Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“Which was getting back together with Katerina.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “And eventually marrying her.”
“When you broke up initially, before you knew she was pregnant, who initiated it?”
“I did.” He looked up from his glass, his stare penetrating. “And I think by now you can figure out why.”
My chest felt hollow. “I never imagined that you had feelings for me at that time. I was off in college, oblivious to it all.”
“Well, that was a good thing, considering what happened. It would’ve been harder if I’d gone out there, reconnected with you, and then gotten the news.”
“I think you’re right. That would’ve been devastating.” I sighed. “So Katerina took you back, and you made it work for the sake of the baby…”
“It wasn’t that simple. Neither of us wanted a kid at that time. The idea took some getting used to. She also didn’t quite trust that we should get back together. She felt like I was forcing it, and that was the truth for a while.”
“Did you ever love her?”
“I grew to, yes. Especially after Effie was born.”
That made my stomach a little unsettled. It was easier to just assume he’d never had true feelings for Effie’s mother.
Evan adjusted his position on the couch. “You know how if you want something bad enough, sometimes you can make it happen, or at least maybe trick yourself into believing it? That’s how it was with Katerina. I had myself so convinced that our marriage needed to work that I developed tunnel vision. I didn’t look at other women. I tried not to let myself wonder what my life would be like out of that relationship. I just became determined not to fail, and in the process, I fell for it. I’d always been attracted to her, and back in the early days, she was a really good mother. Watching her grow and love on my daughter? It did make me love her, too.”
Heat crept up my neck. I couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous, even if there was no basis for it anymore. I didn’t know Katerina, but I did know she’d gotten to experience things with Evan that I hadn’t. And she’d thrown it all away.
“When did things start to change?” I asked.
“When Effie was about four. It was as if all of the progress we’d made started going in reverse. One night I had a bit too much to drink and confessed that I was having doubts about the marriage and wasn’t feeling fulfilled. After that, Katerina started going out with her friends more, leaving me home with Effie at night. It was a pretty dramatic change. It was like my admission led her to realize she’d been feeling the same way.” He exhaled. “I thought we could work it out. When I opened up to her about how I was feeling, I hadn’t meant for it to end the marriage. But she only spiraled more and more after that. Going out morphed into overnights with friends. Before I knew it, she’d asked for a separation and then started dating the guy she’s with now.”
I nodded. “And it only got worse from there…”
“Correct. She went from not wanting the marriage to not wanting a family at all…and then not even being physically present.”
I shook my head. “I can’t imagine what that was like for Effie.”
“Effie was so much younger when her mom first left. It’s harder now that she has more awareness, more of an understanding of right and wrong.”
“The guy Katerina’s with, does he have any children?”
“No.”
Staring at my reflection in the glass, I fell into a daze. “I’m still in shock that you ever planned to come to Chicago. I’m trying really hard not to feel cheated because I would never wish for Effie not to be here. I do think things happened the way they were meant to.”
He nodded. “Everything happens for a reason. I tell myself that all the time.”
Nonetheless, my understanding of what could’ve been now cast a shadow over the evening.
Evan broke the mood, though, when he slid his hand over to my thigh.
My breath hitched. “What are you doing?”
“I want you,” he whispered. “Right now.”
“We can’t with Effie in the house.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t want you.”
I reciprocated, reaching over to cup his package. It was hard and throbbing.
“You weren’t kidding.” I ran my tongue along my bottom lip.
“What do you expect when you come in here and give me a show with those beautiful tits? If it weren’t so damn cold, I’d sneak you outside and fuck you in my truck right now.”
“You romantic, you. That’s a step down from the closet.”
He chuckled, and I abruptly stood.
His brows furrowed. “Where are you going?”
“Putting you out of your misery.”
He rose to his feet. “What do you mean?”
“The longer I stay out here with you, the harder it’s going to be since we’re both horny. I might as well just go to bed.”