Total pages in book: 186
Estimated words: 176552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 883(@200wpm)___ 706(@250wpm)___ 589(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 883(@200wpm)___ 706(@250wpm)___ 589(@300wpm)
Fuck. That.
Honest to God, this was a testament to how well I’d hidden my obsession. Now I just had to figure out what to do with Brooke until her role was cut. I hadn’t touched her beyond a few distracted kisses and half-hearted messing around in weeks, maybe longer. I wouldn’t have cared in the slightest if she ended things first, but I knew she wouldn’t. In a situation like this, status always trumped genuine desire. It didn’t matter if Brooke wanted to drop me and run at this point. Our circles operated on some archaic-ass philosophies. If you weren’t set up to marry a wealthy stranger, you had better pray you found one you could tolerate who checked all the right boxes.
I never had to deal with that shit, thank fuck. Brooke’s parents were pushing it now, though. They wanted their daughter to secure the Voss name and all the perks that came with it. Unfortunately for them, my parents had loved my future wife from the moment it was announced she was being born.
There was never going to be a competition between Sanj and another girl, because she never needed to compete.
Thank fuck I only had to keep Brooke around a little bit longer. I moved toward her, ready to shut this down cleanly before she could turn it into something it wasn’t.
“Nothing is going on with me and Sanjana,” I assured her, voice even.
It wasn’t exactly a lie. If something were happening, I damn sure wouldn’t have been standing there with Brooke. But of course, I couldn’t say that part out loud. Brooke’s posture relaxed a fraction, though she kept playing with the hem of the hoodie she wore, a team-issue one with player names stitched across the back. She’d asked for it the other week, and I gave it to her because I had no intention of wearing it. I had another from freshman year at Crowsfell. Sanjana had my original. I gave it to her in high school after I lettered for the first time. That one meant something. Naturally, it was hers for the taking.
Brooke twisted the fabric tighter around her fingers. “I was never worried before, but she kind of…”
Now she had my attention. “She kind of what?”
She hesitated again. “Maybe I’m reading too much into it…”
This wasn’t jeopardy. Why couldn’t she speak in a full fucking sentence? I forced myself to soften, stepping closer and gently taking her hands, wanting the conversation to be over if she wasn’t going to say anything worth listening to. “What is it?”
She looked down at the hoodie she had on. “Was this hers?”
“No. She has her own.”
Brooke looked slightly thrown by my answer. I knew how that sounded, but I thought it was an important detail to be known in case her ego tried to swell too much.
“Oh. She kind of looked at me earlier. When she saw me in it.”
“She looked at you?” I repeated slowly. “How?”
She shrugged like she didn’t want to give the answer. “No specific way, really.”
Goddamn, this was like pulling teeth.
“You know what? Never mind, I’m sorry for even bringing it up.”
That made two of us. I had no intention of dragging this out any longer than I had to. I eased off and shifted my tone enough to disarm. I didn’t have to try hard. Reeling people in came naturally when you knew which version of yourself they needed most.
“Hey,” I murmured, brushing my thumb along her knuckles. “You don’t have to apologize for asking. I respect that you came to me with something that bothered you.”
I didn’t give a fuck what was bothering her, but the performance was for her benefit, not mine. Brooke softened immediately, like she’d just been waiting for the signal that things were fine again. She let out a small breath and stepped in, her arms sliding around my waist as she pressed her cheek against my chest. “I’m still sorry for making things awkward,” she murmured.
I looked down at the top of her head. There were things I could’ve asked her too, but I already knew the answers. Showing my hand now would push us into territory it wasn’t time to cross yet.
She tilted her head back, rising to press her lips against mine. At the same time, her hands slipped beneath my shirt, fingertips skating over my skin. My hands landed on her hips, not in invitation, but in containment. She took it as permission anyway, pressed in closer, her breath catching like she thought she was getting somewhere. I gently pushed her off me and took a full step back.
Her brows drew together. “Don’t you want to?” she asked, voice soft, unsure.
Did I want to fuck? That was rhetorical, but I wasn’t fucking her. We were well past that part of this drawn-out drama. The most I could tolerate were a few half-hearted hugs or some light petting, and even that thought turned my stomach. “I want a lot of things.” I brushed her hair off her cheek like it meant something. “Not all of them are good for you.”