Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 31414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 157(@200wpm)___ 126(@250wpm)___ 105(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 31414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 157(@200wpm)___ 126(@250wpm)___ 105(@300wpm)
It was already past midnight, the streets empty and dark, but because Guy was willing to pay whatever it took (the fact that the sleepy receptionist recognized him didn't hurt either), the clinic opened its doors just for his rescue.
"We'll need to run some tests, have him connected to the IV..."
Him? So the kitten was a boy then?
"Sir? Do we have your permission?"
"Yes, of course. Whatever you think is best. I just want him to survive."
The nurse showed him to the waiting room. "Please wait here."
Fluorescent lights glared down at him as he took a seat. He expected the silence to be overbearing as he waited for updates, but instead, he could feel the tightness in his chest gradually easing. It was as if someone he couldn't see was choosing to share his burden. Lifting the weight off his shoulders so he could finally...
God.
Stop drowning.
Remember to breathe.
And realize—
You sent that kitten...
Guy watched his hands start to shake for no reason he could explain.
To save me.
Didn't you?
A part of him wanted to laugh. And weep. Because surely this was a sign of insanity, his heartache driving him to the brink that he was now talking in his mind—
I did, son.
And yet Guy knew...
He heard what he heard. He hadn't imagined it. And it was this that had him slowly hunching down and burying his face in his hands, his shoulders rocking as tears that he had refused to shed for almost his entire life finally rolled down his cheeks.
You knew I wanted to kill myself.
I did.
Why didn't You just let me die?
Because it wasn't your time, and to let you die would mean not having you with me after this world.
Stop acting like You give a shit about me.
I have loved you even before you were born.
You really expect me to believe that? How can You say You love me when You were never around? Where were You in all the times I needed You?
I was always by your side.
The voice inside Guy's mind was gentle and deep. Powerful and eternal. And so infinitely tender in His mercy and compassion as His Father guided him to see the truth.
You just didn’t want to look My way until now.
Chapter Seventeen
Jack: Sorry, I can't make it today.
Jilly: Why?
Jack: Because I have friends now.
I DON’T THINK IT’S working, God.
But I already know what you’re going to say.
Proverbs 3:5-6 was His Father’s answer, and it always made Guy want to wince, every time he thought of how his list of memorized verses had ballooned from negative-three to forty-three real quick, and all because of good old-fashioned heartbreak.
I just miss her, God.
Badly.
And while he knew, since Jillian’s love for God was real, divorce was out of the question for her, what if this was already God’s plan? Married but living separate lives, for reasons that might only be known to Him?
The thought made Guy cold inside. He jammed the mop into the industrial bucket with unnecessary force. Dirty water splashed upward in a violent arc that caught him square in the face. Grimy liquid trickled past his lips, the taste of disinfectant and institutional food mixing on his tongue like an ominous preview of what his future would taste like if God were to ask him to live a life without her.
Guy worked around scattered walkers and abandoned wheelchairs in Second Wind’s dining hall, mopping around the evidence of the evening meal. Mashed potatoes were ground into the linoleum tiles. Pureed carrots splattered under tables. Coffee stains had already set into permanent brown shadows. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead while somewhere down the hallway, a call button chimed insistently.
Riiing.
Guy nearly dropped his phone in his haste to yank it out of his uniform pocket, setting the mop against a food-stained wall as he answered the call without even bothering to check the name on the screen.
“Hello?”
"It's just me, sorry."
“Ah, Valerian.” Guy did his best to mask his disappointment. “It’s fine.”
Valerian appreciated Guy’s efforts not to hurt his feelings, even if he failed miserably at it, and this considering how Guy was an award-winning actor at that.
“I just called to update you.”
Guy stiffened, his free hand gripping the mop handle as residents shuffled past him in their evening migration toward the television room. "How is she?" It had been fifty-four days, four hours, and three minutes since he had last seen his wife.
“Poppy and I visited her yesterday. She and your babies are all doing great. I’ve also checked in with Josiah. Spoke to the contractor as well, and the renovation is moving on schedule.”
“That’s great to hear.”
“You’ll likely find this hard to believe, but Krista is now part of their study group.”
Guy, who had already resumed mopping after switching the call to Bluetooth, nearly tripped over his own mop at the words.
“I don’t...” Guy found himself actually grappling for words.