Total pages in book: 186
Estimated words: 176552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 883(@200wpm)___ 706(@250wpm)___ 589(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 176552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 883(@200wpm)___ 706(@250wpm)___ 589(@300wpm)
She said some cliché bullshit along the lines of, “If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
I knew right then she was lying to me, just like she had earlier tonight. Everything that happened afterward solidified my reasons for staying away from relationships. She fell into the same pattern she had when I dated Ellie Newton, but worse. She assumed I needed space and made herself smaller. She was careful not to come off like a threat to any girl she thought I might be into. I hated seeing it. I went as far as calling her out on it, and that led to one of our rare arguments.
Looking back, I had been so focused on playing the part of just friends, thinking I was respecting boundaries I longed to torch, I overlooked something crucial about my girl—she was playing the same role I was.
She was holding back just as much as me. Maybe more. We’d both spent so long pretending we didn’t want each other, we almost convinced ourselves it was safer that way.
I was a fucking fool.
Here was this gorgeous girl, inside and out, perfect for me in every way, that I knew better than she knew herself, and I got so caught up trying to protect a friendship I already knew I’d outgrown, that I did more harm than good. Even my baby sister had pointed out the obvious, and that was fucking embarrassing. My parents and brother tried to reason it away. Said I was a young one then, AKA, a dumbass teenage boy, and they weren’t wrong. But I was dumb in ways other kids our age weren’t. Looking back, I realized that while this route might’ve aged me another ten years, everything happened for a reason. I had loved Sanjana so damn long that when we finally got this right, I would make up for all that lost time and ensure she never walked away.
Things with Sarah ended almost immediately after my sobering realization. Her friend even gave me a helping hand, albeit unknowingly. We were at an overcrowded weekend party in the hills, someone’s parents were out of town, and half the high school seemed to show up. I was sitting on the edge of a couch, drink in hand, when her best friend sat down beside me. I barely noticed at first. Next thing I knew, she was in my lap, hands on my chest. I told her to get off me twice, and she didn’t listen. Xander stepped in before I had to raise my voice. Pulled her off and told her to stay the fuck away from me and learn what no sounds like.
She never lived it down.
I ended things with Sarah the next morning in person so there could be no misunderstandings. If I knew she was going to turn around and take it out on Sanj, I would’ve handled it differently. I would have fucking buried her alive.
She didn’t have the spine to come at my girl directly, so it was subtle, underhanded bullshit. She made side comments, passive digs, and whispered loud enough to get under Sanjana’s skin, but she failed time and time again. The more Sass ignored her, the bolder she got. She went for the girl she knew meant everything to me because she needed someone to blame for being cut off. In her delusional ass mind, I couldn’t possibly be done with her. Never mind that we had no connection in the first place, and she didn’t know the first thing about loyalty.
When shit finally blew up, Roxxi had her face down in a pissy un-flushed toilet inside the girls’ bathroom. Nick and I had to pull her off before she did more damage than the knocked-out incisor and broken nose. To this day, it was an isolated incident. Sanj never knew it happened. She would’ve hated Roxxi fighting a battle she could win herself. Cloe knew, though. She had stood at the bathroom door like she was on payroll to bar entry. I remember the look she gave us when we showed up. “You better hurry,” she’d trilled with a smile.
We should have let Roxxi finish.
Sarah was the one who swung first.
Even after we got her off the ground, she talked a big game and made some idle threats. They didn’t hold much weight with piss and blood all over her face.
Our families stepped in quickly.
My father and Roxxi’s made a house call while Sarah was still recovering, reminding her dad of a few debts he owed and some tax records he wouldn’t want brought into the light. Ever since, Sarah had been playing model student. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that our families made sure she walked away with a new nose and a shiny smile.
“Fucking dumbass,” Nick fumed.
“You know he’s not all that bright,” Rook pointed out. He finally looked away from the window, eyes darker than usual. “He doesn’t deserve Sanj. Never has. Let him keep digging his own grave. Makes less work for me when I put him in it.”