Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 121887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
I burrowed closer.
“I see that was a mistake, Javier,” Austin replied.
“Why? Because you just gutted me? Or because you gutted them?” Javi demanded.
“All three,” Austin said, and now he sounded like a dying man.
“Congratulations. You’re batting a thousand on this dad shit,” Javi said while shuffling me back and then slamming the door.
I heard the lock go.
I heard another sob from Cath on the other side of the door.
I tipped my head back and looked up at my man.
“Sweetheart,” I whispered.
“What else does my place need?” he asked.
“Wh-what?” I asked back, perplexed at his question.
“I need a rug. Under the couch. It gets cold in winter. I’m not gonna have my woman running to get socks to keep her feet warm on my floors.”
He did need a rug under his couch. Everybody knew from The Dude that a rug brings a room together.
And sometimes (rarely) it did get cold in winter.
“Nightstands. A new dresser,” Javi continued. “More lamps. Good knives, so you can cut your fruit.”
I thought I was following him, and where he was leading was killing me.
I took my arms from around him so I could cradle his face. “Honey.”
“What else do I need?” he pushed.
“You have time,” I whispered.
“Fuck it, fuck it…fuck!” he exploded, pulling away from me and prowling into his living room.
I turned with him and took a couple of steps toward him but let him have his space.
He yanked a hand through his hair then dropped it, and his head.
As much as I detested his pose of defeat, I kept my silence and let him work through it.
He turned to me. “You didn’t tell me how pretty they are.”
Oh God.
It lasted all of two seconds, but I was done letting him work through it.
I raced to him and threw my arms around him.
He drew me closer and shoved his face in the side of my neck.
“I’m not gonna be able to not see them again,” he said into my skin.
I figured.
I was just going to kill Austin Atherton.
Metaphorically, of course.
I was so totally hijacking our sit-down with Nancy.
Me and the Angels were going to take a side trip to Millionaire Town for me to lay down the gol’ darned law.
I tipped my head back to catch his eyes. “Since I’m barely taking anything home, we need to grab your stuff and take it there so we can go shopping. No rugs. No lamps. Just a big Sephora haul so I can keep my skin healthy.”
“Babe—”
I pushed close. “You don’t have to prove anything to anybody. And you don’t have to go faster than you’re ready. You’re a smart guy. Eventually, you’ll get it. You’ll know you made it. You’ll see you’re on the other side. But you can’t rush it. It has to be at your comfort level.”
His lips quirked, thank God.
“Except a new nutribullet,” he remarked.
“I’m buying that.”
He frowned.
I pushed up on my toes to kiss it off his face.
When I rolled back, I ordered, “Go get your bag. Let’s get this show on the road.”
“All right, lil’ mama,” he muttered, bent, pressed his lips to mine then moved to the stairs.
I went to get the nutribullet.
“Babe,” he called.
I turned to see him halfway up the stairs.
“Yeah?”
“I got guilt,” he said.
Dang it.
“Honey, it isn’t on you that—”
“You’re not her.”
I shut up because I didn’t get what he was saying.
He explained.
“When she’d weave back into the real world in those days where that still happened, she was sweet, she loved her boy, and she was ravaged, because we were so fucked up and she didn’t know how to unfuck us.”
Oh.
He was talking about his mom.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I said.
“I know. But you’re not her. You bounce around and don’t say bad words, unless you’re seriously fuckin’ pissed, and you smile easy, but you got spine, you got grit, you don’t back down, you look after those who are yours. You go right to the mat for them.”
I loved it he got that from me.
“She’d do the same thing if she could, I’m sure,” I asserted.
“She would. But she couldn’t.”
This was tragically true.
“A boy, he’s supposed to look for a woman as good as his mom,” Javi said. “But I didn’t. She was dark. Not her fault. But she was dark. I searched for sunshine.”
Wet hit my eyes immediately. “That makes you feel guilty?”
“I need sunshine, Lolita.”
Even though tears were still in my eyes, I shot him the biggest smile I could muster. “Well, it’s good you found me.”
“Don’t ever mention quid pro quo again, Harlow,” he stated and pointed at the door. “You give me more than I could ever give you.”
Oh no he didn’t.
“That’s not true,” I returned.
“So I’m buying the smoothie thing,” he declared.
Oh no he didn’t!
“Javier Montoya, don’t you use your tragic past to pull stuff over on me.”
He grinned, wide and white. “Get used to it, lil’ mama.”