Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 42745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 214(@200wpm)___ 171(@250wpm)___ 142(@300wpm)
By ten, I’ve already been pulled in three different directions. By noon, I’m behind. By two, I know I’m going to have to fight like hell to leave on time. And by four, I lose a patient.
Mr. Harley. He’s seventy-two years old. He’s a husband, father, and grandfather. The halls of the hospital have been filled for days with his family, all worried about him. He had complications from surgery, and every time we thought we were getting ahead of it, something else went wrong. We did everything we could, and that’s what I tell his wife and his daughter. But even knowing I did all I could, I am hit with a heavy weight because it still wasn’t enough.
I go through the rest of my shift with a heavy weight on me. Losing a patient is never easy, and this one is even harder than most. I sign what needs to be signed and check on everyone who needs to be checked on.
By the time I make it to my office, it’s already five. I have forty-five minutes to get home, shower, change, and be ready to go.
For one second, I think about calling her. I’m not going to cancel, but maybe I should warn her about my state of mind. But quickly, I decide against it. Aria deserves more than my excuses, and I will not let her down.
I grab my bag and leave. I make it home in record time. Aria is upstairs when I walk in, and I can hear her moving around in our bedroom.
I don’t have a lot of time, so I shower in the downstairs bathroom. Wrapped in a towel, I walk upstairs to the closet and get dressed. I’m coming out of the closet, buttoning my cuffs when I stop in the doorway.
She’s wearing a dark green dress that hugs her in every place I want my hands. Her hair is down, and when she turns and sees me, her lips lift into a smile. “You made it.”
I sit down on the edge of the bed and put my socks on. “I said I would.”
She comes to stand in front of me. “I know. But I also know your job.”
Guilt settles in my chest. “I’m here.”
She gives me a small smile. “You are.”
I stand up. I want to kiss her, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to.
She seems to understand because she walks to me and straightens the collar of my shirt. “You look good.”
“So do you.”
Her hands pause on my chest. “You look tired too.”
I force a smile. “I’m fine.”
Her eyes narrow, and I know she doesn’t believe me, but she doesn’t push.
We get in the car a few minutes later. The dinner is at a restaurant across town, and I try to focus on the road in front of us instead of my day at the hospital.
Aria is quiet for the first few minutes, but I can feel her watching me. Finally, she says, “Penn.”
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t do that.”
I grip the steering wheel a little tighter.
She turns in her seat. “Please don’t do that with me tonight.”
The softness in her voice makes it worse.
I keep my eyes on the road. “I lost a patient today.”
Aria gasps. “Oh, Penn.”
I swallow hard. “It happens.”
“I know it happens. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
I don’t say anything.
She reaches across the console and puts her hand on my arm. “Pull over.”
I glance at her. “What?”
She says it again. “Pull over.”
“Aria—”
“Please.”
I signal and pull into the parking lot of a small closed shop. As soon as the car is in park, she unbuckles her seat belt and turns toward me. “Forget this,” she says.
I stare at her. “What?”
She shrugs. “The dinner. We’ll skip it.”
I shake my head, already about to put the car in drive again. “No.”
“Penn, I’m serious.” Her eyes are full of worry. “You lost a patient today. I’m so sorry. We don’t have to go sit through dinner and make small talk with people from work.”
There’s no way I’m skipping this. I finally showed up for her, and I have to follow through. “I can handle it.”
“You don’t have to handle everything.”
I look out the windshield. “Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t.”
I finally put my eyes back on her. “I’m tired of letting you down.”
She stills.
I drag a hand over my jaw. “I’m tired of saying I’ll be somewhere and not showing up. And I’m tired of you waiting for me and then telling yourself you understand. I know you do understand. That’s the problem. You always understand, and I still keep hurting you.”
“Penn.”
“I said I’d take you tonight.” I look at her. “I’m taking you.”
Her eyes soften, but they also shine a little. “I don’t want you to do this because you feel guilty.”
“I’m not.” I take a breath. “I’m doing it because you asked me to come, and I want to be there with you.”