Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
“I heard it was better than that. Like, were you as good as you are at blowing a guy?”
“Even better.”
“Oh, wow,” he teases, and I can tell he’s trying to cheer me up. “Seriously, though. What’s the issue?”
I quiet, thinking through all the shit I’ve kept to myself since the Combine. “It feels like I did it already. And the schedule’s wild. I don’t want to spend the next several years of my life training and playing.”
“What would you do instead?”
“I enjoy working at the shop. I wouldn’t mind doing that for a bit, see where that takes me. But…it’s a lot of change, really fast. Now that they’re getting a divorce, I’ve been having second thoughts. Wondering if it would be better to not have everything in my life change next year, you know?”
His gaze is distant as he says, “Better than you might think,” and I can tell by his somber expression there’s more to it. A lot more.
Now he’s got me curious. “Anything you want to talk about?”
His mouth opens like he’s about to say something, but then he purses his lips, as if determined to keep it in. I don’t intend to push, but finally he says, “When my brother was twelve, we were supposed to go visit our cousins. I wound up sick that weekend, so I stayed home. While he was on the trip, our cousins got the bright idea to get out the ATVs and take them through the woods. My brother was on the back of one when it flipped, and…” He chokes up before continuing, “He was in the hospital for a while, and when he got out, he couldn’t walk, and it was a very difficult time for him…for our family.”
I knew his brother was in a wheelchair, since he’s visited the Alpha Theta Mu house a few times, but I didn’t know any of these details. And I really feel for the guy.
“I’m so sorry, Mart,” I say, sliding my hand up from his abs to his side and gripping gently.
He rests his hand on top of mine, doesn’t even seem to notice he’s doing it as he tears up. “It was dark for a while. He was depressed, which I think anybody would be. And we had to help him a lot in the beginning. Gradually, things got better, and now he’s totally fine and doesn’t even want me to help him with shit. He’s so much stronger than I would’ve been if it’d happened to me. I’m so proud of him, but…” He stops himself, and I can tell there’s something else lingering on his mind.
“What?” I press.
“I can’t ever stop thinking that had I been there, I would’ve stopped them.”
My jaw drops. He blames himself for what happened to his brother. Suddenly his obsession with safety and rules makes a lot more sense.
“Oh, Mart.” I flip my hand over, gripping his gently. “You know that’s not how it works.”
“He shouldn’t have been on that ATV. I would have stopped it. I could have stopped all this. Saved him all this pain. Fuck.” He bats at his eyes with the back of his free hand. “Sorry, that was not what I was expecting to get into. I wanted to say that I know what it’s like to have your whole life—everything you knew about it and everything you thought it would be—change in an instant.”
“I’m glad you told me. You know, despite what you think of me, I’m actually a good listener too.”
“I’m learning…slowly but surely.” He snickers. “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now.”
I shrug. “I’ll figure it out. That’s what college is all about, right? Now roll.”
“What?”
“Roll. I’m gonna cuddle you. You look like you could use a good cuddle, and I could use one too.”
I’m glad he doesn’t put up a fight, just rolls away from me, and I move close, my pelvis against his firm ass. I drape my arm around him, tugging him close. He relaxes into my hold, taking a deep breath, offering me instant relief, and I nestle my face against his neck, thinking about all he just shared. It gives me a new perspective on the guy I thought was trying to be the biggest pain in the ass.
Maybe his best friends know this side of him, but most of the frats don’t see this part. He doesn’t let them see it. To them, he’s the party pooper of Alpha Theta Mu, and now I feel I understand why he’s like this. At least, something that contributes to it, for sure.
“Guess I’m starting to get why you’re always looking out for the guys,” I whisper.
“Maybe. I was always prone to anxiety, but what happened with Aiden definitely didn’t help in that department.”
“Marty, the more I get to know you, the more I think you’re actually not such a dick after all.”