Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
She's right. The view is beautiful. The dark sky bleeds into the deep blue ocean. From here, on the hill, the city of Laguna Beach looks quiet. The rows of houses are peaceful. Serene.
I suppose they are in the day, too. This is a calm place. In a certain sort of way.
"I am looking forward to getting to know you," she says. "To see if you're a good fit for my son."
"Of course."
"I have to admit, your divorce… it gives me pause." She holds her hand over her heart. "Can you tell me what happened?"
"What happened that led to my divorce?" I ask.
She nods, yes. "Was it him? Did he cheat? Or did you fall out of love?"
Downstairs, the front door opens. It must be Romeo with the suitcases.
Amara bites her lip as she looks to me. "It's nothing personal. I just… I want him to be with someone who takes her commitments seriously. And you seem like that person. But…"
But I have a scarlet D on my forehead.
"So, tell me, woman to woman. What happened? Why is it you're available now?"
Chapter Fifteen
Ivy
What are the acceptable reasons to leave your husband?
Maybe it's okay if he leaves you. If you're the one who stuck it out. Who tried the hardest.
I tried a lot. I tried forever. For too long.
That can't be the right thing to say. I can't say hey, we always had this little problem in the bedroom, but it got a lot worse, and he was always saying it would get better. He'd see a therapist, soon. He'd stop watching porn, soon. He'd work it all out, soon.
Maybe he meant it, at the time.
But soon never came. And eventually I had to wonder why this person who loved me was so comfortable lying to me.
But look at me here, helping your son, who obviously loves you, lie to you. It's not like I can talk about honesty, now can I?
I gave my ex a timeline. I said this is better by July, or I leave.
It wasn't, so I did.
Does that mean I left?
Or that he abandoned me?
It's not a cut and dry answer. No one did anything too horrible to forgive. Not by any sort of normal standards, anyway. But we both did things that hurt too much for the other to forgive.
And, well—
It's just so strange looking back on my ex-husband and trying to figure out how the man I met and fell in love with became the man I divorced. It's not that he's a bad guy now.
We're still friends. It's a lot easier to be friendly without the why don't you want to have sex / why are you so obsessed with sex elephant in the room.
Romeo didn't warn me about this.
He didn't warn me to keep my divorce a secret or tell me how to spin it.
She wants someone who tries to save their marriage. She wants someone who will try with her son.
I do try. I have grit. I have a PhD!
"You know it is with men," I say. "No matter how hard you try, if they don't want to change, they won't." It's the truth, more or less, but it's vague enough to fit my situation. Or invite her to imagine bad behavior on his part.
She taps her chin, turning over my answer, deciding how I fit into her image of her son's ideal future wife.
Footsteps move up the stairs.
Romeo.
But the staircase is long. I can't wait for him to arrive.
I try to come up with a response that will put me back in a good light, but something tells me she won't be impressed by the details of my PhD program. Sometimes tells me the late nights studying won’t prove I’m the kind of woman she wants as a daughter-in-law. "I learned a lot from the experience. I know what can go wrong now. I know not to overlook things before I get married."
She nods, accepting my answer, but not necessarily approving. She wears a pretty strong poker face. I'm not sure if she's upset at me, but I can tell she's not embracing me.
Thankfully, my fake boyfriend saves me from his mother’s suspicion. He arrives at the door and drops off my suitcase.
"Mama, why are you interrogating Ivy?" he asks. "It's her first night here."
"Just some, what do you call it, girl talk," she says.
"I'm going to help her set up." He moves further into the room. Until he's at the bed. "But I'll sleep in mine."
She puts her hands over her ears. "I can't hear you. I don't care. I just don't want to hear from your brother." She looks me over one more time, then moves back to the hallway and down the stairs.
She leaves the door wide open, of course.
Romeo shakes his head. "I'm sorry she's being ridiculous. She always is. Let me give her thirty minutes to fall asleep. Then I'll show you a few tricks."