Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
By the time I head home, I’m stressed as fuck. When I arrive at the apartment, I’m relieved to find my boyfriend sitting on the couch, his MacBook Pro on his lap desk. He glances up, bright-eyed, clearly about to ask me how it went. But his expression shifts in an instant as he picks up on my mood. He sets his lap desk on the coffee table and pushes to his feet.
“Ryan?”
I start to say something, but it catches in my throat.
He moves closer, his arms finding their way around me.
“Fuck,” I mutter, batting at my eyes with the backs of my hands.
He doesn’t push, gives me time to recover.
Having him here, knowing I can lean on him, means everything. Gives me the strength to finally get it out. “It was hard when they first shared the news, but it still didn’t feel real because things were normal. I think a part of me wanted to pretend it wasn’t really gonna happen. That they still had time to make up or make things work. Not that that would have happened, but it’s something I wanted to believe, but then I saw this picture on her phone with another guy, and it’s like my world came crashing down all over again. And next thing, Mom and Dad were already getting into it about who I’d spend Christmas with. I think Mom was just trying to keep things from being awkward, but it reminded me that nothing’s ever gonna be the same now.”
Marty’s quiet, just listens to my pain.
“I’m so sorry, Ry.”
His words are reassuring, offer that familiar soothing sensation. He pulls me in for a hug I eagerly accept, and the tears roll down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what to do, Mart.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
Of course, I know he’s not gonna have some magic answer to fix all this. Nothing can fix what’s been broken. I have to accept that now.
30
Marty
Ryan’s been in a funk since his visit with his parents. He’s not the smiley, friendly guy I’m used to seeing, the guy who doesn’t give a shit about anything. He’s not eating as much. He’s quieter. Even his kisses don’t feel as sincere. And we definitely haven’t been fucking as much.
Not that I expect him to be a fuck-machine all the time now that we’re boyfriends, but it only plays on my insecurities. I’ve tried to give him his space, not push, but I hate how it’s eating away at him.
It’s the same today, but at least he’s taking some of his frustration out on the build, hammering away like he’s got a grudge against the roof, while Lance and I toss chunks of debris into the dumpster in the driveway.
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve seen Lance and Ty here, so I’m glad they were able to make some time to help this weekend.
Lance chucks a piece cut off a two-by-four into the dumpster, then bows forward. “Oh…I think Ty and I might’ve gone on a little long last night. Really got him to hammer me.”
I cringe. “I really would prefer not to think about the two of you fucking.”
“What’s the point of you being queer if we can’t talk about stuff like this? Like, did you ever think that bottoming in missionary would be such a good core workout?”
I have to laugh because it’s true and not something I would’ve considered before fucking around with Ryan, but now I know how well it works the abs, something I can tell some of the people at the pool notice these days.
“Topping apparently works out the glutes more than you’d think too,” I observe.
“Not something I’d know anything about,” he points out.
He’s mentioned he prefers to bottom, but now I have to ask, “So you two never like…trade off?”
He shrugs. “Nah. He’s very happy to give me that dick, and I’m happy to give him this ass. Seems to work out. But if he wanted to try, I’d be down to give it a go. I bet I’d be a good top.” At my cringe, he says, “Okay, you don’t get to ask questions like that and then be grossed out when I answer.”
He’s got a point there.
“Speaking of knowing too much about each other’s sex lives, you heard from Ash and Colin?”
“Yeah, they’re having a blast in Chicago. They keep going out to this place…Steamworks. Sounds like they enjoy it.”
“I’m sure a lot of people are enjoying watching them enjoy it.”
We share a laugh.
“What about you guys?” he asks. “How’s this new relationship thing going?”
The way he drags out the question, I can tell he’s pressing cautiously, like he knows something’s up. And I doubt I’m hiding it very well. “Why would you ask it like that?”
Lance’s brows tug closer together. “Um…A: you’re one of my best friends and you seem off. And B: the way you just answered me sounds like you’re hiding a body under these boards.” He smirks playfully, clearly trying to cheer me up. Not while Ryan’s still this on edge. “Is this about the stuff with his parents?” he presses.