Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“Oh really?” Liz sounded intrigued.
“Why do you say it like that?”
“Well, if he’s helping, the dynamic between you must have shifted. You were barely speaking to him when you first got there. You said he was colder than the weather, remember?”
A lot had changed in the week since I’d returned to Dry River. I no longer felt like a stranger in Evan’s house. I looked forward to waking up in the mornings, looked forward to seeing him and Effie in the evenings and taking a warm shower with Effie’s pomegranate bodywash. Evan’s was starting to feel like home—and that was dangerous.
“Maybe that’s a good reason not to give up on finding a place,” I admitted.
“If things are going well, why would you still want to move?”
“Because I’m starting to feel things I shouldn’t, given the state of my life right now. I’m too vulnerable.”
“Feeling things for the little girl…or for him?”
“Both, to be honest. There’s just something about being at their house that reminds me of home. It’s the only semblance of home I have left here. But that’s unsettling for obvious reasons.”
It wasn’t really Evan’s house that brought me comfort, though. It was Evan. He’d been a piece of my family at one time, too. The more I was around him, the more I remembered the good times we’d had, the way we’d challenged each other to be the best versions of ourselves.
“The universe works in funny ways, Chloe. Maybe God brought Evan into your life again because He knew you couldn’t go through this alone.”
“I don’t know…” It might’ve been nice to think that, yet I had a hard time believing God was anywhere to be found these days, considering what had happened to my mother.
“You said you were there for Evan during a tough time in his life, right? Maybe this is a way of him being there for you.”
“He didn’t choose to be here for me, though,” I clapped back.
“Sure he did. He hasn’t told you to leave. That’s choosing you.”
“Not wanting to kick me out and choosing me are two different things.”
“You said he helped you at the storage unit.”
“Okay…” I sighed. “Your argument is getting stronger by the second.”
“I know it is.” Liz chuckled.
After the phone call, I took a seat in the middle of the storage space to rest and reset. I flipped open one of my old diaries and read.
Evan is off to Germany in a week. It feels surreal. It’s not like he’s going to war or anything, though. At least I hope not. I wish he wasn’t leaving. But he says he’s only going to do four years so he can get school paid for. I hope it goes by fast, and I hope he’s not different when he comes back. His mom’s been gone now for a month. I wonder how Carmen would feel about Evan joining the Army?
I found condoms in Evan’s room. I wasn’t snooping. My mom gave me some of his clothes that she’d washed to put on his bureau. The drawer next to his bed was open a little, and I saw them. It made me jealous. But there’s nothing I can do. It’s not like I thought he was a virgin.
I’m scared. Anything can happen to him overseas. But Evan doesn’t seem scared. He says he wants to see the world. I wish I could see it with him. Just not in the Army. He’s brave. I’ll pray that everything turns out okay. I’m super sad. So is Fawn. I have a feeling she has a crush on Evan, too. The only thing good about him going away is that Fawn can’t date him. She’s old enough to have a better chance than me. But she’s only sixteen, and I don’t think Evan would date a sixteen-year-old. Evan is eighteen, and once I heard him say he thought our neighbor’s daughter was hot. She’s older than him—like twenty. But still, if he’s away, I don’t have to worry about Fawn liking him anymore. I’d still rather have Evan here, though. Safe and sound at home. Please, God, protect Evan.
Thankfully, Evan had made it home safely and virtually unscathed. I realized how lucky he was compared to so many others who had served the country and never returned. His time in the military had ended up being a very good decision for him. Not only was his tuition at the state college he’d eventually attended covered, but he said he’d learned so much about discipline and responsibility while serving. I was sure those four years away had helped shape who he was today, helped him to be a strong and responsible father.
I chuckled at what I’d written: I hope he’s not different when he comes back.
Of course he wasn’t the same when he returned to Dry River. But not in a bad way—he was older, with more life experience, and he carried himself a bit differently. The boy I remembered had transformed into a man, one with a buzz cut that would slowly grow back out into the thick mane of black hair he still had to this day. His shoulders had been broader after he got back, his muscles more defined. After he came home from Germany, the crush I’d had on him since I was twelve transformed into what had felt like a true connection as we spent more time together. Seventeen and twenty-two was nothing compared to twelve and seventeen.