Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“I gotta get outta here.” I walked over to our closet and found a hoodie. The rage flowed freely, and I clung to it. If this was what he wanted, so fucking be it. I’d find a way to be cool with it. “I’ll spend the night at Theo’s.”
“Ash—”
“I’ll be here tomorrow,” I snapped. “What the fuck do you take me for? I’ll be here.”
But not right now. I had to get out before the pain returned.
“Wait!” He stopped me in the doorway before I could open the door, and I didn’t even recognize the look in his eyes. There was nothing there. “Did you mean it? Are we over?”
I swallowed as the pain almost broke through the fury.
“I chose us. You didn’t. So yeah, I guess we are,” I said.
A few hours later
Arlington
Nathan Riley
Hold it together a while longer.
Breathe.
Don’t fall apart.
I’d be home again in half an hour. Alone in ten, although I’d rather not lose my fucking shit on the Beltway.
“Daddy, listen!”
“What?” I glanced in the rearview, finding Lily watching me expectantly. “I’m sorry, baby. What did you say?”
She giggled and shook her head. “You’re silly. When’a we wiv Nana and Pop-Pop?”
Yeah, Daddy was super silly.
“Very soon.” I forced a smile and refocused on traffic.
I could fool Lily and Micah. And Dylan was still at his friend’s house, so he’d be dropped off at my folks’ later. Hallie, though. I’d caught her watching me all morning. She was perceptive.
Within a few minutes, I parked next to Dad’s car, and Hallie jumped out. More than that, she opened the door to help Lily out, and that spoke volumes. For Hallie to take a break from her moodiest stage in life so far—to help a parent without being told a dozen times first? She knew something was wrong.
Goddammit.
With nausea churning higher and higher up my throat, I put on the performance of a lifetime—or so I hoped—and grabbed their backpacks. “Who’s ready for a sleepover with Nana?”
“Me!” Micah exclaimed.
“Yay! Me!” Lily yelled.
I’d include Dad, but let’s face it. He wasn’t the funniest to be around unless you loved watching documentaries, playing golf, and talking about airplanes.
He plays golf with Ash.
Christ. How could we even disentangle our lives? Not only did Dad play golf with Ash, Theo, and their old man, but our parents enjoyed spending time together without us as well. Hell, they’d taken a New England cruise last fall. Our fathers went fishing together. Our mothers called each other long before they called us about plans for the holidays and every birthday.
Juliana opened the door before I’d even left the driveway, and she was quick to light up and usher the kids inside.
She was also one of the perceptive ones. She knew Ash and I were struggling, so I hadn’t been surprised when she’d offered to watch the children today. The instant I had mentioned that Ash and I had some things to discuss, she’d told me to bring the little ones over early.
The children disappeared, including Hallie, and today was the day I didn’t ask if I could get a hug first. I’d see them this afternoon. By then, I planned on being hopped up on caffeine so I could fake a cheerful Thanksgiving mood.
I handed over the backpacks and tried not to throw up at the smell of food pouring out of the house. Any other day, I would’ve loved it.
“Ah, look at you, mijo.” Juliana reached up and cupped my cheek. “Whatever it is you’re fighting about—you’ll work it out, you hear? You and Ash belong together.”
I coughed into my fist as my body gave me a warning. I had to be behind closed doors fucking ASAP.
“I can tell it’s serious, but you will make it,” she said firmly.
My ability to fake a smile flew out the window. “We’ll see.”
“No.” She knitted her brows and hugged my middle quickly. “None of that. Maybe you have a rough period, yes? But you will make it.”
Saying it twice didn’t make it true, but whatever.
“Ash and I will be here at four,” I said instead. “Thank you for…you know.”
“Pshh—don’t. I love having them here.” She really did. She liked to say she’d been born to be a grandmother. “You go talk to Ash, okay?”
I nodded once.
I could postpone the meltdown, but I couldn’t stop from crying on the way home. Tears rolled down continuously, no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.
Thanksgiving traffic was brutal, so when I got stuck at a light, I pulled out my phone and texted Ash.
I dropped the kids off at my parents’. When will you be home? We need to talk about how to handle this breakup.
“Fuck.” I covered my mouth with my hand and screwed my eyes shut.
We’re over.
I’d never felt this kind of pain before. I’d never understood the full meaning of heartbreak. And how it actually felt. But it really felt like my heart was breaking into pieces. Painful pressure and foggy numbness took turns controlling my chest, my stomach, and my head. They could change like a flip of a switch, and those sensations were in charge of my thoughts too. They pushed me between red-hot anger and crushing grief.