Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Earlier this morning, I’d gone to the market while he was still sleeping to pick up some things for breakfast. I’d cooked bacon and eggs with toast for us, and we’d just finished eating when Scott brought up Evan.
“What was with the attitude I got from that guy?”
I played dumb. “From Evan?”
“Yeah. Who else? He nearly broke my hand with that handshake. Does he have his sights on you or something?”
I straightened in my seat. “Trust me, Evan doesn’t want me that way.” At least that’s what I’d thought until our laundry room moment yesterday.
“Why do you say that?” Scott pushed.
I decided to be honest. “Because when we were younger, I made a pass at him, and he shot me down.”
“Oh, so you’re the one who’s into him?” Scott huffed. “That’s what you’re trying to say?”
“I did have feelings for him when I was younger. That was a very long time ago, though. Nothing ever happened.”
Scott narrowed his eyes. “You don’t really look like you’re over it. You get all weird and fidgety when you talk about him.”
“He and I were practically kids then. We’re grown-ass adults now, and neither of us asked for that living situation. It just happened. You’re reading into things.”
“Am I? Because you never mentioned that you were living with him. And you haven’t seemed like you wanted me here from the moment I arrived. We haven’t even had sex, and we’ve been apart for weeks.”
“I wasn’t going to have sex with you in a room right next to an eight-year-old’s.”
“And what about last night here?” he challenged.
I twisted my ring around my finger. “I told you, I got my period.”
I’d lied about that. This was not good, and I knew it. Things were close to hitting a boiling point with us.
Scott rolled his eyes. “Okay, aside from that, I’m getting a strong feeling that I somehow interrupted your peace.”
“Being here and handling my mother’s affairs is hardly peaceful for me, Scott.” I couldn’t allow this to go on a second longer. Say it. “But if I’m being honest… I don’t think I can do this with you anymore.” My heart raced as the words poured out. “I can’t maintain this relationship and handle all of the other stuff. I need to be alone right now. And I’m so sorry you came all the way out here, only to have me do this, but I can’t pretend all week with you when this is how I feel.”
His mouth dropped open. “I can’t believe this.”
I let out a breath. “You know we had things to work on even before this. We had our issues. And you’ve always wanted more from me than I can give between my job and what’s happening here in Dry River. That’s stolen a lot of my mental energy. I’m just trying to get ahead of things right now so I don’t waste any more of your time. You deserve someone who can focus on a relationship.”
The color drained from his face. “You’re serious?”
I hesitated. “Yes.”
He pushed his chair back and stood. “Well, there’s no sense in me staying here with you if you don’t want me.”
I stood. “Please don’t be upset. I’m just trying to be true to myself and to you. You shouldn’t be stuck in limbo because of me.”
Scott stormed out of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” I asked, even if that was the dumbest question on Earth.
“Where do you think I’m going?” he shot back. “To grab my shit and leave.”
I followed him. “I’m so sorry, Scott. I truly am.”
He whipped around. “You can save the apologies. In fact, it’s better if you don’t say anything else at all. Let me leave with my dignity. I don’t need to hear more reasons why I’m all wrong for you.” He practically screamed, “Jesus Christ, why didn’t I see this coming?”
I jumped, even though his reaction was understandable. With my mouth closed, I went back down the hall and I sat alone in the living room, bouncing my legs while Scott gathered his things. After a few minutes, I heard the door slam behind me and then the sound of his rental car starting up and driving off. I listened until I could no longer hear the engine in the distance.
A calm came over me. The weight of my unresolved situation with him had been hanging over me for quite some time. Not only had I felt guilty about my attraction to Evan, but I knew it wasn’t fair to string Scott along. The fact that I hadn’t missed him since I’d been here really helped me see even more clearly where my heart was. I should’ve ended things before I left Chicago, but was proud of myself for not being too afraid to do the right thing now. Scott had handed me an opportunity with this surprise visit, and I’d taken it.