Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 164263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 821(@200wpm)___ 657(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 821(@200wpm)___ 657(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
“Well.” She cuts her steak with a subtle shrug. “I’m happy today.” She smiles with another shrug as she bites the steak from her fork.
I stare at her with a frown. “What does that mean?”
“I live for the day, I’m happy in the moment.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Speak English.”
“Well….” She thinks for a moment. “So many people live in the future and are always thinking ahead as to what will make them happy, but in the meantime are walking around miserable.”
“True.” I sip my wine as I listen.
“And up until recently I had always been very happy on a day-to-day basis.”
“Why until recently?”
“Well.” She smiles softly over at me. “You were this beautiful book that I started to read in Switzerland but I got interrupted and felt like I didn’t get to finish the story.” She takes a sip of wine. “But I always had your page turned down in hope that one day I could pick it back up to see how it ended.”
My heart swells as I stare at her.
“And then I saw you at that auction and instantly I was back in the unfinished book. And no matter how hard I tried to live in the moment and enjoy my day, I couldn’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was back in there with you.”
We stare at each other as the air crackles between us.
“So my days became sad and lonely and I felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.”
“And now you’re here and back in our book.”
“Yes.” She holds her glass over and I tap it with mine.
“Where does this book go, Alora?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “But I do know that I’m happy being back in the moment and I want to just take it one day at a time with us. As long as we’re both happy today is all that matters.”
I stare at her for a moment, uneasiness falls over me at her answer.
If your plan is to make me fall in love with you…only to leave me as soon as things get hard.
“You like to live a simple life?” I ask.
“I do. Stillness changes me in a way that busy can’t.”
“I have never been still.”
“I know.” She chews her food as if thinking. “But how do you know what’s in your heart if you are never still enough to listen to it?”
“Maybe my heart doesn’t speak.” I shrug.
“Or maybe you just never listened to it.”
I eat in silence, unsure how she wants me to respond.
“Love isn’t always loud, Edward.”
My eyes rise to meet hers. “What does that mean?”
“Lust is loud, love is quiet. It grows in between spoken words and offers a sense of belonging between two people.”
“That’s if you’re looking for love.”
“That’s true.”
“You know….” I hesitate. “If you’re looking for a grand love, I’m not the man for you. That’s not what I’m looking for.”
“I get that.” She nods. “But do you ever ask yourself why you wouldn’t want a grand love in your life?”
“No.”
“Well, then.” She shrugs casually. “Maybe this will be our last night together.”
Don’t say that.
“Why?” I put my cutlery down.
“Because I’m not going to dim my light to feed your shadows.”
My eyes hold hers.
“In my eyes…if you give up on true love then you are making a conscious decision to live a life with an average love. But no matter how you look at it, they both hurt.”
Her words hang in the air between us.
“Is that what you’re looking for?” I ask. “True love.”
“I’m looking for a best friend. Someone who knows what’s in my heart even when I don’t speak. A teacher, a protector, a beautiful father for my children.” She shrugs and sips her wine. “At my age this isn’t about orgasms, this is about finding my soulmate.”
I snap my eyes away from hers, typical fucking bullshit.
“I mean….” She stops herself mid-sentence.
“What?” I snap, annoyed.
“What can you offer me, Edward?”
“What does that mean?” I huff, she’s getting annoying now.
“Let’s be real, apart from orgasms and money…what can you offer me?”
“Apart from orgasms and money?” I frown. “Is that all I am to you?”
“Not at all, but I believe that’s all you think you are.”
I throw my napkin down onto the table. “I didn’t come here to get lectured on my shortcomings.”
“What did you come here for?”
“I came here to see you.”
“And yet you shy away from a hard conversation.”
“I’m not shying away from anything. I just don’t need this bullshit.”
“Okay.” She shrugs and picks up her cutlery and begins to casually eat again.
“What does okay mean?” I snap.
“It was fun while it lasted, but the reality is that this probably will be our last night together, and I hope you have a nice life with your white-hot money and your lukewarm love.”
I blink, surprised.
White-hot money and your lukewarm love…. She hit the nail on the head.