Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 114492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
True, the guy’s been kind of a weird hermit for a while now—obsessed with nothing but climbing and working out and finding new investment opportunities—and, true, I’ve often thought Jonas should get out more, maybe go to a fucking party now and again, fuck some random woman he meets in a fucking bar, for Chrissakes. But that’s just not Jonas. He’s always been the sensitive one, attaching a deeper meaning to everything, including sex.
Actually, I suggested Jonas join The Club for a month in the first place because I figured a little meaningless sex might do the guy a world of good, exactly the way it did for me (and he’s clearly not capable of getting random pussy for himself, that’s for sure, though God only knows why, given what he looks like). And now I’m finding out my poetic brother viewed joining The Club as some sort of “surrender to insanity”? Well, shit.
I run my hand through my hair, desperation descending upon me. I feel like I could cry like a baby right now, even though I haven’t cried since I was ten years old. I seriously cannot do this again. I’ve carried my brother’s sanity on my back my whole fucking life, even when I’ve barely been able to hold the weight of my own. And I’m tired. I cover my face with my hands for a moment, trying to pull myself together.
There’s a long silence in the room.
“Well, all righty, then,” Kat finally says.
I glance up at her and she smiles warmly at me.
And just like that, I regain my footing. “Holy shit, Jonas,” I mumble, rubbing my hands over my face. “I’m all in when it comes to protecting Sarah and Kat, okay? Whatever it takes—you know that, right?”
“I know.” Jonas exhales. “Thanks.”
“I just think maybe you’re overreacting about—”
“Fuck, Josh!” Jonas leaps up from the couch and glowers over me like he’s about to strangle me—but I don’t flinch. The dude wouldn’t hurt a fucking fly and we both know it. “These motherfuckers threatened my girl and her best friend. Do you understand? They crossed the fucking line!”
I stand and open my mouth to speak, but Jonas cuts me off.
“I’m not letting them near her.” He pulls Sarah up off the couch and into him. “I’m gonna protect her—which means decimating the fuck out of them. Do you understand me? Decimating them.”
“Whoa,” I say. “Calm down.” Every hair on my body is standing on end. What the fuck is happening right now? He’s spiraling into some sort of panic attack and I don’t fully understand why.
“I’m not gonna let it happen again, Josh,” he blurts. “I couldn’t survive it this time—I know I couldn’t. I barely survived it before. You didn’t see what I saw... the blood... it was everywhere. You weren’t there.” He shuts his eyes tight. “You didn’t see her. I’m not gonna let it happen again. I can’t do it again.”
I feel like he just punched me in the teeth. Why the fuck is he saying this to me, especially in front of Sarah and Kat? I’m well aware I was sitting at a fucking football game, cheering happily, while Jonas watched our mother being fileted like a fish. No one needs to remind me of that fact.
“Jonas... Oh my God,” I say.
“I thought you’d understand, of all people.” Jonas’ voice is thick with emotion. “I don’t want to do this alone, but I will. I’ll do whatever I have to do, don’t you understand? I can’t let anything happen to her. Not again. Never again.”
This is insane. I can’t believe Jonas is comparing this situation to what happened to our mom. Motherfucker. He’s crossed a line here. He’s fucking crossed a motherfucking line. “Ladies, could you give us a minute?” I say, gritting my teeth. “Please.”
Jonas juts his chin at me and squeezes Sarah like he’s worried I might fucking attack her or something.
“Jonas,” Sarah whispers, brushing her lips against his jawline. “Talk to your brother, baby. He’s on your team.” She touches his face. “Your brother’s on your side. Just listen to him. He dropped everything to come here for you. Listen to him.”
Jonas lets go of Sarah’s hand, grabs her face with both hands, and kisses the hell out of her. Clearly, his kiss is a giant “fuck you” to me, but I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve it.
When Jonas pulls away from kissing Sarah, he looks fiercely at me, his nostrils flaring, glaring at me like he’s daring me to say a fucking word. But I’m not even tempted to speak. There’s nothing I could possibly say that wouldn’t involve the words “crazy” and “fuck” and “you.”
“One can easily forgive a child who’s afraid of the dark,” Jonas says, visibly trembling. “The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”