Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
“What do you mean?”
“When I was younger. When I wanted to be alone, I’d go right to my mother’s closet. No one would ever think to look for me in here. I’d fish in her pockets for breath mints.”
“Did you find them?”
“Sometimes. Other times, I’d find things I wasn’t meant to.”
“Like what?”
“Like a business card to a private investigator, along with photos of my father kissing another woman.” He grimaced.
My stomach sank. “That must have been hard. Were you old enough to understand?”
He nodded. “I think I was about ten. And, yeah, unfortunately, I did understand. I remember mourning the life I thought I had, figuring out that nothing was really the way it seemed. I also remember feeling this relief that my mother knew, and it wasn’t a secret I had to keep. I couldn’t imagine doing that. I was proud of her for not letting him pull the wool over her eyes.”
“Did you say anything to her?”
“No. But I do remember secretly wishing she’d give him a piece of his own medicine. Kind of a strange thing to hope about your mom, I guess.”
“Do you think she ever did?”
“I don’t know. It was only a few years later that she got sick. And then a few years after that, she passed away.” He let out a long breath. “I often wonder if it was the stress of my father’s affairs that made her ill. Stress can do a number on the body.” Dorian stared up at the ceiling. “I remember thinking there was no braver thing than what she did—staying married to him when she could’ve just taken him to the cleaners. They didn’t even have a prenup.”
“Do you think she loved him, or she stayed married to him for you?”
He pondered that a moment. “I think it was the latter. And I regret that. I wish she’d been with someone who respected her more.”
“Isn’t it also possible that she stayed with him because she loved him? Both things can be true, can’t they?”
“I don’t know. I don’t understand how you can love someone who does that to you.”
“When we first met, though, you said you believed your father only ever loved your mother. That’s why he couldn’t have possibly loved Christina…”
He waved that away. “I was talking out of my ass the night we met. I don’t know whether my father truly loved my mother. And I never will. I know he was pretty upset after she died. I just never knew whether it was guilt or whether his heart was broken. But not sure how you could do something like he did to someone you truly love.” The sadness in his eyes was palpable.
“You think having money turns some good people bad?”
“It definitely doesn’t help.” He paused. “I remember as a boy wishing so badly that I just had a normal family, you know? One where the father wasn’t a cheater. Where there wasn’t so much money that you never knew whether someone was using you.” A pained look crossed his face. “But after Mom died, I regretted ever wishing for anything other than the life I had with her. She really was a great mom. And how much more did I need, you know?” He rubbed his temples. “God, how the fuck did I get to this place of vulnerability yet again in this fucking closet?”
“I think this stuff just needs to come out sometimes.”
“It scares me how easily I open up to you, Primrose.”
“I’m glad I’m here so you don’t have to go through this experience alone. I’m always happy to listen.”
“You say that, but I just complained to you about having a privileged childhood. How fucking tone deaf is that?”
“You still have a right to your feelings. Your wealth doesn’t take away the fact that you were hurt by your father’s actions, that you expected more, and also that having money sometimes can be a curse.”
He searched my eyes. “You said your father wasn’t around when you were growing up, but did you know him at all?”
I shook my head. “When my mother told him she was pregnant with me, he left and refused to believe he was the father. He didn’t want to deal with it. Rick continued to deny I was his, even though he was the only person she’d been with.”
“Did you ever meet him?”
A wave of overwhelming sadness came over me. My voice shook. “I met him once.”
“You don’t have to elaborate,” Dorian said.
“I never told anyone, not even my mother, that I went to see him. She died not knowing.”
“Will you tell me about it?” he asked softly.
I exhaled. “My mother had always been open with me about who my father was. I’d known his name from a very young age, but it wasn’t until I became internet savvy that I was able to look up his information—where he worked, that kind of thing.” I let out a breath of frustration. “I don’t know what I was thinking…that maybe if he saw my face, saw the resemblance, he’d finally acknowledge me.” I swallowed hard.