oh God. I cannot get hard right now. I would die.
“But if we do, if that ever happens for us, it would only be sex. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love.”
This time, it’s my turn to laugh. “How can you say that? I don’t do love. No one plans to fall in love. They just do. I’m not saying I would fall in love with you, but you can’t just say love is something you don’t do.”
“It’s something I won’t allow myself to do.” And for the first time, it’s Cillian who looks away, Cillian who has something else in his voice that tells me this is a big deal to him. That he’s been hurt.
“Why?”
“Daddy issues. Why else? Now we’re done talking about me. You haven’t fucked, but what have you done?”
My face heats again. I’ve never blushed so much in my life.
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to tell him. That wants to end this conversation now and not do…whatever this is I’m doing with Cillian. But there’s another part that wants to share, wants to talk to him, a part of me that feels like more because someone like him would be interested in me.
But that someone is a murderer.
A murderer who wants to protect me.
It’s all so damn confusing. I don’t know what to do or say, so I try to ignore that part of it and say, “Blowjobs.”
“Hmm. I like blowjobs.”
“With Rory.”
“Keep bringing it up, and I’m going to think you’re jealous, Kitten.”
“I am not.” But the way my stomach shifts says there’s a chance I’m lying.
“Good. Because I’d like blowjobs with you. If you decide you want that, you can be my first.”
My cock twitches, hardening at just the thought of that.
“Look at you getting hard for me. I’ve never touched a dick that isn’t my own. You want to be my first, don’t you?” Cillian’s fingers make a journey up and down my torso again. He’s so gentle with me. He’s never been anything but gentle with me.
“Please,” slips past my lips. I blush at having said it but don’t bother taking it back.
“We will. But not today. You’ve been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours. When I touch you, I’ll make damn sure you’re in the right headspace and you want it.”
I let out an embarrassing whine when his hand moves away.
“Get some rest. Your body needs it.”
This time, it doesn’t even bother me to do what he says. I’m too turned on and too much…everything right now to let myself even think anymore.
My eyes fall closed, and they don’t open again, not even when Cillian slips my glasses off, not even when he pulls me closer.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Cillian
It’s the middle of the afternoon, and Ollie’s out cold to the world.
That’s a good thing. He needs his rest so his body can heal, but I’m bored as shit. I’m not used to sitting around like this. There’s nothing else to do, so I end up just watching him.