Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 105183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
I look up at my brother in surprise. “I’m sleeping with him, not marrying him.”
“Amelia!” Mum snaps.
“Well, I am.” I laugh, flinching at my own words, quite sure Jude would have something to say about my claim. But I must play this down for a while. Give them time to get over Nick, and for Nick to get over me. And who knows where this is going with Jude?
Am I being delusional?
“I’m sleeping with him,” I repeat, stronger. “And I—”
The front door opens, and I still, hearing Dad coming in. “Shit,” Clark mutters, grabbing the flowers.
“Oh dear,” Mum whispers.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
“Amelia!” Mum scolds me as I get up, ready to assist Clark hiding the flowers, taking them from his arms, just as Dad wanders in. We both freeze.
“Nice flowers,” Dad says.
“I got them for Rachel,” Clark blurts, grabbing them back and grinning. I sigh, rubbing my forehead. This is ridiculous.
“They’re mine.” I claim them back off Clark, smiling my appreciation for him trying to cover for me. But I’m thirty years old and single. I do not need to sneak around.
“Yours?” Dad asks.
“I’m seeing someone.”
Dad recoils, just as somebody appears behind him.
My mouth turns lax. “Nick,” I breathe.
“Oh shit,” Clark curses.
“Oh,” Mum whispers. “Oh, this is unfortunate.”
I stare at Nick, as he stares at the over-the-top flowers in my arms. “I invited Nick for dinner,” Dad declares, unashamed, as I glare at him, so fucking angry.
“What’s going on?” Grandpa hobbles into the kitchen on his stick. “Oh, Nick, how lovely to see you.”
“You’re seeing someone?” Nick’s voice is so quiet, hurt splashed all over his face.
“It’s nothing serious.” Mum starts flapping around the kitchen again. “She’s just sleeping with him.”
“Mum!” Clark and I yell in unison.
“Who?” Nick asks as Dad places a hand on his shoulder and rubs, his unimpressed eyes nailed to me. The villain.
“Nick, it’s—”
“Who?” he repeats, his eyes definitely clouding. Oh God.
“It’s no one you’d know.”
“Who?” he snaps, getting himself worked up. “Who is it?” He gasps. “Were you having an affair? Is that why you left me?”
“No, Nick, of course I wasn’t.”
“Well, you met someone pretty damn quickly, didn’t you? I thought you didn’t want a relationship? I thought your precious career was more important than me and our future.”
“Okay, I think everyone needs to calm down,” Clark says, taking my elbow. “They’re just flowers.”
Just flowers.
I feel my throat closing as I look at Dad, feeling the disapproval and disappointment. “I wasn’t having an affair.” I need to make that clear. “I met someone unexpectedly and he’s sent me flowers.”
“And you’re sleeping with him,” Nick adds. “Is it serious?”
I can’t answer that, and not because I don’t know how serious it is. I’m honestly so uncertain about everything. I know how I feel about Jude, but I’m terrified about admitting it out loud, to Jude especially. And besides, it’s early, it’s intense, and it’s really fucking fiery.
“I have to go.” I walk out with my flowers and snatch up my bag and files.
“Amelia,” Nick calls as I pull the door open. “Wait.”
I march on, being sure to hold back my tears of frustration. Nick grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop when I reach the road. “No, Nick.”
“I love you, Amelia,” he says, pleading. “Please, let’s try again. I’ll forget the kids, no marriage, whatever you want.”
I shake my head. “It’s too late.”
“But I love you,” he croaks. “And I know you love me too.”
I don’t think I ever loved Nick. I admired him, respected him, but I don’t think I truly loved him, or even saw a future with him, and I don’t feel good admitting that. But feeling what I’ve been feeling since I met Jude? It’s made me realise what love feels like. And the fact there’s so many question marks over what’s happening with me and Jude, and yet I still feel like this? It’s unstoppable, untameable love. Being vulnerable. Putting your heart at risk and hoping the person you’re handing it to will be careful with it.
“I don’t love you.” My reluctance to say the words is clear. I don’t want to hurt him. “Please, Nick, you’ve got to let go.” I turn and walk away.
“Never,” he yells. “I’ll never stop trying! I’ll make you realise!”
All he’s made me realise is how deep I’m in with Jude, because my feelings toward him feel like they’re on a whole different level.
Love.
I stop when I hear Nick get in his car, and he drives off fast, taking the corner out of the close practically on two wheels. He’s angry.
“Fuck,” I hiss to myself. That was not how I wanted him to find out about Jude.
“Amelia, darling!”
Grandma hobbles down the driveway. “Grandma, what are you doing?” I hurry back, taking her arm to help her.
She swats me away. “I knew I smelt a man on you,” she whispers, pulling her knitted cardigan in before reaching for my cheeks, cupping them with both hands. “Does he make your tummy flutter?” she asks, surprising me. I take a breath and nod, and Grandma smiles mildly. Knowingly. “Does your heart beat harder?”