Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 57139 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57139 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Ever since then they’ve been close, mom and Ezra, thick as thieves actually. I think it’s because she took the bowing as him addressing the queen of the house rather than respect, but I’m not going to correct a damn thing. Not when he’s the reason I get pumpkin bread first every Thanksgiving instead of my sister. He was already sitting next to her at the table drinking his first mimosa.
“Harper!” Oh no, she was using the high-pitched voice.
I shot a glare to Ezra. What did he say? How much did he divulge? Was he already drunk? My eyes said all the questions without my mouth doing any of the work and because I couldn’t see his through his thick glasses he merely stared back and slowly lifted the glass to his mouth and sipped.
Betrayer!
Where the hell was the loyalty? I pulled out a chair next to him. “Yes?”
“Tell me all about him!” She gushed folding her hands on her lap like we were about to start braiding hair and painting nails. “I’m so curious! I’ve been following the blog—very clever, I’m sure Aunt Trudence would be proud and I do hope you succeed with your little project.” And there it was; little project. Did she not understand I actually made money as an influencer on top of teaching? That it actually afforded me the nicer things in life as well as extra art supplies for the kids in my class? Did it matter? I liked my job, furthermore, my channel was a good outlet for my teacher rage. Before the whole ‘dating my exes’ thing I’d gained quite the following over “Stuff my Students Say.”
It's another reason Ezra loved volunteering with my class. He learned new things and loved how they publicly shamed me at such a young age. Said he found it charming. While I found it alarming they knew how.
“Him?” I repeated slowly. “Just what him are we discussing right now?”
Ezra shrugged, the picture of innocence, like they hadn’t just been whispering about me over cocktails and croissants.
Then he snorted.
Not the good kind of snort—the bad kind. The one I knew too well. The one laced with judgment.
He shoved his neon glasses up his nose and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed in what could only be described as peak arrogance.
“I think,” he said, dragging it out, “she means the lovely… Vex.”
Mom clapped her hands together like a trained seal at feeding time. “How do I not know about him? The one that got away! The perfect boyfriend!”
Her voice got louder with each word until I was certain the neighbors now thought my love life had a studio audience.
“Vex!”
I clenched my teeth and shot Ezra a desperate look for help.
He answered by chugging his mimosa like this was a spectator sport.
Great. The least he could do was help me keep the lie straight.
I looked between Mom and my own mimosa. “Just… need a drink first.”
Tossed it back. Tried to remember all the ridiculous attributes I’d given this fictional man.
Perfect skin.
Long, messy, inky-dark hair with… oh God… shots of gold.
Why had I said shots of gold? Like he was the brooding cover model for some torrid romance novel. What real man had hair like that? Was I high when I made him up?
“He’s tall,” Ezra finally supplied. “Really tall. Muscular. She’d go on and on about the size of his—”
I choked mid-swallow.
“—heart!” he finished, with zero remorse.
Ezra grinned. “Yeah, that’s it. His massive, ginormous, hardened-but-found-its-softness heart.”
I was going to kill him.
Mom took a deep, dreamy breath and smiled up at the ceiling like she was imagining her daughter’s future AI boyfriend in glorious HD.
That was when Dad walked in, burped, set his flip phone on the counter, and sneezed.
“Dog’s knocked up again,” he announced.
“She’s not knocked up, she’s just fat,” Mom said sharply. “Now you’re interrupting. Harper was just telling me about Vex!”
Dad barked out a laugh, slapping his hand against the counter. “Honey, he’s clearly gay. A man that perfect? Doesn’t exist. And if he does, he’s just looking for a lavender marriage—which is totally fine by me. I’d take a nice gay son-in-law any day. One who knows to cut flowers for my daughter, set them on the counter, make her breakfast, watch reality TV…”
He paused. “You deserve a friend who’ll cry over The Bachelor with you and won’t steal your boyfriends—wait. Actually, I guess he could steal a boyfriend from you. Huh. Didn’t think that through. Well, I’m sure there are rules for that sort of thing.”
I deadpanned, “Don’t know, Dad. Never really considered a lavender marriage since my dating life is overflowing with stellar options.”
Honestly, the idea was looking better by the day—especially since I was actively hiring Vex.
“Anyway,” I said brightly, pasting on my best fake smile, “It’s fine. Between these guys, Vex included, and all the organization Ezra nearly had an orgasm over, I’m going viral. Everything’s going to plan. Totally fine. Right, Ezra?”