Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 117010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117010 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
I’ve thrown up more times than I care to remember at the thought of her hurt and alone somewhere, to the point that Pop has me under twenty-four-hour watch. Between him and Lancelot, I don’t think I’ve been alone for more than ten minutes at a time without one or the other checking in.
Now I’m sitting alone in her room at the Fontane residence like a fool, blaming myself because it’s my fault, all of it, and wondering why this had to be my penance. I was hoping against hope that she’d at least contact the twins and let them know she was okay, but they themselves have heard nothing.
By the end of the first week, my fear turned to anger and back to fear again. I couldn’t eat, was hardly sleeping, and was just going through the motions. I miss her voice, miss her smell, I miss everything about her. Even though I know it was for her own good, I’m now wondering whatever made me think I could live without her in my life.
People stayed away from me; only Pop and Lance dared get near me. At school, there were whispers and stares. I became cold, colder than I’ve ever been. I didn’t look at the blueprints for Ricci’s demise, not once because somewhere in the back of my mind, I blamed him for this too. Had he not been the bane of my existence, I wouldn’t have sent her away.
Anger and fear turned to hate by month three. Not hate for her, but for everything else. My life truly had no meaning now. I used to think it didn’t before, but now I know what that truly means. After I’d exhausted all my options, I used that hate to dive back into vengeance mode. I had no other way to expend all this pent-up energy, but I never stopped looking.
My team had become like my shadow, no doubt thanks to Pop, but they were the ones doing most of the looking. At least once a day, they did a search using their own contacts and connections as well. Pop never stopped using all of his resources, and it was because of him, because of the worry I saw in his face across the breakfast table each morning, that I decided to pull myself together.
There was one thing I knew that she was alive. I told myself that had she departed this world; I would’ve known. I think she’s just hurt for now and that one day she’ll come to her senses and return or at the very least get in touch to let me know that she was fine. I had to tell myself that in order to move on, to breathe again.
When the pain got too unbearable, I’d hold the mutt in my lap for comfort. She’d left the damn dog. For some reason, when I think of that, I get so pissed off at her I want to scream. She’d thrown everything back in my face. But then sometimes I’d have these moments where I’m so proud of her because she’d stood up for herself. She could’ve done that shit in Virginia, where I’d at least know that she was safe.
“I’m gonna light your mama’s little ass up as soon as she shows her face again.” Can dogs roll their eyes? I’m pretty sure the little shit just did just that. “Where did your mother go? You know, don’t you?” She’s brought me to this. Now I take care of the dog, waiting for the day she comes back for him.
* * *
GIANNA
* * *
I looked at the calendar on the wall in the little log cabin on the lake in the middle of nowhere paradise. I still find it hard to believe that not many people have found this place yet, that it’s still so uninhabited. There were maybe fifty people spread out across thousands of acres, everyone keeping to themselves but being neighborly enough to look out for one another if need be.
Winter had been hard as I’d been warned beforehand, but it wasn’t that much different from winters back home. No one knew I was here, not even the people who’d helped me escape New Hampshire. I’d used them as far as I needed to, just enough to get new IDs and such. It’s amazing what you can achieve with the internet at your fingertips.
All I’d needed to do could be done online, but in those first days, I was so mad, so hurt, I just wanted to disappear. I’d withdrawn a lot of cash from the account dad had set up for me and used the new ID to open an account, leaving most of the money from my inheritance untouched, just taking what I needed to survive.
I knew that Gabriel could track me that way if he wanted to, so I’d done some research and found a forwarding agent that specialized in helping people move money discreetly. It would take a monumental effort for him to go through all the hoops to find me, and even then, I’d put other things in place to safeguard myself from being found. I bet he wishes now that he’d never taught me all that he had,