Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132464 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 530(@250wpm)___ 442(@300wpm)
The video abruptly ends.
I lean back in my chair, my heart exploding with yearning and regret and sympathy. Oh my God. Kat. My Party Girl with a Hyphen. My beautiful unicorn.
The woman I love.
Oh my God, yes. It’s suddenly as obvious to me as the nose on my face: I love Kat. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize it. I love Katherine Ulla Morgan and I can’t live another day without her. I can’t fucking breathe without her. Jesus Fucking Christ. What the fuck have I been doing this whole past week, staying away from the woman I love? I should have been comforting her—taking care of her—telling her we’re in this cluster-fuck of a situation together. I should have been strong enough—compassionate enough—man enough—to tell the voices in my head to shut the fuck up.
I feel like the earth has suddenly broken off its axis and hurtled uncontrollably into space. Oh my God. I love Kat—and I should have been there for her this whole past week while she was dealing with Colby’s injuries and the shit-storm her life’s become, rather than sitting around moping and wallowing in self-pity and fear. Oh my God. I’m such a prick. An immature, self-involved, pussy-ass of a little prick.
I pick up my phone, adrenaline coursing through my body.
“Hi,” Kat says softly, answering after one ring.
“Hi,” I reply. “I got your video, Kat—I saw the grape.”
Kat exhales. “I’m so sorry, Josh.” She lets out a little yelp.
My heart squeezes. “You have nothing to apologize for,” I say, emotion overwhelming me. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“You? But I’m the one who forgot to take my pill.”
“Kat, so what? Birth control pills aren’t one hundred percent effective in the best-case scenario. So we took a slightly higher risk than I’d originally realized. It was a fucking accident.”
“But you trusted me and I screwed up.”
I scoff. “Who could remember to take a pill with the schedule we were keeping in Vegas? Seriously, Kat, if the situation were reversed, I would have missed a whole week’s worth of pills, I guarantee it.”
Kat lets out a little whimper.
“Whatever the increased odds were after missing one pill, I’m sure I would have taken them in advance, I just wanted to fuck you so goddamned much.”
Kat laughs through tears.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a prick this week—I guess I had some shit to work out.”
“You haven’t been a prick—you’ve just been extremely polite.”
“I made you feel like you’re alone in this, and you’re not.”
Kat sniffles loudly but doesn’t say anything for a long beat. “I thought maybe you were done with me, Josh. I was scared you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Done with you? Are you mad? No fucking way.”
Kat breathes a huge sigh of relief.
“Are you done with me?” I ask, holding my breath.
“No fucking way,” she says. “I’ll never be done with you, Josh. Never.”
My heart lurches like a guard dog on a leash. “So, hey, how ’bout that grape,” I say. “Pretty crazy, huh?”
“Crazy corn chowder,” Kat replies.
“That’s a total Henn-ism, you know.”
“I think that’s where I got it.” She sniffles again.
“Seeing the baby’s heartbeat made everything seem so real,” I say softly.
“Totally,” she agrees. “This shit is real, man.”
“Crazy.”
“You know, it’s so weird,” she says quietly, “but when I saw the heartbeat, I started feeling protective about the grape—like I don’t want anything to happen to it, after all.”
“Immortality through reproduction, remember? It’s evolution, baby.”
“But I’ve never wanted a baby. I don’t even think babies are cute. They just look like tiny old men.”
“Your heart’s answering the call of the wild, babe.”
“But it’s so unlike me.”
“Yeah, I guess we’re both doing things we never thought we’d do, huh?” I pause, hoping Kat will address her soul-crushing rejection of me in the hospital, but she doesn’t. “So, hey, PG,” I say, clearing my throat. “It turns out I’m moving on Wednesday.”
“Yay,” she says.
“I’ve got to see you,” I say, my heart racing. Fuck me. That’s the understatement of the century.
“Shoot,” Kat says. “Wednesday’s not good for me. Colby’s getting out of the hospital and my entire family’s gonna hang out with him. Can we do Thursday?”
“Thursday it is. I’ll text you my new address. Seven o’clock?”
“Great. I can’t wait to see your new house.” She pauses. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Same here. I’ve missed you,” I say. I clutch my chest. Jesus, I can barely breathe.
“Josh, I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers. “I’ve been feeling like I’m dying.”
“Me, too, babe. Exactly. I’ve been in physical pain without you. You have no idea.”
I can hear her smiling over the phone line, even as she sniffles. “Really?”
“Hell yes. I’ve been miserable.”
“Me, too,” she says softly. She sniffles again. “I’ll be counting the minutes until Thursday. And maybe Friday, too? Because... you’ll be living here, so . . ?”