Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 119964 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 600(@200wpm)___ 480(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119964 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 600(@200wpm)___ 480(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Guilt pulls at my heart. He witnessed his best friend get knocked out on the field.
Jake could have died, and I know how much that affects Finn.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” My voice is a thread, reaching out for him.
Silence greets me instead. The force of his stare is a heavy hand on my chest. I turn to face him.
Wide eyes filled with outrage and anger glare back at me. “You think I’d be anywhere else than at your side?”
“Jake—”
“God . . .” Finn laughs but then, without warning, his eyes well up and his lips twist. I stare in shock as his chin quivers, and he lets out a harsh exhale that ends in a strangled sob.
“Hey,” I whisper.
His chest heaves, a horrible, pained movement, and he leans in, resting his head on my belly. “Fuck, Chess,” he says on a choked breath. His arm slings around my hips, fingers clutching my side. “You have no idea what it does to me to see you like this. I cannot stand seeing you hurt. I can’t.”
I stroke his hair. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
“It’s not okay.” He lifts his head and looks at me with eyes that are wet. “I got that call from James telling me I needed to get to the hospital because you were there, and my life fucking stopped. Do you understand? Your life stops, mine does, too.”
My heart swells in the hollow cavity of my chest. “Oh, Finn. Come here.”
But he doesn’t listen. He sits back in his chair, his expression resolute and hard, as he wipes his eyes. “So, yeah, I’m mad. You left me. And you got hurt. You can’t get hurt. And you can’t leave me again, Chester. I won’t survive.”
My big, strong man waits for an answer, his body tense, silvery trails of tears running down his cheeks. He’s left his heart wide-open for me, without shame or hesitation.
My vision wavers, and I blink to clear it. When I’m able to speak, emotion garbles my words. “Take my hand.”
Shaking, I hold out my own, waiting.
Finn’s brows pinch, his gaze darting from my face to my hand. I meet his eyes and hold his gaze. Does he know what I’m asking? Does he understand? Emotion bounces between us, and then, all at once, his expression clears. A small smile unfurls as he reaches out.
His warm, rough palm presses against mine. Our fingers thread. Something inside me settles into place with a silent click.
I give Finn’s hand a squeeze. “I was coming to find you. To tell you that I love you.”
He lets out a breath. And then he’s crawling into bed with me, tucking my body around his hard strength. Soft lips brush my temple. Finn cups my cheek with infinite care. “I love you so much, it scares me.”
I lean into his touch with a sigh. “That was my problem, too. But I’m not scared anymore.” My fingers toy with his longer ones. “I think no matter how my life played out I would have found you. I would have loved you.”
His eyes squeeze shut and when he opens them, they are shining. “You’re my fate, Chess. I’ve known that since the beginning. I was meant to be yours.”
“I told James that you were my fate.”
He gives me a knowing smile. “Some things were meant to be.”
I huff out a laugh. “That song . . . A band started playing it, right in the middle of my dinner. Every person in the place was singing along. How am I supposed to ignore a sign like that?”
He laughs. “You don’t.”
I lay my head on his shoulder, and we both rest. The steady beat of his heart soothes me. Finn strokes my knuckles with an idle touch.
“I’m sorry I left the way I did,” I finally say.
Finn stirs. “I wasn’t hearing you when you said you were afraid. Not the way you needed me to hear it, anyway.”
He turns his hand so that my palm rests on his and he’s now holding me. “You think I need to father a child to be happy because of what I lost. It was easier for me to brush that aside with quick assurances than to really ask myself if that was true.”
A tremor goes through me, and he tightens his grip as if he knows I want to pull away. Finn’s voice is steady and sure, but taut with a hint of wryness. “Football is easy, if you want to know the truth. Easy in the way that I’m gifted. I can do it well. If I fail, it’s all on me. I can control that.”
Long fingers curl over mine. “I never really lost anything that mattered to me until the baby. I couldn’t control that. It changed me, made me afraid. What I feel for you is fucking terrifying because I can’t control you, either. I can only love you and hope for the best—that you’ll love me back, that I can keep you safe and happy.”