Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 35961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 180(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 180(@200wpm)___ 144(@250wpm)___ 120(@300wpm)
Brayden chooses this moment to reenter the living room. He winces at Derek’s statement. “Here, babe. Just how you like it.”
I accept the steaming mug and flash him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
“Should I go?” Brayden asks, eyes locked on mine.
No.
Please stay.
I’ll get rid of him.
And yet, I find myself nodding. Derek is struggling, actually showing emotion for once, and he needs to get it out. I can at least hear what he came to say.
Hurt flashes in Brayden’s eyes, but he quickly shutters the look. He presses a soft kiss to my forehead and then slips out of the house without another word. A shiver races down my spine. It’s as if he took his sunny warmth with him.
I sit down on one end of the couch and draw a blanket into my lap. Mo prances into the room, meowing and letting his presence be known. I pat my thigh, and he jumps up onto my lap so he can get morning cuddles.
“You got a cat?”
“Stole it.”
Derek’s expression of horror would be comical if I weren’t so annoyed about him being here in the first place.
“Maggie,” I explain with a sigh. “Mo just visits when he wants.”
Derek stops pacing to take a seat on the other end of the sofa, angling his body toward me. “It was not easy seeing that up there.”
Me with another man.
“I’m sorry it upset you.”
He scrubs a palm over his scruffy face. “Nick told me he saw you. Failed to mention your date was a teenager.”
“You’ve made your point how you feel about that, but I won’t continue to take this level of disrespect from you in my own home.”
His body flinches and I know I’ve gotten through to him. He’s being an asshole, and he knows it.
“Sorry,” he grumbles. “I just got jealous, you know? The thought of you with someone else made me miss our good times.”
“Too little, too late, Derek.”
He nods. “I can see that now.”
“This isn’t like you. You’re not explosive or angry. In fact, you usually bottle up all your feelings.”
“I gave up smoking,” he says with a grunt. “Turns out when you can’t smoke, the feelings burst out a lot more easily.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“I just thought about us and…” His bottom lip quivers just once, making my heart ache.
“The baby,” I whisper. “Not a day goes by where I’m not sad too.”
“It really messed us up losing it.”
I take a sip of my coffee as I stroke Mo’s soft fur. “We were messed up before getting pregnant. We were too stubborn to admit it.”
“Maybe we could fix it,” he says, voice tight.
But we can’t.
I realize now Derek never truly made my heart flutter wildly whenever he was near, not even in the beginning.
Brayden does, though.
Every single time.
“Listen,” I say gently, “I know you miss the idea of us, but we weren’t going to last. I know this now. Even if we’d have had the baby, I don’t know if it would have been enough to keep us together. Something was always missing. Don’t you see that?”
His jaw works like he might cry which would be a sight since I’ve never seen him do it, not even after the miscarriage. “I wanted to feel that with you. I just…”
“You can’t force chemistry and true love, Derek. But we had a solid friendship. I still think of you as someone I can count on. You thought something was wrong when my door was left ajar, and you immediately came to check on me. That matters to me.”
“But…”
“But we’ll never have what we had. It’s not good enough for either one of us. Your person is out there. When you find them, you’ll realize that is worth fighting for, not this.”
“I’m sorry I barged in and insulted you and Brayden. That was out of line.”
“Apology accepted.”
“I should go.”
“You should. I need to go find where my boyfriend ran off to and assure him we’re still good.”
Derek nods, defeated. “For what it’s worth, tell him I’m sorry for being a dick.” He pauses and gives me a sad smile. “And tell him thank you for making you coffee. I should have done stuff like that for you. You really do deserve the world, Casey, and I hope he’s the one who can give it to you.”
After Derek left, I took a shower and spent time dolling myself up. I need to have a conversation with Brayden. Looking hot for him will help win him back.
Do I think he’s angry with me for sending him away?
No.
Did I hurt his feelings again?
Absolutely.
But, apparently, the conversation with Derek was long overdue. It gave me closure I didn’t know I needed. I’m ready to put my past with him behind me once and for all.
The wind blows as I walk toward Gordon’s old unit, lifting my short white skirt. I have to hold the material down with both hands, so I don’t flash any creepers like Joel or Troy. This outfit is specifically for my man.