Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 128356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
What?
Most of my life, he’s only ever considered me a tool, too, so I see nothing wrong with doing the same thing.
Besides, I don’t give a fuck about his sob stories and whatever happened between him and my mother. He still tortured me and gave me scars I can never erase. He’s lucky I still talk to him.
Even Violet, who sees the good in everyone, doesn’t comment on my choices or ask me to spend more time with him. She just says to do what feels right, and that she’ll always be there for me.
Which is why I’m also here for her.
Her eyes dart around as she touches her wrist. I can’t see it well since it’s half covered, but she changed her tattoo a couple of months ago.
From ‘Endure’ to ‘I’ve Endured Enough.’
And I couldn’t be prouder of her.
My hand finds her waist, and I draw her against me. “Is it around here?”
“It should be, but…” She searches the area, the morning light casting a glow on her face, turning her eyes liquid blue.
“But?” I stroke her hip beneath her shirt, gentle and slow, and she relaxes. Violet craves all these little touches, and it also happens that I do, too.
I love how she melts in my arms and flashes me a small smile or even hums gently.
“Everything’s changed,” she whispers, still caught up in the unremarkable neighborhood we’re visiting.
Her old neighborhood.
Violet chose to come here as part of her healing journey. An exercise about facing the past and letting it go.
And to finally bury the mother she couldn’t for over a decade.
“The whole neighborhood was redone. Our house has been turned into a grocery store.” She releases a humorless laugh. “Not that it was our house.”
I tighten my grip on her waist. “Does that make you feel bad?”
She shakes her head. “I’m glad it’s gone. Everything, including the closet and the room that smelled of black mold. If anything, I like that it was all demolished and changed shape. I won’t feel anything if I go into that grocery store.”
“So that’s a good thing?”
“Yeah. I can finally let go of this rotten limb that used to drag me down. My mother was dealt a bad hand, but it’s not my fault.”
“Good girl.”
She bites her lower lip. “Don’t call me that in public.”
“Why?” I lower my voice, speaking against her earlobe. “Does it get you hot and bothered?”
She smacks my chest teasingly, laughing. “Jude!”
“What? I’m giving you different memories in the place that tried to break you but failed.”
She faces me, wrapping both her arms around my waist. The way she looks up at me with that trust and love and complete adoration makes me want to shield her from the world.
To go back to the past and slay all her demons. To reach into her nightmares and kill the monsters that make her grow smaller.
She doesn’t have them as often now, and she’s no longer self-conscious about me seeing her in the throes of one. If anything, she wants me to hold her after them, burying her head in my chest and falling back asleep like that.
Violet has the type of soft, kind, and sometimes fiery personality that keeps me on my toes. I honestly refuse to remember my life before her and can’t imagine it without her.
“Thank you.” She smiles. “I’m glad I don’t have to face that closet. Saved you a panic attack.”
“Don’t say that. I don’t only love you on your good days, sweetheart. I love you more when you feel safe to be vulnerable with me.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with my stalker who used to hate me to bits?”
“You turned that hate into love, sweetheart.”
“I did?”
“Yes. You seem to have a lot of power over me.”
“Do you hate that?”
“Not if it’s you, no.”
“Good. Because you have power over me, too, so we’re equal.”
“God, I love you.” I stroke her cheek. “I don’t know in which ditch I’d be in if you weren’t in my life.”
“I don’t know if I’d still be alive if you weren’t in mine, Jude.” She gets on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “I loved you when I thought people like me don’t deserve love.”
“I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much you of all people deserve that love.”
And then I’m kissing her. Because I can’t stop kissing her.
Looks like I need to marry her soon.
Make her my wife.
My partner.
And the light in my otherwise dark world.
THE END