Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 286(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
“He has that now. Lennon has always had a wonderful family. That may be hard for you to hear, but it’s true.”
“Now you’re lying to yourself. That little boy in there wants a father, and by God, I want to be that. I don’t know how to do it or even if I can, but I need to try. It’s my job. Mine. Not my brother’s.”
She sighs. “It shouldn’t be a job at all, Jake.”
“Damn it, Katie–”
“I’m planning on leaving around noon,” she huffs. “You will need to be here by then.”
“How about we leave at ten? I’ll buy you both breakfast in town,” I suggest.
She gives me a sad smile, and somehow, I think I failed some type of silent test.
“Lennon likes to eat breakfast with his grandmother. Besides, I can’t leave until I get her settled and make sure Mrs. Keskey next door is able to come and check on her regularly. That's usually around eleven.”
Shit. I completely forgot about Hazel—Katie’s grandmother.
“Okay, I’ll swing by the diner in town and get us all pancake platters so you don’t have to cook and can sleep in. I’ll bring breakfast around ten.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don't have to. I want to, Katie. I’m trying here. Can you let this anger between us settle enough to at least see that?”
“I see it. I’m just not sure I trust it.”
I bite my tongue. There’s a lot I want to say, but I can’t. I meant what I said. I’m putting Lennon first, and my relationship with him is more important than trying to defend myself against people who never gave me a chance to be Lennon’s father to begin with.
“I’ll be here at ten,” I tell her, turning to walk back toward the front door. I hear her fall in step behind me. Bitterness churns inside of me. She’s so anxious to get rid of me that she’s practically racing to get me out of here.
I open the door, then, at the last minute, turn to look at Katie. I clear my throat. “I’ll see you and Lennon tomorrow.”
She lets out a breath. “Tomorrow.”
I nod my head in quick agreement and walk out.
Katie thinks she’s going to have trouble being around me tomorrow. If she knew the trouble I was having holding back from tearing her into shreds for keeping Lennon a secret from me, she’d probably skip the country…
Hell, maybe she’d chase my bastard brother down.
He’d enjoy that. He’d probably even throw it in my face. Maybe I need to show him that he is the second choice and always has been…
CHAPTER 10
Katie
I don't know who Jake is trying to fool. Maybe he thinks I’m still the lovestruck, stupid fool that I always was for him. I’m not. My blinders were stripped away the day Jake stopped taking my calls and left me a letter that ripped out my heart. It killed me at the time, but it’s just an aching sadness inside of me now. I hoped one day that I’d be able to get over Jake completely, but if he keeps insisting on being a part of Lennon’s life, I’m not sure that’s going to happen. He’ll always be in my face, opening old wounds.
Jake has a right to be mad. I kept Lennon a secret for three years, before I worked up the nerve to let Jake know. I thought I was keeping the secret for him, but maybe it was for me too. If I wasn’t enough for Jake, I didn’t want him to be with me just because of the baby.
God, that sounds fucking petty and selfish. I mean, it’s not as cut and dry as it sounds, but there’s definitely some truth in it.
The point is, I see the anger boiling beneath the surface every single time he looks at me. Jake’s trying hard to play nice, but I don’t trust him. I’m a country girl, and you learn from an early age not to turn your back on a snake because it will strike when you least expect it.
It doesn’t help that I’d rather be hog-tied and beaten than spend the day with Jake. This is for Lennon, though. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t have a relationship with his father.
I look over at my nightstand and frown. Jake will be here soon and all I’ve managed to accomplish is a shower. My gaze lingers on my cell lying there. I want to pick it up and call Jeff again so badly that it’s hard to resist–but I do. If he can walk away without a word, he’s just like his brother. Maybe it’s time I learn that I deserve better than the crap the Ryan boys keep dishing my way.
With a sigh, I push my thoughts out of my head. How many times have I given myself a pep talk about just moving forward? I’ve lost count. I thought I was done. I thought I had found happiness.