Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157162 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Still, I bristled against it, the inference that I couldn’t take care of myself, that a man had to take care of me.
“It’s cute that you think I can’t handle anyone who was ever brave enough to try to hurt me,” I scoffed, drumming my nails along the keyboard.
Rowan stared at me, not saying anything, his simple gaze probably trying to unravel the loose threads of my hastily knitted lies and distractions.
I didn’t blink, having experienced enough dick swinging staring contests. Although most were with men trying to best me, bring me down, make me submit. It was considerably harder when the man in question was simply worried about me.
But I managed.
And Rowan blinked first.
“Jesus, Cal. It’s okay to be human sometimes,” he sighed in defeat, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s okay to talk. Ask for help. You can’t be staunch all the damn time.”
I raised my brow. Rowan was one to talk. When he got back from deployment with shadows permanently etched beneath his eyes, he’d moved away from all of our family to start a business hours away, then threw himself into it so he didn’t form any meaningful connections.
I waved at him. “Hello pot, it’s me kettle. We seem to be a similar shade of black.”
He grinned, shaking his head. Though the grin didn’t last for long. With Rowan, it never did. “Cal, I’m man enough to know when to back off, and I sense I’m not the one who’s gonna get the truth outta you. Not yet, at least. I’m also smart enough to know my formidable, successful, hurricane of a sister did not come to Jupiter for the scenery or a job with shit pay.”
“You don’t pay me,” I corrected him. “And I babysit. For free.” I didn’t add that I’d pay him for the opportunity to be with my nieces.
Money was one of the few things I didn’t need to worry about.
“Shit pay,” he nodded. “You’re not a small-town woman. And you were born in a small fucking town. From the day you entered the world, you were determined to conquer it. Mom always joked you’d become a dictator.”
I sighed, as if the exhale could brush away the complicated feelings I had for my well-meaning parents who simultaneously didn’t understand me and knew me in ways I couldn’t fathom. “Only men have the need to take over regimes.”
His head swung side to side in disagreement. “Seriously, Cal. You came here because something shook you. And if it shook you of all people, it scares the shit out of me. You’re in trouble.” His voice vibrated with worry. With menace. He’d been stewing on this for a while.
I quirked my head. “If I’m not in trouble, I’m not breathing.” I forced casualness into my tone.
“Yeah, you’ve been in shades of trouble your entire life,” he agreed, tapping his finger on the island counter. “But this is different. I may not know the specifics, may not know anything, but I know this is different. Right now, I’m gonna let you shut me out. But the second I sense it’s getting too big and too fucking dangerous, I’m stepping in.”
I closed my laptop with a little more force than necessary. “Rowan, I get you. You came out of the womb with alpha basically stamped on your forehead. And it only got worse when you deployed. It’s in you to do this.” I waved my hand between us. “Protect, take care of, take control.” I paused, staring at my brother, the one I loved with all my heart. One of the few men I’d die to protect. “But I promise you, you step in to my business, I’ll fucking ruin you.”
My voice was ice cold, words sharper than they needed to be. I hated myself a little for speaking to my brother like that. Not enough to follow up with an apology, though. This was about protection. Protection for myself, yes, but most importantly, protection for my well-meaning brother and his entire family.
Yes, I understood he was a badass former soldier who had done things, hurt people, killed people. He wasn’t exactly some naïve, small-town boy who couldn’t handle himself. He was capable of defending himself pretty fucking well. He was noble. A hero of sorts.
But the problem was that the people I was tangled up with weren’t just villains, there was no nobility, no rules. They possessed a kind of ruthlessness that even Rowan wouldn’t be able to match up against.
Heroes didn’t fare well against the real villains of this world.
Rowan was eyeing me without the coldness I deserved. Without resentment. Still, worry lingered on his face. And I saw defeat too.
He nodded once. Defeat.
I didn’t let it show, but I was immensely relieved. Though I considered myself unbreakable—many, many men had tried to break me without so much as a crack to serve as evidence—this conversation was showing me how close to exploding and divulging it all I was. Had he pushed just a little harder, it might’ve all come out.