Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Oh my God. “You made it home. That’s all we wanted.”
He didn’t look like he heard a word I said.
“And then I thought, what if you were already dead? What if I never found you? And you know what I felt?”
I couldn’t tell if he wanted an answer. “No.”
He looked at me, and his eyes seemed feverish. “I felt relief.”
“What?”
“I felt relief. A burden lifted.”
The hair on the back of my neck rose. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do. Adaline, why would I lie about this now?”
I stared at him, stunned. What do I do with this? How do I fix it?
“The world is ending. This right here…” He held his hands out and circled the street. “This is done. It’s over. It’s over for all of us.”
“I think you’re still in shock.”
“Maybe. But I see things very clearly now. We are living on borrowed time. There will be more of these holes. They’re not just going to give up. We can’t beat them. I don’t know how much time we have left. Six months, a year, a week. Nobody knows.”
I’d gone strangely numb. A part of me knew he was talking and making words, but none of the sounds made any sense.
“I’m going to live whatever time I have left on my own terms. Doing what I want.”
He fell silent and looked at me. This was the part where I had to say something.
My voice came out wooden. I was so calm, and I had no idea why. “And what is it you want, Roger?”
“Not this.”
“Ah.”
“Not anymore.”
“Is there room for me and the kids in this new life on your terms?”
“No.”
The word lashed me.
“We’ve been together ten years. If you don’t want to be married, that’s fine, but you don’t get to just quit being a father. The kids have known you their entire lives. They won’t understand, Roger. They need you. I need you.”
“It’s not about you or them. This is about me. I need something else.”
“Tia loves you. Noah adores you. That little boy can’t wait for you to come home. Every day he does a little dance when he sees your car in the driveway. You know what Tia told me while we were waiting for you? She said, ‘Don’t worry Mom, Dad will kill all the monsters.’”
Roger shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t kill any monsters. I didn’t save anyone. I just froze. And I’m not going to spend the rest of my life feeling like a coward.”
“So, you’re just going to abandon us? To whatever happens?”
A hint of something cold and vicious twisted his face. “I have a right to be happy. For however long I have left. I’m going to grab my happiness and hold on to it while I still can. This is done. We are done.”
“What am I supposed to tell the kids?”
“Whatever you want.”
He got up and went inside.
“And now you know how my marriage ended, Bear. I’ve had a decade to think about it. I understand it better now. I was able to drive away from the slaughter. I escaped. He couldn’t. He just sat in that car stuck and waiting to die, and it must’ve occurred to him that he was doing that exact same thing in his life. He must’ve realized something about himself that neither he nor I knew until that moment.”
I stroked Bear’s fur.
“He’s down in Puerto Rico. He owns a boat and takes tourists out to the reefs to snorkel with manta rays. He is exactly where he wants to be. And until today, I was where I wanted to be. I manifested as a Talent three years after that first gate break. Yes, I got this job for benefits and pay, because I have bills and kids, but there are other ways to earn money. I do it because every time I find adamantite or aetherium, it makes us a little stronger. It gives us a better fighting chance to repel this invasion, and I will keep finding this shit until all the breaches are broken and all the gates are closed, so my children can have a safe, boring future.”
I realized that I was snarling and took a deep breath.
“I don’t blame Roger for the divorce. I blame him for being a shit father. I’ve tried, Bear. I’ve sent emails, I texted, I offered phone calls. He didn’t respond. The only communication from him was through the child support payments. That’s how I knew he was still alive.”
Another shudder twisted me.
“He works as little as possible, so he makes just enough to survive and maintain the boat. At first he was sending two hundred dollars a month, then a hundred, then he stopped. I kept offering to send the kids to visit him or inviting him to visit us, and he cut that off. He said he didn’t want to see them. I finally had enough and had my lawyer email him an affidavit to relinquish his parental rights. I thought it would shock him into having a relationship with our kids. It came back as a scan in twenty-four hours, attached to a blank email, signed, notarized and witnessed by two people. He wanted to get rid of Tia and Noah that much.”